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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

#21084640
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46870) - you deserved it (10739)

On 03/12/2014 at 3:44am - intimacy - by tayymeds (woman) - United States (California)

tayymeds's comment about their FML

So yes, I agree that I completely deserve it because I won't be blunt with him. I just don't want him to get insecure about it, like he has with other intimate things. I drop hints by not showing response when he starts to act like I'm a chew toy, but it doesn't work. I have however, brought up the idea of watching movies with him, he's agreed to it, so maybe I'll lightly drop the bomb there....
But all in all, he's a great man and an exceptional lover--just not with that one bit of foreplay.
Thanks for the laughs and opinions!

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Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41644) - you deserved it (8321)

On 03/09/2014 at 11:07pm - misc - by SpilledWater93 (man) - Ireland (Wicklow)

SpilledWater93's comment about their FML

To those of you who are American, please stop apologising and feeling bad, I actually found that lady and her friends quite amusing so they made my day. And what's more the story got published on here, that's more exciting than a pot of gold any day

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Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML

#21080638
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (4034)

On 03/07/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by gracehi (woman) - United States (Florida)

gracehi's comment about their FML

Thank you, but I wasn't brave. There's a tall picket fence and some trees obscuring the view of my apartment from the school. I can only see the school parking lot because I'm on the second story. The only reason someone would be able to see me from there would be if they were looking for me. I would have been quite safe, even if there had been any real danger. If there really was some lunatic shooting up the school, at the very least I would have called the cops. I'd like to think I would also grab my gun, head over there, and try to shoot the mother fucker myself, but you never really know what you'll do in a situation like that until it happens.

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Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

#21080173
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (4908)

On 03/06/2014 at 11:24pm - kids - by xtinasky1 - United States (Washington)

xtinasky1's comment about their FML

Apparently mommy can't go to the bathroom, because that's where I was for a whole 2 minutes while he did it.

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Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

#21079170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23567) - you deserved it (49649)

On 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by Catuser - United States (Virginia)

Catuser's comment about their FML

This is the follow up:
My teacher did laugh it off but sternly told me to never do it again or I will be suspended from her class. Thanks for publishing my first FML!

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Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

#21079116
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36830) - you deserved it (6261)

On 03/05/2014 at 8:59pm - misc - by Silver_Jet - Canada (Ontario)

Silver_Jet's comment about their FML

Op here. Got an account to commentnt on this. No I am not on drugs. I know this spider is real because I killed it and I am not sure if I have schizophrenia.

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Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

#21078911
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43642) - you deserved it (3799)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:47pm - money - by v1k1rox (woman) - United States (California)

v1k1rox's comment about their FML

This is the second time someone tried to rob me well living in NYC you know things like that happen. I didn't notice until after she pushed me that something was fishy. She tried to go into my bag first then into my pocket when she discovered there was nothing in my bag. She failed, I wish she didn't run away so I can get her arrested.

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Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39854) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

mr1234's comment about their FML

Thanks for the support and encouragement everyone, it's nice to know that I wasn't totally degraded for something that's been extremely frustrating. I'm very lucky the currently have a full time job (A supervisory position, at 24, as a woman!). And for those wondering, my field is business administration. i have a Bachelor's degree and plenty of legitimate work experience, just not experience that is directly related to what they want. so *whoosh* in the trash goes my resume!

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Today, my mum begged me to let her put fake nails on me to practice for her styling exam. I've been sitting on the toilet for the past half an hour trying to figure out how to wipe without damaging something. FML

#21078688
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39039) - you deserved it (5554)

On 03/05/2014 at 11:11am - health - by Mojo0608 (woman) - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)

Mojo0608's comment about their FML

So I've never really been one for fake nails and I used to play the violin so I kept them as short as possible which is a habit I've kept. They aren't that long really (nowhere near claw length), so when my mum asked I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Um, yeah... No...

I'm still on the toilet...
Well not really, but I'm going to try getting these off as soon as I can, they're just weird to me.

I think my mother will "nail" the exam, thanks for the puns and sympathy! :)

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Today, my fiancé and I told my future mother-in-law that we are expecting. Her response was, "Why are you doing this to me?" FML

#21078559
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38801) - you deserved it (4235)

On 03/05/2014 at 5:15am - misc - by dyingangel246 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

dyingangel246's comment about their FML

Hi everyone, OP here. I'd like to start by saying that the few of you who said she doesn't like me, you are probably right. When my fiance and I got engaged she didn't want to tell her family, to this day 2 years later I don't know who does and doesn't know.
I believe she doesn't want to accept the fact that her 27, almost 28 year old son is getting married and starting a family. I myself am 26. My family on the other hand is super excited.
She has stated a couple times that she is in no position to support us once the baby gets here. My fiance works 45+ hours a week at a very good job so we will be fine. We tried telling her that we won't need her support financially and she doesn't believe us. We live somewhere there is enough room to raise a child. Also my insurance will cover all of our hospital and Dr bills.
My fiance and I have been together for over 5 years and living together for almost 3. We both love each other very much and are excited about the life we created. I figure if that's how she wants to act then oh well it's her loss!
Sorry that was so long!

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Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML

#21077714
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35405) - you deserved it (8723)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:39am - work - by kenzamee - United States (Oregon)

kenzamee's comment about their FML

I called them back! It was just a funny and embarrassing mistake. Interview next week!

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Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

#21076584
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (9214)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:43am - animals - by FMLkoala - Australia (New South Wales)

FMLkoala's comment about their FML

Hi op here, for all of you guys telling me to use flea medicines and all that, I have tried everything and they don't seem to come off and it really "bugs" me. It all happened after I got a dog so yea I'll keep on trying. On the bright side they are happy dreams.

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Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

#21076221
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33385) - you deserved it (17261)

On 03/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by kitty91 (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

kitty91's comment about their FML

Why does everyone just assume we're not close friends? She's actually one of my best friends. I hadn't seen her in a while because I was out of the country and I knew she would be ok with me rubbing her belly because with her first pregnancy she always wanted me to touch her belly. It would've been awkward if she hadn't burst out laughing. We ended laughing so hard at my stupidity that we cried.

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