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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

#21284454
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19998) - you deserved it (8215)

On 10/24/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by RyoKioKio (woman) - United States (Washington)

RyoKioKio's comment about their FML

OP Here. First off, you guys have genuinely made me laugh, even the less than kind comments have been hilarious. To clarify: the tube of icing in question was snagged from a discount bin because the decorating tip was broken, and an improvised opening with a knife was required. I didn't gouge a hole in it because I was spelling something out and I didn't feel like getting icing everywhere. In regards to my weight, I'm honestly not that athletic, I am a bit on the plush side, and yes, I do need to work out more (I go on daily walks around the neighborhood with my dog as a start). Baby steps, right?

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Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

#21283235
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24569) - you deserved it (7738)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:30pm - love - by Sansa (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Sansa's comment about their FML

OP here. Just wanted to make clear that I wasn't drunk and he wasn't either. I still like this guy. Every time I see him I'm falling in love again. Point is that I'm really affraid this wil not work out (I hope it does, but still) And i'm not the type of girl who has sex with anyone this easy, so I'm really confused what to do with it. I guess I'll find out.

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Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

#21282913
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22097) - you deserved it (22484)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:42am - misc - by wthiswrongwithmi (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

wthiswrongwithmi's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, I am the OP.

To answer your questions, I am a student in a ~50 person lecture. My professor was compiling a huge list of examples of bad tv on the board from students, and I threw up a few notoriously bad TV shows (like Keeping Up with the Kardashians). I vaguely remember seeing something on TV about GGW (a reference in another show). In the clip, a lot of girls partying and one of them flashed the cameras, but it was definitely blurred out. I thought it was just a risqué reality show with partying/clubbing, fighting, and a bit of blurred out nudity (like the Jersey Shore).

Yes, I did get made fun of (the jerk behind me said, "I'm pretty sure that's a movie" in a snarky tone, and some people were like "…whaaaaaat?"). I kinda just looked around and was like, "isn't that a reality TV show?" A few people giggled, and the professor just blinked and moved onto the next person. Normally I don't talk about stuff I know nothing about, but participation is a significant portion of my grade, so I always try to participate any chance I get.

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Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (5037)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

HeckIfIKnow's comment about their FML

So I never figured it out (although I'm pretty sure it wasn't the God of Farts) but the computer was really old anyway, so I'm just gonna borrow my mom's / use the one allotted to me at work until I can afford a new one. Thanks for the suggestions!

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Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

#21282459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28152) - you deserved it (4088)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - health - by yus - United States (California)

yus's comment about their FML

Hey, author here! So basically, I'm in high school and the school I go to does drug tests to all of the students and it is completely random. Some people are tested multiple times, other people are never tested. It is basically whatever the computer says. So no, It was not because I failed it the first time or because I was suspected of doing drugs.

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Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

#21282060
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (7765)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:25pm - love - by adirom - United States (California)

adirom's comment about their FML

Thanks for all your support (or lack there of in some cases) for those of you wondering why I told them over text, my friends and I are very close and have a group message with just the 4 of us, the topic came up and I took the opportunity. I have social anxiety, and decided for the sake of my sanity that would work best. And after my one friend replied "k" there were multiple texts saying they supported me and didn't think of me any differently (which was my worry). So it all turned out for the best!

To all of y'all who think being bisexual isn't a big deal, coming out regardless is a big deal. So please try and open your mind to how difficult it is to stray from social norms!

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Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

#21281960
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (2104)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by sushipanda9 (man) - United States (Florida)

sushipanda9's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here, anyways I did meet with her today again and of course I had to explain some stuff about the confusion yesterday. I told her the true definition of Scientology which cleared some confusion up. Then I told her that she didn't have to believe in the Big Bang theory but she should at least know it and have a decent grasp on it. She basically shot back "I don't really need to know about it, it's ONLY a theory..." which forced me to explain the actual definition of a scientific theory to her , and I came up with examples such as Cell theory, how parts of gravity are considered theories, Molecular theory, several theories in mathematics, and a bunch of other scientific theories. I knew this would slightly upset her but I didn't expect her to shoot back "You're going to hell if you keep preaching Satan's word. You need Jesus, I don't know what you learned but the Bible has the truth that you need to know." Now that I think about it, I'd rather tutor teenagers who come from higher academic backgrounds ...

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Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

#21281782
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28259) - you deserved it (8150)

On 10/20/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by bstent - United States

bstent's comment about their FML

I honestly wasn't hugging him that hard.. We had just eaten and he's really skinny, so that probably had a lot to do with it lol

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Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

#21281639
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (3610)

On 10/20/2014 at 7:59am - work - by NateTheGreat132 (man) - United States (New York)

NateTheGreat132's comment about their FML

I was wearing gloves. When you open up a new carving block, there's TONS of meaty juice inside of there that you have to drain out. Some of it got inside my gloves.

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Today, while doing physical therapy exercises for my broken leg, I managed to throw my back out. Now I can neither walk nor sit up. FML

#21281586
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27634) - you deserved it (2318)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:00am - health - by cray12 - United States

cray12's comment about their FML

Thanks for making me laugh with some of these comments. The back thing is an old injury that flairs up every so often for a few days, it just had terrible timing.

As for the leg....well it's getting better pretty quickly (is 2 months quick for a broken bone?) thanks to my physical therapist and an awesome surgeon that pieced my broken tibia together. Now I just have to learn my lesson and not get on an ATV that my brother is driving ever again.

But on the bright side I get to laugh at all the FML's and get a couple of months off of work.

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Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

#21280036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (6445)

On 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm - animals - by MegasaurusRex89 (woman) - United States (California)

MegasaurusRex89's comment about their FML

I did run, but I stopped when I saw another squirrel looking at me and that's when the first one caught up. Greedy and determined little bastards I tell ya! (I'm OP, by the way... And a girl.)

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Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

#21279771
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (2889)

On 10/17/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by thelordofpies (man) - United States

thelordofpies's comment about their FML

Hey OP here, thanks for all the support guys. Luckily I didn't get into an accident. I was able to come out of the whole incident without a scratch but a massive itchy red welt. The doctor said I'll be fine in a few days time. :)

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Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

#21277512
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33719) - you deserved it (2694)

On 10/14/2014 at 6:35am - work - by JenniferMay (woman) - United Kingdom

JenniferMay's comment about their FML

OP here... I can't believe this got published. After I posted it I realised it was kinda more 'fuck the pigeons life' well, not so much, since it was dead.

Basically I was on reception that day and I can see through the front door's window into the car park so I do tend to gaze out of it a lot. I noticed the dead pigeon on my way in but I was already running late so I didn't have time to pick it up or bury it. I promised myself I'd get it at the end of the day if it was still there... well as you can imagine, it wasn't :(

About 11am I saw this car pull into the car park. At first it went right around it, but a few minutes later I saw it reversing. Then one person got out of the car, went behind it and looked like she was signalling to the driver where to drive. I couldn't look as the car went over, I swore I could hear the cracks from where I was, it was awful. The driver then drove off of it and parked on the curb. I was so shocked i was just staring wide-mouthed as the driver got out with a huge camera bag and tripod. They then actually picked the main body of it up and put it in their car. It was all over in about 10 minutes, honestly the most disturbing thing I think I've ever witnessed.

Also, I'm loving all the bird puns. I guess that couple made a right 'tit' of themselves, eh? :P

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