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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I opened up to my boyfriend about being sexually abused in the past. He said it explains why I'm "such a bitch" when it comes to personal contact. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (2143)

On 10/15/2015 at 12:16pm - love - by btoker (woman) - United States (New York)

btoker's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here. He is my ex now, because I decided that his aggressive undertones means I might be in for a repeat. He is pretty aggressive in general, and this is one of a few examples so its probably best to move on before its too late. I'm 22 years old and was abused at 16, so he doesn't understand how I couldn't be over it by now. I'm currently looking for other places to live because we live together. Thank you all for the positive support, I am going to try to get myself into a better situation as fast as I can.

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Today, my brother slapped me across the face with a piece of raw chicken for not liking his Instagram post. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24005) - you deserved it (4131)

On 10/11/2015 at 1:59pm - health - by shavednipples - United States (California)

shavednipples's comment about their FML

Hey y'all! Just to clarify, my brother is the same age as me (we're twins). When I told him I wasn't going to like his post (it was just a video of a fireworks show), he took a chicken breast and slapped me. We were preparing chicken for dinner that night, so it was already out and thawed. I did end up getting salmonella, however, I'm not sure if it was from the slap or from eating the chicken itself at dinner. Either way, it was shitty.

Also, about my username, I use it for a lot of social media accounts and I've had this account for a while. I know if you don't have an account, you can choose a name to post it under and it usually has to do with the post, but that wasn't the case here.


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Today, I got banned from a suicide prevention forum for "attention seeking." FML


I agree, your life sucks (24409) - you deserved it (3352)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm - misc - by isellorangez - United States (Pennsylvania)

isellorangez's comment about their FML

Hey, I'm the op and this is my first fml so I hope I'm doing this right. I thought I should say a few things based on some of the comments I read. No, I was not just being an asshat to everyone, I just posted a thread explaining myself and such. Shortly after I posted it I got banned for "attention seeking" and that's all the information I was given. Oh and all the people saying "fucking emo" and such, I guess I look like the stereotypical emo, but seriously you could be a bit more mature about things.

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Today, I felt confident after a maths exam and thought I did rather well. When discussing the exam with my class mates afterwards, they kept talking about how difficult question 10 was. I only did 9 questions. Apparently the exam paper had a backside. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21727) - you deserved it (11198)

On 10/06/2015 at 9:26pm - misc - by ceciliebossow - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

ceciliebossow's comment about their FML

OP here! Wow! I didn't really expect this to be posted, but cool that it did! I thought I might explain myself a little (although it does not make this less stupid).

This actually occurred a few months ago on a final exam that was marked by an outside examiner. Thankfully the final grade also took another exam and an assignment into account, so I still got the final grade that I had expected (and actually completing the question is unlikely to have improved the grade).

Before the exam started, we had five minutes to read through the questions, and I only got to read until question 9, so when completing the questions afterwards, I completely forgot to check the backside of the examination booklet (where question 10 was located).

I know it was my own fault, but I am always really nervous - almost panick-y - when it comes to exams. I felt absolutely terrible afterwards, when I realised my mistake, but there was not much to do, as the exam was over by then. Thankfully it all turned out alright anyway.

Thank you for all your feedback! I have been reading through all the comments and I appreciate what you have to say - even when you say "YDI", because I know I do. It was not very clever of me ;-)

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Today, I decided to hang my $200 cocktail dress outside for faster drying after hand washing it. I learned that it dries much faster when torn into several pieces, courtesy a stray dog that randomly appeared at my house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (4893)

On 10/05/2015 at 11:40am - animals - by Shanarie - United States

Shanarie's comment about their FML

OP here. I made an account just to respond to you guys! I live in the country, so I figured making a small clothes line for just my dress wouldn't be a problem.I guess it was just bad timing.The dog was an abandoned pet that was malnourished. Im a shelter volunteer, so we took him to a good home. :)

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Today, several coworkers think the operation scar on my wrist is really a failed suicide attempt, because I study design and apparently, "Artists are suicidal, right?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (1623)

On 10/05/2015 at 4:31am - work - by cocacola999 (woman) - United Kingdom

cocacola999's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here. Great to see this published!
A follow-up to what many pointed out - they did not actually ask me directly. Instead, they asked one of my friends "What's with her scar?". She already knew me during the accident and operation, so she said that it was an operation scar. However, the others started asking "Are you sure? Maybe it's a cover-up?" etc. The operation was less than a year ago, so I hope the scar will fade in time.
I don't really care about their opinion, nor do I think that there would be anything shameful about a suicide scar - I rather thought this kind of stupidity was at least good for an FML. Let them think however they like.

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Today, one of my coworkers tried to convince me to be a model for his "foot fetish parties". I politely declined, just as I had the day before, and the day before that. This will probably continue every day, since our schedules are nearly identical. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (1577)

On 10/04/2015 at 9:26pm - work - by kindasortayeah (woman) - United States (New York)

kindasortayeah's comment about their FML

No, he hasn't seen my feet. I found out he actually has asked nearly every person in the store because he hosts private foot fetish parties for clients. Part of me actually pities the man because he's just trying to make extra money, but I would never ever consider being part of those parties.

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Today, I discovered that spicy ground beef bits are the perfect size to become lodged in one's nasal cavity when vomited back up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (1760)

On 10/04/2015 at 2:11pm - health - by steam_engenius (woman) - United States (Nevada)

steam_engenius's comment about their FML

I didn't close my mouth while vomiting...The ground beef just kinda made it up there somehow.

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Today, thanks to the terrible carpool planning of one of my friends, I had the pleasure of driving both of my ex-boyfriends to homecoming. Neither one of them knew that I had dated the other, but they sure do now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (3732)

On 10/04/2015 at 1:51pm - love - by badplannning (woman) - United States (Illinois)

badplannning's comment about their FML

OP here. My friend only knew I had dated one of the guys, but admittedly made me drive with him on purpose just to screw with me (I also think she wants us to get back to together). Driving with both of them just happened to be some bad luck, and I didn't have a chance to tell my friend about the awkward situation until afterwards. As far as the guys go, I didn't cheat on either one; I just never discussed my relationship with the first guy when I dated the second guy. It overall wasn't THAT bad of a ride, just incredibly uncomfortable with lots of questions and some sarcastic comments from both of them. It was like something out of a sitcom honestly

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Today, I woke up in the elevator of my apartment building in the middle of the night, without my keys, phone, or shoes. Turns out I have been sleepwalking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (1616)

On 10/03/2015 at 7:01pm - health - by YumeWolf - Netherlands (Utrecht)

YumeWolf's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here.
Thanks for some of your funny comments, they made me laugh!

To answer some questions, no, I do not sleep commando, yes I had pants on and no I wasn't robbed.
I had a friend over, who stayed 'till pretty late (around 5 AM), so I was extremely exhausted. So exhausted that I fell asleep with my sweatpants still on, as I normally sleep without pants (so I was very lucky).

I woke up about 30 minutes later, in the elevator. I had locked myself out, naturally, but luckily my friend lives in the same apartment building as me, and she had a spare key. I'm glad she opened the door when I rang her bell at 5:45 in the morning.

I never had problems with sleepwalking before, and I haven't sleepwalked since. I hang my keys on the doorhandle every night, so that if I somehow manage to turn the lock and open the door, the keys will slide right off on top of my feet. That should wake me up if it ever happens again!

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Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML


I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (1939)

On 10/03/2015 at 6:59pm - animals - by FacePalmPower (woman) - United States

FacePalmPower's comment about their FML

Hey OP here! Yes, it was a very stupid move he made, but it WAS an accident! He got the mushroom confused with another which he thought was safe! Although I am very sad, I now have a strict "No feeding the rabbits!" rule! So my other 5 buns should be safe. He was also the rabbit my mother got me before she moved out of state for good so it's even sadder. And no I did not dump him, we've been together for 3 years and although I was pissed for a day or two, I forgave him because I know he wouldn't hurt my rabbits on purpose, he knows they are all like my little children! All of your comments cracked me up though so I'm glad I could get a laugh out of a sad situation. Thanks guys, you rock!

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Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute after I got into the front seat of an elderly man's car. The man was my grandfather, and he was taking me to a doctor's appointment, since I wasn't going to be allowed to drive home after it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (2041)

On 10/02/2015 at 3:08pm - misc - by Catlover234 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Catlover234's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here, I created an account to better explain what happened.

This actually happened a few months ago. I was at the beach with some friends and didn't have the time to change out of my swimsuit when my grandpa showed up. We only took one car and the beach wasn't very far away from my grandparent's house, so my grandpa agreed to pick me up from the beach and take to my eye doctor appointment. I couldn't drive home because I was getting drops in my eyes. Some very loud girls in their late teens/early twenties saw me get in the passenger seat, pointed at me and said "She's a hooker!" loud enough for me to hear. My grandpa's hard of hearing, so he didn't hear it. I was dressed in my swimsuit like pretty much everyone else on the beach. Everything else was in my beach bag.

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Today, after months of running up four flights of stairs to what I thought was the only male restroom in the building, I found another one. It's always been just around the corner from my desk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (9799)

On 10/01/2015 at 10:43am - work - by fleckney26 - United Kingdom

fleckney26's comment about their FML

OP here. All your comments have me in fits of laughter, and yes I do seem to have gained quite some leg muscle! For those asking why I hadn't seen the other toilets, it's because I thought the only thing around that corner was the post room, so I've never had a reason to go around there to find the other gents. Although I don't work in an office with all women, most are, and the issue of toilet placement has never come up when taking to the men. And before anyone else says about it, we do have lifts, but our boss gets annoyed at us if we used it.
Thanks for getting this posted!

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