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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

#20950437
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46241) - you deserved it (3306)

On 11/08/2013 at 4:17pm - health - by JayDNut (man) - United Kingdom (Florida)

JayDNut's comment about their FML

OP here.

The argument was over where we'd spend Christmas (her family or mine) and I was adamant we'd spend it at mine after spending the previous at hers. No bones were broken (am missing a tooth, however) although I'm a maze of bruises and swelling. We're no longer together now.

Thanks for all the supporting messages!

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Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

#20949697
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (60784)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

cricketsins's comment about their FML

Let me give some details before the blasting gets too bad: "beating" was an exaggeration. I was not literally bludgeoning him with a block of cheese. I'm sure that somewhere, someone has done this. That person was not me.

It all started because he and I were picking up a few items and he just *happened* to lead me to the cheese aisle in the deli. I love cheese; he knows this and was teasing me. So, one poke led to a pinch, and all of a sudden my cheese-rage took hold and I was swatting him with a block of cheese. It was all in good fun. We are always joking and wrestling around. While we have both seriously hurt one another while wrestling, it's always an accident.

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Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

#20946425
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34173) - you deserved it (6566)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:04pm - work - by RidingCJ - Canada (Quebec)

RidingCJ's comment about their FML

OP here. First of all we are not telemarketers because we are not selling anything. Telemarketers are the ones who will not let you go and force you to buy things over the phone. Second of all, yeah I know those calls are annoying. We are all aware of that. Do you think we really like to do this?! I'm a full time college student and this is the only job that fits my schedule. Whenever a telemarketer or interviewer calls you, just say I'm NOT INTERESTED PLEASE TAKE MY NAME OFF YOUR LIST. and we won't call you again. It's simple. And please, no need to be rude.

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Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

#20946038
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (4444)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by davincidasecond - United States (New Jersey)

davincidasecond's comment about their FML

This is OP. So to clear things up, neither of us really got into to much trouble, we just got off with a warning. The argument started off with the buttermilk issue and then touched on other personal issues (that I won't disclose), which is why the argument got so heated. One thing led to another, I shoved him, he punched me, i retaliated, etc. and soon enough the cops knocked on our door because neighbors called about a noise disturbance, not because we started to get physical. We usually butt heads about stupid things but this is the only time it got so bad. I take 100% responsibility for what I did, yes, it was stupid, and I completely deserve it. He and I apologized to each other and put it behind us, even though I'm annoyed at the busted lip he gave me, lol.

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Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46268) - you deserved it (5078)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

WinkleBottom's comment about their FML

Breath or body odor isn't the issue. I'm just a quiet kid in a room of loud ones. I guess I'm boring, eh? Also, no, I do not stick my penis in fish tacos.

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Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

#20943322
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41597) - you deserved it (2499)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:59am - health - by cooney7 (man) - United Kingdom

cooney7's comment about their FML

My allergy is known to both me and the family and my epipen was on hand as it always is.

I never knew that the food contained ingredients I am allergic and as I said, my throat started to close and I was struggling to breathe. The reason wasn't because they're laughing at me or anything like that, 'my face was a great shade of red for the company logo'. They did help me eventually by injecting me. Weird story, I know, but my family have a track record of being idiots.

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Today, after being forced to take my little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML

#20942117
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44630) - you deserved it (2743)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:50am - kids - by PumaPounce (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

PumaPounce's comment about their FML

I had no idea she was doing this! My mom blamed me for not watching her closer. I thought she would know better since she's 14. Were both grounded though.

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Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

#20941092
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41857) - you deserved it (3446)

On 11/01/2013 at 4:56am - kids - by Gtca - United States (Texas)

Gtca's comment about their FML

OP here! A lot of these comments are hilarious! Thanks for that and for those that showed us some support and sympathy. We started trick or treating at 5:15. Apparently trick or treating kicks up in our neighborhood around 6/6:30. Now I know. When I went trick or treating when I was younger, everyone started around 4 and people were prepared. Besides, how hard is it put some candy in a bowl? Also, some people commented about why a 2.5 year old needs candy, he doesn't, but we went for the experience. Luckily, we rebounded and had a fun Halloween after that incident.

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Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36309) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

bobosgonnagetyou's comment about their FML

Hey FML, OP here! I created an account so I could answer some of your questions. First off, I live in Oregon. Secondly, I thought it was hilarious, although a tad creepy at times, but I just let her do her thing and didn't try to stop her. Most people thought it was great and took it really well. She had a blast doing it, and was simply pulling a prank, which is what Halloween is all about! :)

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Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

#20940711
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (3728)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:16pm - health - by Blaphlafagus - United States (Texas)

Blaphlafagus's comment about their FML

Kinda awkward that I play the saxophone as my main instrument... Ok story time, so I was sitting there in my Music Theory class just messing around because it was near the end of the period and one of my friends brought this instrument thing called a Jew's Harp or Jaw Harp. They said it plays by vibrating your teeth or something so, not thinking clearly, put it directly against my teeth and pulled the thing back really far and let it loose. I have no clue what I was thinking at the time. Luckily I'll go to the dentist on Monday and get it all nice and pretty again.

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Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

#20938877
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (5796)

On 10/30/2013 at 6:41am - misc - by neonstarr - New Zealand

neonstarr's comment about their FML

Op here. Surprised this got posted.

Sorry to burst some the bubbles but I'm not an alcoholic, I stopped drinking because of medical reasons, turns out I have gluten intolerance which caused damage to my gut, and by association killed my stomach lining and throat. Wasn't pleasant.
Also I'm a chick.

And since I'm better, I was weighing out pros and cons at 330am.

If I ever do have a drinking problem
Ill use some of the advice :)

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Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

#20938765
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43580) - you deserved it (6856)

On 10/30/2013 at 1:48am - kids - by catfan (woman) - United States (California)

catfan's comment about their FML

Hi this is OP. First off, my daughter is not pregnant. She has been going to school sex ed classes since she was 11, apparently they don't explain how someone gets pregnant in enough detail. She told me she's a virgin, though she thought she wasn't because she was "having sex" with the showerhead. Apparently one of her friends had told her masturbation counts as sex.

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Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

#20937756
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44372) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/29/2013 at 9:23am - work - by abcdefghijkl1233 (man) - United Kingdom (Oldham)

abcdefghijkl1233's comment about their FML

Thank you for those of you who left kind comments, those of you who left comments of the other kind probably don't understand. I didn't fully expect my stutter to get in the way of the interview so much, but combined with my nervousness it gradually got worse throughout. After the way I was treated I realised it wasn't a place I would want to be at so I left without a fight.

Also I'd like to thank you for the help methods some of you said, I've been trying to improve it and I'm definitely going to try them, thanks again :)

In the future I will inform them beforehand!

#8 Aha, good ol' game of Pictionary, never fails to start arguments!

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