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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

#21359736
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (2813)

On 02/20/2015 at 9:39am - love - by annie_xox (woman) - United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot)

annie_xox's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here! Believe me now, I gave him the dirtiest look and ended things there and then. He can have his "gorgeous" ex if he wants her so badly, just don't come crawling back to me, you dick!

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Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Even after several hours I wasn't able to climax. My girlfriend now thinks that I don't like her body, and the reason I couldn't orgasm is because I don't like having sex with her. We spend the rest of the night in silence. FML

#21359646
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (5140)

On 02/20/2015 at 2:40am - intimacy - by TheFreyzy (man) - Switzerland

TheFreyzy's comment about their FML

Hello everybody, here is your Afro OP.
First I want to say thank you for all the ones who gave me helpful advise, also this happened a while ago. I wanted to see what you guys write because I felt like I am doing something wrong. Thank you guys who wasn't trying to criticise my girlfriend. She did not throw a tantrum, nor was she mad. Some of you are right, she is insecure and that makes her silent. Well let me tell you guys what happened afterwards so I can calm you all down :) We had sex again and again and let me tell you I am less nervous but I am still not able to cum xD. She understands though it has nothing to do with me disliking her body, we had a calm discussion. Thank you again for everybody who was supportive, to be honest I was shy to post my first FML and I did not expect so many people to comment! I am excited for the next post I will make. Who knows what it will be. Afro is with you all!

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Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (2223)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Enslaved's comment about their FML

OP here! First off, when I called the number, a man answered. When I told him I found a phone,(an iPhone5c for those that are curious) he told me to "fuck off" and that I had the wrong number, then hung up on me. He called the phone back a few minutes later and I could hear him yelling to what I assumed was his wife/GF in the background. He was asking her if she went out shopping? and how dare she spend his money, plus lose her phone!

I did give the phone to the manager of the department store and told the man to pick it up there tomorrow if he wants it, since the store was already closed for the night. My heart is just uneasy because I know that my call caused what seems to be an argument between the lady that owns the phone and an irate man. I could tell he was very controlling and she was very afraid of him.

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Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

#21359094
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25912) - you deserved it (19449)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:29am - money - by kaailin - Australia (South Australia)

kaailin's comment about their FML

Hi guys, OP here. To clarify, it wasn't a drive through ATM, I walked back to the car before the money came out. Also to those asking how I managed to do such a careless thing - I had just had a stressful day at work on the closing shift so my mind wasn't with it. I'm lucky I have a loving family that can support me until my next pay day. And I hope I just hope the money ended up in hands that needed it more than myself.

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Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

#21358741
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (6998)

On 02/18/2015 at 10:14am - health - by Pleonasm (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Pleonasm's comment about their FML

I hold my mouse in an awkward position and my elbow floats in the air, putting the weight on the shoulder. If I play for too long, it aches.
But it started when I used a machine to work out and hurt my shoulder doing the butterfly press I think.

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Today, I went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. I'd planned for a nice restaurant which is always packed, so I'd called for a reservation. When we got there, the hostess tried to turn us down because no one ever takes their mother out to dinner anymore, and that I was a fraud. FML

#21357480
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31335) - you deserved it (1897)

On 02/16/2015 at 5:38pm - money - by jesterinperil - United States

jesterinperil's comment about their FML

OP here. We eventually got into the restaurant with our original reservations, after contacting management. My mother and I tried to not let the hostess spoil the night. The rest of the staff was wonderful and I don't think we'll be seeing much more of that hostess for a long time.

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Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

#21357228
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (2169)

On 02/16/2015 at 9:22am - health - by CatLady4Lyf (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

CatLady4Lyf's comment about their FML

OP here~ Yes, she's okay, no injuries, and for those of you saying, "Get life alert" - She already HAS life alert but refuses to wear it...Her stubbornness has no limits. She would rather have her family worry and put her life in jeopardy than lose her pride and "independence". We're gonna see about in-home care so that we don't have to worry all the time. Thanks for all the support~ :) I can only hope that one day my grandmother comes to her senses, what little she has left.

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Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

#21355220
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30126) - you deserved it (2310)

On 02/13/2015 at 7:09am - work - by lizzie57 (woman) - United Kingdom

lizzie57's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here. Thanks for the comments, so happy this got published and the maths jokes made me laugh :) to people questioning the random attendance inspections - my school has really bad attendance generally so we get them to try and scare us into coming more. I did talk to my teacher and he spoke to the office and explained the situation and they let me off :) so alls well that ends well I suppose. I was just a bit annoyed at my teacher forgetting me! But bless him he was very apologetic. Anyway, thats me explained :)

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Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

#21355174
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (21859)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:40am - misc - by TheKingKen (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

TheKingKen's comment about their FML

Ha! OP is so dumb. His tiny brain can't even function properly :D

But just to clarify some things, English is my second language. We rarely speak English at home. In my native language, saying "I'm pregnant" and "I'm full" (because I already ate at the time) sounds similar enough for me to confuse the two phrases if I don't pay enough attention :D

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Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML

#21354853
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (2134)

On 02/12/2015 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by CheeseTacos - United States (Illinois)

CheeseTacos's comment about their FML

Hey everyone! OP here.
Thanks for the support. :) some of these posts made me chuckle a bit.
I did stick up for her and made him apologize. It was uneasy the rest of the night but I don't regret it. Bye!!
P.S It was towards me. He was in fact calling her a "beggar". Hope I cleared some things up!

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Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML

#21354364
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (1866)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:44pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

bingalingading's comment about their FML

op here! Turns out I sorta kinda went over her head about it and now my vacation time has been approved! Of course said manager wasn't happy, but of course I went to HR about it and they seemed to have taken care of it. So starting June 22nd I will be on a cruise with my lovely wife!

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Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

#21353327
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (5009)

On 02/10/2015 at 10:53am - work - by Epic_failz - United States (Wisconsin)

Epic_failz's comment about their FML

There are no cameras in that place...at all, its stupid as hell, but there is not a single camera in there.

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Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

#21351614
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32759) - you deserved it (3105)

On 02/07/2015 at 5:34pm - animals - by Duckzy - United States

Duckzy's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. I just wanted to say a few things, first off, I was awoken by the sound of the lizards running around in their habitat, not by cries or crunches or whatever. Secondly, the lizards were the same size and opposing genders so I was told to put them together by the person who sold the lizards to me. Lastly, unfortunately by the time I got to them, the other lizard (Female in case you were wondering) was already half inside of the other's stomach.

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