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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, during an important exam, I had a huge panic attack and had to run out of the exam hall. Everyone saw me, and now everywhere I go, people keep pretending to have a panic attack and run away from me. I have to spend two more years with these assholes. FML

#21058889
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47458) - you deserved it (6798)

On 02/13/2014 at 6:54am - health - by mrosewrosem (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

mrosewrosem's comment about their FML

Hey guys, this was actually me before I signed up for an account. Thanks for all the supportive messages, you guys rock! You're right, anxiety is a bitch! All those who said YDI, no-one deserves anxiety or any other mental disorder... just like no-one deserves any illness eg. cancer.

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Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

#21058160
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54377) - you deserved it (12518)

On 02/12/2014 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by aireeahna (woman) - United States (Iowa)

aireeahna's comment about their FML

i didnt have an account at the time this was posted but anyway..we were rough housing and he was sorry afterwards. I have a lose jaw from a prior accident so it pops out of place fairly easy so it wasnt a big deal. We didnt break up for those of you who suggested that we should have..everything is fine now thanks

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Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

#21056381
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43865) - you deserved it (5204)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

elizabethkalyn's comment about their FML

Couple of things. I couldn't have unlocked both, as the doors swing shut and relock as soon as you let them go. The customer was a natural born woman who looked and sounded a lot like a male. When they asked why I opened the men's, I just told them the women's was occupied. I have never made the mistake before and it was mortifying. She luckily was very cool about it:) also, both restrooms use the same key.

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Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

#21056152
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39782) - you deserved it (7197)

On 02/10/2014 at 9:12am - animals - by Ashlynnlove - United States

Ashlynnlove's comment about their FML

I said FML because I feel horrible. And of course I took my cat to the vet. She is fine. No internal bleeding, no punctured lung, no limping. The vet said there was no damage and to be more careful. Trust me, I won't leave the bathroom door cracked open anymore. Just an update.

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Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

#21055825
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38348) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/09/2014 at 10:22pm - animals - by ZombiexIce (woman) - United States (California)

ZombiexIce's comment about their FML

Hey, this is the OP. I have owned rats and mice as pets, but with a wild one you really don't want them running loose around a toddler.

As for getting a cat, I have been trying to get a kitten for my son, but our landlord wants a huge deposit.

We are buying a humane trap and letting him go somewhere far away. We have temporarily plugged the hole he was using to get in until payday.

My husband was jokingly threatening. He is just a big softie sometimes. :)

We got a good laugh out of this, before I realized it was a mouse I ran screaming out of the bathroom
with my pants around my knees.

Glad everyone got a laugh out of this, we did!

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Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

#21055070
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41119) - you deserved it (6578)

On 02/09/2014 at 1:44am - kids - by sierraleeannee - United States

sierraleeannee's comment about their FML

OP here. I can't believe this got posted before I went to bed! Hahaha! For some reason this got edited out, but he ended up smacking me in the face after he bit me. He's 9 months old so he thinks it's hilarious obviously. And I'm not sure why it didn't show my name, I posted it while logged in. And as for the person who said time for bottle feeding, he won't take a bottle, which is fine with me! He's teething so he tends to bite more when he is. Glad to know my son has made people laugh :)

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Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

#21052354
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (6517)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:23pm - health - by Nikia818 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Nikia818's comment about their FML

Thank you all so much! To clarify, I wasn't naked. I had a tank top on. I'm only kidding about worrying about getting laid. I'm studying to get into med school, so I really don't get laid in real life. But it doesn't bother me. I let the hot pocket sit and it was the perfect temperature until that bite...which was at the very end...
I do have a nickel-sized pink scar and it blistered a little bit, but nothing major. All in all, I now know that the filling of a hpt pocket is hotter than the fiery pits of Hell.

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Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

#21052299
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42788) - you deserved it (7744)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Delanto - United States

Delanto's comment about their FML

Oh, trust me...the teen wasn't the owner. He didn't even look at me after the car rolled away, he just jogged off. The car luckily jumped a curb down the road and was stopped by a tree. I did phone the sheriff's department, the deputy took my info and the description of the teen. Haven't heard anything else about it nor did I see the owner (luckily).

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Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (13114)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

tigerisabelle's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here.
I did not know how damaging Flappy Bird was to the brain until my friend convinced me to play it, and it's been a downhill road ever since. I literally smashed into the first pipe 40 times in a row, and got more frustrated every time. So I'm supposed to count to ten when I'm feeling "irrational rage" but instead, I just pressed start. (oops...) I threw my phone through a window. The phone is shockingly okay, except it still has Flappy Satan. Yeah, that game is straight from the depths of hell.

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Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML

#21051132
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (11129)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:26am - love - by chiahuahualove - Australia (Queensland)

chiahuahualove's comment about their FML

Hey there OP here!

Firstly thank you to the lovely people with kind messages !

Secondly here's the full story... that password is only needed to log into my bank on a computer, since I always use my phone that wasn't needed for months and completely forgot about it ... Until I needed it.

So hence why I haven't changed it ... I didn't need it for 3 months!

To those "Lovely keyboard warriors" ( sarcasm)
Let me remind you, you are on FML, a space for laughter and face palming ... Not a self help website and your "Advice" isn't requested nor needed

Thanks again too all you lovelies ! It's hard when you thought you would marry him and then need to realign your life with current reality...
Peace and love
OP

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Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

#21049950
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41220) - you deserved it (11187)

On 02/04/2014 at 12:18am - misc - by Merith2004 (man) - United States (Texas)

Merith2004's comment about their FML

hey everyone. thanks for being understanding for the most part. this was just one of the "I wasnt thinking" kind of things. dont worry though: I got several slaps on the back of then head from cousins who were in earshot.

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Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

#21049259
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40284) - you deserved it (4865)

On 02/03/2014 at 12:34pm - kids - by pinknicki87 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

pinknicki87's comment about their FML

OP here. Thank you so much for all your kind and supportive words. I seem to be emotional over everything lately. Thank goodness I have such a supportive husband. I know everything happens for a reason, and we will find the perfect crib. Obviously that one wasn't meant to be.

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Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

#21047933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46115) - you deserved it (3858)

On 02/02/2014 at 6:32am - love - by itwasalongnight -

itwasalongnight's comment about their FML

OP here. First of all: Yay! It got published! Second to those who say I deserve it or should move: I own my condo, so not able to move at this point. I do not live in a flood zone or swamp. Both floods have been sewage backups from blockages at least 150 feet from my condo. The one 10 months ago happened while I was at work--that was a disaster. This time my neighbors flooded (badly) on both sides. Water from one neighbor came under our shared wall. Not too bad this time and I was able to get the clean out cap off outside right away so it flowed into my backyard instead of my house. Truly an awful experience to be sure. I thank my lucky stars that I opted to cancel my plans and stay home and watch a movie... Otherwise it would have been at least as bad as last time. I'll admit... I'm afraid to put that clean clean out cap back on!

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