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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

#21460927
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23166) - you deserved it (3751)

On 08/26/2015 at 12:14pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States (Utah)

Afroman720's comment about their FML

So I asked her if I could have a redo because I was wayyyyyyyyy too nervous, and so I was able to tell her I like her without the running away and such this time! No update on how she feels about me though...I didn't wait for a response cause I had to leave work in a hurry to make it to school on time haha. One step at a time right?

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Today, I've reached the point in my life where the "Apply to affected area" label on acne cream essentially means I need to take a bath in the stuff. FML

#21460776
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23542) - you deserved it (1869)

On 08/26/2015 at 12:33am - health - by Whiteheads - United States (Texas)

Whiteheads's comment about their FML

OP here, I made an account to reply. To clarify a bit, I'm 19, so I've been dealing with acne for a while and have my face pretty well under control. I said I need to take a bath in acne cream because it's mostly my shoulders and back, and no amount of washing and scrubbing seems to help. Thanks for the funny comments and advice :)

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Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

#21460521
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27915) - you deserved it (1679)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm - misc - by Schizomaniac (man) - United States

Schizomaniac's comment about their FML

Thankfully he's only a PE teacher. Not to discredit PE teachers, but at least he is not in a position to actually provide information to students.

This guy is an absolute nutjob. These are real claims he has argued in the past:
-evolution is a lie (no surprise)
-dogs are more intelligent than chimpanzees
-our most sophisticated equipment can't see outside our galaxy (lol)
-humans are the only animals that rely on fruits and vegetables for food

And many, many others. He's the type of person to argue with a chef because he read a cookbook. It's sad.

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Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

#21460266
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24271) - you deserved it (15689)

On 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm - animals - by SilentSin - United States (Georgia)

SilentSin's comment about their FML

OP here. I just wanna clear things up. I work third shift and go to college full time, so yes, I do take naps every now and then before work (usually right after classes), and the two dogs I own are a Pomeranian and a chihuahua terroir, both of which are two very small breeds of dogs. So for those saying that dogs are meant for protection, yeah, not these. Pomeranians are very defensive of their territory, so no matter who or what my Pom sees or hears outside, she'll bark like crazy. The chihuahua usually does the same thing; they bark even when they hear me open the garage door. No, I never heard the intruder break in and yes, I have trained the dogs both to silence the barking but only on command. So since they were in a different room than me, I went and commanded them to silence, and yes I didn't think there was a burglar in the house because like I said earlier, these dogs bark at EVERYTHING. Being distracted by the dogs, I did get KO'd but it wasn't for too long. I woke up only minutes after, called police and managed to catch the thief, so it's all good now. I hope this clears things up and that y'all have a fantastic day!

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Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

#21460198
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (2944)

On 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm - health - by Szaszaspasz - Canada (British Columbia)

Szaszaspasz's comment about their FML

Hi! It's the OP. The blister formed earlier in the day because of a new pair of running shoes I was breaking in. The blister didn't seem too bad, but it got filled up as the day progressed. As I got into the car, it burst. I never let on because my shoes were not open-toes. The date was great, we went to Pizza Hut, but I got tomato sauce on my outfit. I'm a klutz FML

This was in 1990. I was too nervous to run back up to my barracks and do something about the blister. I was 19 at the time.

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Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

#21459916
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (13923)

On 08/24/2015 at 12:18am - money - by ealovan - United States (Iowa)

ealovan's comment about their FML

op here. it's always cool when your FML gets posted because in a weird way it makes the situation a little bit better lol. just some clarification, i started this job a little over a month ago and when i went to the orientation, they gave us $15 dollar gift cards. it was after a 9 hour shift when this sweet old man asked for some change. i remembered i had this gift card in my wallet for a month now and figured he would benefit from it more than i would. i was tired and it was dark outside, but i should have payed more attention. once i realized this mistake i quickly went back to my work, and luckily he was still there. he was very sweet and figured i handed him the wrong card, i gave him the right card and now everyones happy. i'm just glad it was him because god knows what any other person would have done with it.

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Today, I was at a concert and the performer told everyone to wave their phones in the air. I threw my hand up and then a huge woman caught my iPhone and disappeared into the crowd. FML

#21459682
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (6639)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:39pm - misc - by AlicefromIreland - Ireland

AlicefromIreland's comment about their FML

What happened was when we were told to wave the phones in the air I flung my arm up a bit too fast and my phone flew out of my hand and this "huge woman" (in talking morbidly obese, bundles me out of the way and snatched my phone from the air. I never saw her or the phone again...

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Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

#21459488
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (10942)

On 08/22/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by emily074 - United States (Oregon)

emily074's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here (:
A little more explanation on this story: I've been babysitting this girl for two years, so we have a very strong relationship. We always joke around with each other, and she often says I'm her best friend. So she wasn't just a random girl I was looking after for the first time.
Growing up, my parents' go-to cure for the hiccups was to drink from the far side of a glass while bent over, and it worked almost 100% of the time for me and my brothers with no incidents. The girl I babysat had heard of the method, so when she got hiccups, she agreed to try it. As you read, it didn't go well, but was laughing afterward because it did indeed get rid of them.
To all those saying that the method was dangerous, it might be, but it's just a sip of water. She was completely fine afterward, and even if it had gone wrong, an EMT lives next door. I obviously won't advise this method again for her, but it's not like she would've died. Her parents were understanding about the incident and were chuckling about it by the time I left. Don't take this story too seriously. I'm babysitting her again tomorrow and her parents say she's excited for me to be back!

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Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (14458)

On 08/22/2015 at 9:21pm - love - by YourAverageFckUp - United States (Virginia)

YourAverageFckUp's comment about their FML

OP here. First, thanks for all the support and funny comments :) no, my face wasn't in the picture. He said he did it to lighten the mood. He apologised and then surprised me by showing up at my place with flowers and chocolate to make up for it. Happy ending after all!

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Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

#21459270
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25116) - you deserved it (5208)

On 08/22/2015 at 10:59am - intimacy - by dannidoll93 - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

dannidoll93's comment about their FML

OP here, clearing a few things up. This actually happened a couple of years ago before I moved out but thought it would make a fun FML. The girlfriend and I are both female. I had unpacked the rest of my bag (including my toothbrush) when I got home but was waiting until everyone had cleared out of my room to put the vibrator away. :) I just did my best to avoid his questions until he forgot! I'm enjoying all the comments :D

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Today, I had a box full of crickets in my room. I sealed it up with tape and went to take a shower. When I returned, I found that the box had popped open, releasing almost all of the crickets. I can still hear the chirping. FML

#21458917
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20677) - you deserved it (7618)

On 08/21/2015 at 4:09pm - animals - by Kaei (woman) - United States (California)

Kaei's comment about their FML

thank you omg someone who puts 1 and 2 together

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Today, after working incredibly hard to get into college without having to take out loans, classes started. I was told we'll need a $200 piece of software, and we'll fail without it. There's no way I can afford it. FML

#21458353
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (2084)

On 08/20/2015 at 3:21am - misc - by NotCollegeBound (woman) - United States (Georgia)

NotCollegeBound's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here! I did consider pirating the software but I know there's a good chance of running into buggy software if I do so, and I'd rather not have to scramble to find something else if it quits on me in the middle of a lesson. The instructor's looking to see if there are any computers on-campus that already have the software installed, but that ruins the point of taking online classes, and there's no guarantee that even if she finds some, they'll be available on the days that I can get there.

It turns out I'm going to need the software again for two more classes, though I can take them both in the same semester to make it easier on myself. I can also rent it for about $20/month, which is probably going to be the option we take once we can shift some of the bills around. I'm going to need it this semester (my first) and in my third semester, so it'll help save some of the cost. On the upside, though, it means we'll be using the same textbook for all three classes, so there's a little money saved there as well.

I really think that the biggest suck was not telling us beforehand, because my husband and I had the money a few weeks ago. When we discovered that it was extra money, we decided to drop our 1-year-old off at my grandparents' and take ourselves out on a long-awaited (as in, we hadn't been out since before our daughter was born) date night. If I had known that I would need that money for the software, you can guarantee that we would have saved it!

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Today, my dad called to wish me a happy birthday. I said thank you but informed him that my birthday is tomorrow. He told me that I was wrong and screamed at me for 20 minutes. When I still wouldn't agree with him, he hung up and turned my phone service off. FML

#21457557
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23420) - you deserved it (2084)

On 08/18/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by InterestingMuch - United States (Virginia)

InterestingMuch's comment about their FML

The worst part about this is that he did this last year as well. Except last year, he called TWO days early and tried to shrug it off as a joke. This year, I think he was just super embarrassed and felt like crap.

He DID turn my phone back on and called me today (the right day this time) and apologized. Said he was stressed from work. Maybe next year? 3rd time is the charm, right? I mean, he is getting closer to the right day....

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