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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I saw the script for the end of year assembly skit I'm forced to participate in. Looks like on my last day of high school, I'll be running around in a rainbow unicorn costume in front of my entire high school and their parents. FML

#21151611
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40016) - you deserved it (5269)

On 05/25/2014 at 9:43pm - misc - by Banana_Lord - United States (California)

Banana_Lord's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here. I guess I should explain this a little better. On the last day of school, we have a big awards assembly and then hand out yearbooks at the end. Our yearbooks always have a theme and the people in charge do a little skit at the end of the assembly. Our theme this year is fairy tales, thus the unicorn costume (our mascot isn't a rainbow unicorn lol). I'm editor in chief so I can't just back out, and the other people involved are really excited about the skit, so I'd hurt their feelings if I told them how stupid I think it is. I ended up trying to get out of it by telling them I couldn't make it to the rehearsal, but they just switched my part to the narrator. Not quite what I was hoping for, but at least I don't have to do anything embarrassing.

You guys' comments made me laugh, and for all the people who said they would love to dress up as a unicorn, to each their own I guess!

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Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

#21151561
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (8911)

On 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm - animals - by PsychoBillyGoat - United States (Alaska)

PsychoBillyGoat's comment about their FML

My wife was worried about the cat because he is elderly and needs meds every 12 hours. He also has no claws ( we got him that way). He has never been outside before but lately he has been trying to get out. Also we live in Alaska, more to worry about then cars and dogs getting him

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Today, five minutes before closing, a woman came in to buy over $300 worth of clothing from the sales rack. My manager and I had to ring it all up, de-sensor it, fold it, bag it, etc. After it was all rung up, her credit card was declined. FML

#21148758
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48967) - you deserved it (4205)

On 05/22/2014 at 10:32pm - work - by IntoTheClouds (man) - United States (Vermont)

IntoTheClouds's comment about their FML

So I couldn't fit the whole story into the FML, but we actually didn't have to re-stock everything (and for the record, there was a huge sale going on, so she got, like, fifty shirts). Her credit card got declined. She then tried writing a check, but her check was apparently declined (my manager had taken over the register at that point). She spent ten minutes calling her friends, who were in the mall, to get them to come and help, but none of them came, and then she tried another credit card she had, and finally it went through. It was extremely frustrating, because my manager and I missed the bus, which we needed to get home.

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Today, a customer left a Starbucks card in the tip jar at work. It was empty. I work at Starbucks. FML

#21148667
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36886) - you deserved it (3978)

On 05/22/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by ashlan - United States

ashlan's comment about their FML

Yes we get tips. It adds an extra few dollars an hour. Why wouldn't we get tips? We provide a service.

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Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62614) - you deserved it (5558)

On 05/19/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by thepixies842 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

thepixies842's comment about their FML

McDonalds.. let the puns roll:)

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Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

#21144366
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51081) - you deserved it (7136)

On 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm - kids - by BekkyLove15 - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

BekkyLove15's comment about their FML

Nope! He ripped the tweeds down before I even had a chance to get up and get to the other side of the table. He definitely knows the difference between right and wrong, and was spoken to VERY sternly when back in the car. Of course, the talking to May have been more successful if my 81 year old grandmother wasn't laughing so hard.

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Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

#21144323
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36952) - you deserved it (5639)

On 05/18/2014 at 7:35pm - animals - by LyraAlluse (woman) - United States (Arizona)

LyraAlluse's comment about their FML

He got stuck in one of those oddly shaped bathroom trashcans. And it was his tail end that got stuck, so he was sticking out of the trashcan like a jack-in-the-box. Because the can was oddly shaped it was hard to figure out how to get the cat free and make it as humane as possible. Also, the cat kept trying to roll around in the trash can because he thought it would help. My cat isn't the brightest crayon in the package but he is pretty funny.

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Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

#21141103
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54694) - you deserved it (5241)

On 05/15/2014 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by salmone - Australia (Victoria)

salmone's comment about their FML

Follow Up: it is a national test, so he couldn't go to the bathroom, and I couldn't disrupt the test by speaking. I stood nearby and cleared my throat loudly, that seemed to work, and he emerged from his jumper (sweater) fairly quickly. I would say given that all he wrote on the test was his name, he probably did not do very well.
Finally, there are some very nasty, judgemental people on here. Perhaps you should try to live a little more kindly and gently.

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Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

#21140503
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66705) - you deserved it (8386)

On 05/15/2014 at 9:03am - intimacy - by GimmeLaCoffee (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

GimmeLaCoffee's comment about their FML

First off, yeah I was a bit pissed (cause, well, I was pretty excited..) but we do prank each other all the time so I'm laughing about it. Don't worry, I'll get my revenge!

Also, its not because she is jealous/into me- like I said, we prank each other, and as for my roommate being in her underwear thats not unusual, we both do it and she is very free with her body. Personally I think its great she is so confident, which I respect (since it's made bloody hard for women these days).

As for the lot of you who were like 'fuck her, she owes you' thats kinda sick. You don't 'owe' someone sex for anything, especially not a prank. However she really can't complain if I scare off her next date!

Revenge prank ideas are welcome, I'm thinking chilli in her cereal for starters..

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Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (10541)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

thanks4support's comment about their FML

OP here, first off I am not overweight, just gained about ten pounds shortly out of nowhere. Thank you to all of those who did have health concerns I am looking into all that.

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Today, my son gave me some flowers for Mother's Day. Unfortunately, the only time I can enjoy them is when I go into the bathroom where they are kept so the cat doesn't eat them. FML

#21137189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36081) - you deserved it (5751)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:27pm - kids - by darquedraconian - United States (South Dakota)

darquedraconian's comment about their FML

OP here. Just to clarify--my son has ADHD and went out to the field by our house to pick the flowers, so I'm pretty sure that the reason the cat tried to eat them is because he's an indoor cat was trying to see if it was edible. I'm truly blessed to have such a wonderful son!

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Today, some thieves broke into my church and stole our cameras, monitors, and some other hardware. We were planning to use them for the security system we were about to install. FML

#21136316
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39582) - you deserved it (5646)

On 05/11/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by cakefete2 (man) - United States (California)

cakefete2's comment about their FML

I can't speak for the finances of every church, but at my church we are not flush with cash in the way a mega church might be. We are called to be stewards of the property God had given us and to this end, we asked people to dig deep that we could fill the need that was evident. Sadly, after the sacrifices that were made, we can't help but be hurt. Still, Christians are versed in hardship and overcoming adversity. We will pray for the thief, ask healing for the church, and seek blessings to continue to meet the needs of the community.

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Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

#21136222
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46900) - you deserved it (3300)

On 05/11/2014 at 12:13am - work - by ktmla - United States (Florida)

ktmla's comment about their FML

OP here. To those of you who referred to me as "he"... I'm a girl :) I work at Hollister and the jacket is actually one my friend from Georgia gave me. It's his school jacket so I'm not sure why she wanted it.
#1 Damn straight.
#2 We don't but I'll make sure to put it in the suggestion box :-)
#3 I was worried she would try to jack it (get it)...
#18 I would've assumed the same thing had it not be from a school in a different state.
#24 It's one of those things where it's only nice to me for sentimental reasons haha. Thanks though.
#28 Although that is often true my manager is really cool so after the whole thing was over I was able to explain exactly what happened and I didn't get in trouble.
#44 Thank you for your novel :-) you rock.
#48/71 (and anyone's else who wanted clarification): I know your comment was buried but actually we do have that exact rule. We aren't allowed to have any personal items visible except for the clothes/accessories we are wearing (which are required to be from the store as part of the dress code). My jacket was actually behind the counter in a place not visible to customers and had she not been walking behind the counter (against the rules btw) to get to the dressing rooms she never would've seen it. I just couldn't include that in the 300 character fml.
#64 I'm guessing that was a joke :) But if you were serious then if you are ever working in retail don't do anything like that unless you want to get fired.
#67 More than you know.
#74 Nah, she was just a bitch.
#73 By fill pup I'm assuming you mean follow up. But you're right some people can really be jerks sometimes!
#88 Exactly.
#66 Obviously (not a) Product
#83 The only place I told her to go was hell.. Wow, just kidding, that was dramatic of me. But no it was a school jacket.
#84 I'm sorry that sucks..

Sorry this is so long I wanted to try to reply to as many people as possible.
-Katie

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