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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

#21296590
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (4636)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:07pm - misc - by Ltsdragons - United States (Idaho)

Ltsdragons's comment about their FML

OP here, I do turn the TV on too sometimes just for the noise and to pretend that there's a miniature party going on in the room next to me and I just can't see the people or whatever. It's actually not that bad. My parents are very busy people so they aren't home most of the time, and my girlfriend generally is volunteering at all these places. So I have a lot of time to be alone and do nothing xD

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Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML

#21294951
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/08/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by Ergon_Talfo - Canada (Ontario)

Ergon_Talfo's comment about their FML

I knocked on the door again and she yelled for me to go away saying she didn't want to buy anything. At this point I understood what was going on. As it turns out, for the past couple days she's been getting salesmen knock on her door and try to sell her something. We talked it out and is clarified that I was actually her new neighbour an not someone trying to sell her something. In the end everything turned out alright and she actually brought me fresh baked cookies later on. They were good. Anyways just wanted to clear up that it was a misunderstanding and she didn't mean any harm.

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Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML

#21294697
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39649) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:37pm - health - by katnl21 (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

katnl21's comment about their FML

It was really offensive for her to say something like that. My mom and grandfather and boyfriend were in the room too, which made it even more humiliating. I didn't know what to say, I was in shock. My boyfriend led her out of the room, so the visit ended right then and there. I haven't seen or spoken to her since, and she hasn't seen her grand child either. I'm still working on an awesome comeback speech, I'm open to suggestions!

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Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

#21293868
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38411) - you deserved it (3995)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:26am - kids - by hellalegit - United States (California)

hellalegit's comment about their FML

OP here :) So just a little background: I was in fact using spray cans of paint so I was doing it in the driveway because I didn't want to damage the grass in my backyard. The little kid comes over when I turn my back for two seconds and annihilates it. His mom just laughed when I told her ugh :( Fortunately, although the project was due today, I got an extension from my super cool teacher :)

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Today, I threw out my back while trying to put together my new ergonomic chair, which was supposed to help my bad back. FML

#21293531
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30418) - you deserved it (3027)

On 11/06/2014 at 5:11pm - health - by ShenaniganNinja (man) - United States (Washington)

ShenaniganNinja's comment about their FML

Hey guys. OP here. Everyone's asking if I finished the chair. I did, but not for several hours. My old chair I was using was barely functional and leaned to one side causing me a lot of pain. I casually mentioned that my back hurt to my boss. The next day when I came into the office I found a box with a new chair was waiting at my desk. Since I am the sole employee of this business and was alone, I had to put it together myself. I threw out my back lifting up one of the parts of the chair. It wasn't even heavy, it was just awkward removing it from the box. My boss was running late and came into work 2 hours later to find me laying on the floor with the half constructed chair next to me. I'm doing okay now. The chair is actually helping.

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Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (3368)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

highheelcyanide's comment about their FML

First of all, I am so excited that this got posted! Almost makes dating the jerk worth it! Also, all the comments are hilarious. To answer some questions, no, I most definitely am not pregnant. There wasn't even a scare. On the backstory, he wasn't *technically* my boyfriend, but we had been dating and things were going really great. He did all the right things and we had a great connection (or so I thought). So after a while we slept together, and enjoyment was had on both sides. Nothing seemed off for a few days, and then he gradually quit texting me and I never saw him again after that night. Live and learn, I suppose.

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Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

#21292877
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31227) - you deserved it (2839)

On 11/05/2014 at 6:42pm - health - by ArmyIT (man) - Korea, Republic of

ArmyIT's comment about their FML

It's not like it's something I just decided was a symtom. It was my psychiatrists opinion/word that it was. They now want me to do further testing. its just disheartening to know that I could lose my job over this.

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Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

#21292635
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (3062)

On 11/05/2014 at 10:58am - animals - by misfitunfit - United States

misfitunfit's comment about their FML

He's usually such a sweet cat! I have no idea if I scared him or what :/ Still hurts!

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Today, my sweet tooth went to a whole different level when I took a swig out of a bottle of maple syrup. FML

#21291828
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (11091)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:48am - misc - by TonyTalkingClock (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

TonyTalkingClock's comment about their FML

OP here. First off, I would like to thank you all for not only putting my FML on here, but also giving me all this feedback! I felt like I would answer some questions.

2 - Note to self: Will try.

8, and several others - I actually do have some French Canadian heritage, but I was born and raised here in the North Shore of Massachusetts.

36 - It's real maple.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! If you're wondering, it tasted like maple syrup.

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Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

#21291418
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32390) - you deserved it (4647)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm - misc - by Isa_Marie0113 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Isa_Marie0113's comment about their FML

Hey guys! I wrote that FML. Yep, wasn't one of my best moments, but it's something we can laugh at now especially since he's usually the one that's gassy! Thanks for reading it and I hope you all had a good laugh too! (I would just like to add that I'm about to click "Spill the beans!" and I'm dying over the irony.)

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Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

#21290744
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (4273)

On 11/02/2014 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by boobear511 - United States (California)

boobear511's comment about their FML

The cat was outside the door, wanting to get in.

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Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

#21288116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34992) - you deserved it (2303)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm - misc - by thealaskanyoung - United States (Indiana)

thealaskanyoung's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here. Let me get this straight: my mother is not abusive. She just has a sense of humor! The lady who called was just taken aback for a second before my mom clarified. She's just a character, in no way abusive. Y'all are ridiculous.

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Today, my friend drove up a parking lot and I unbuckled my seatbelt as soon as we were parked. He then suddenly saw a better spot right in front and moved his car. When I got out, a police officer approached me, saying I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was fined for that. FML

#21286130
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32132) - you deserved it (4277)

On 10/27/2014 at 4:04am - misc - by TinyBouvier (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

TinyBouvier's comment about their FML

My friend parked between two other cars and as I was about to get out of the car, he said, "hold on, I'm gonna move to that spot", since he noticed the parking spot in front of him had more room. So he slowly drove forward for a few meters and then we were parked again. It was such a small distance and at such low speed that I didn't bother to buckle up again.
Unfortunately for me, the police officer who saw me in those five seconds where I wasn't wearing the seatbelt, didn't believe me when I tried to explain that I had just unbuckled my seatbelt moments before we moved to that parking spot. He was firmly convinced that I wasn't wearing my seatbelt the whole time and gave me a fine of 110€... That's roughly 139$.
I fear I won't be able to fight this ticket. After a quick search on Google, I found out that in Belgium the parking lot of a store is also considered a "public road". Ridiculous.

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