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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

#21395443
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16130) - you deserved it (1585)

On 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm - misc - by ThatSlappinBass (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

ThatSlappinBass's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here! Yes, it did start off as a friendly game- we all have a really sick sense of humor, so the worse the cards got, the more we laughed. Right around the last two hands, my best friend's mother started screaming at her husband for "cheating" and then everyone got involved on both sides, and then tits were pulled out, and the phrase, "Suck these nipples!" was shouted. The dog is just a brat, but it added to the chaos. We all laughed after, but that's an image you never forget.

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Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

#21395138
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22945) - you deserved it (3893)

On 04/17/2015 at 9:49am - misc - by NoCnNoJustice - Australia (Queensland)

NoCnNoJustice's comment about their FML

You'd be right! I'll try and condense the story for you. So basically, I was playing Counter-Strike: Global Offensive (the game mentioned in my post) and my team was messing about and killing each other. In my frustration, I called the one who was the most annoying on my team a baked potato. It seems that he too must have been frustrated, because the next thing I know, he's called a vote to kick me from my team. Since I'm at the top of the leaderboard and I'm carrying my team (despite losing by a huge margin), I think to myself "Well, it's not like they're going to vote 'Yes', they need me on this team if we're ever going to win!"

But, to my surprise, they all accepted the vote and I was kicked, consequently resulting in a 7 day ban from Competitive Matchmaking.

Well, that's it! I hope this backstory behind it was sufficient.

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Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

#21394644
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28803) - you deserved it (2260)

On 04/16/2015 at 12:34pm - love - by topaz23 - Canada (British Columbia)

topaz23's comment about their FML

I want to thank everyone for their comments. When I went to bed crying it was nearly 4am and he had to pick up our 2 kids from his moms house at 6am. We have our issues and it's just one if those humps we are trying to get over. I posted venting cause I was frustrated.
He travels lots for work and hardly sees me and our kids I think a big part of it is depression. Not that that's an excuse. We talked more before he had to leave out of town again today for 2 weeks and we are gonna try and resolve our issues though I'm not sure how well that will work out. But I am trying to stay positive.
As much as it hurts he's doing his best to be honest with me and talk it through. We were both just very tired and like I said he had to pick up our kids.
We have been together nearly 6 years. And he's the only person I love and trust the only ones I love more are our kids. Now matter how hard this is hurting me right now I am trying to look at the positive and moved forward.

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Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

#21394010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (2526)

On 04/15/2015 at 9:42am - misc - by caseyl - Finland (Southern Finland)

caseyl's comment about their FML

Op here. My dad has a car repair shop and the biker gang rented the property next door. So he decided the smartest move would be to intimidate them to make sure they won't cause trouble. Which, I'm pretty sure, is going to cause a shitload of trouble...

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Today, I was working in the garden, when some fire ants ran up my shorts and bit me on an intimate part of my anatomy. My 4 year old nephew will not stop telling people about my rapid strip tease. FML

#21392232
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (2091)

On 04/12/2015 at 5:06am - kids - by Exodiafinder687 - United States (Florida)

Exodiafinder687's comment about their FML

I just want to thank everyone for their support. Always be careful of strange looking insects. You never know which ones are dangerous.

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Today, my boss finally did something nice for me and bought me a coffee. By mistake I poured salt in it. To not be ungrateful, I drank it all in front of her. FML

#21391705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (6187)

On 04/11/2015 at 7:20am - work - by Stillo - Germany (Bayern)

Stillo's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. I'm quite surprised this was published, it happened on Saturday. It's a cleaning job that I am doing, my boss has been nagging me a lot, making me redo things (she is really a perfectionist!!) usually she isn't there when I clean, but she came Saturday to do some things in her clinic and she asked if I wanted a coffee, which I ofcourse said yes to. When she came with the coffee I tasted it quickly and it was quite bitter... So when she went to do something else quick, I kinda ran to the kitchen and got the sugar... At least it was in sugar thingy..., then I poured it in my coffee! And since I'm kinda a shy person I really couldn't tell her. Just had to pokerface through it... (Yes my stomach did hurt alittle after it!)

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Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

#21391494
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (1894)

On 04/10/2015 at 8:54pm - work - by dukez81 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

dukez81's comment about their FML

I kept a copy but my boss claims it is not his signature that someone forged it. To make it worse, he claims he has never seen my face at work. This is beyond FML

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Today, I went to class to take an important final for which I studied all week long and worked hard in class. Today, the teacher also told us that anyone who had an A did not have to take the final. I missed out on a trip to the Bahamas for this. FML

#21391257
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30406) - you deserved it (2950)

On 04/10/2015 at 12:42pm - misc - by callalilley - United States (New Jersey)

callalilley's comment about their FML

Hey guys! OP here! It stunk not going on vacation. From the beginning, we ALL thought we had to take the final. In the syllabus it said it was worth 30% of our grade. He's a new professor and this is a psychology class. I guess some type of experiment??? I was so mad, but I still have a 3.8 GPA to prove for it!!!

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Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

#21391224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (2119)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by lovinlife028 - United States (Tennessee)

lovinlife028's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here!

Just to clarify, I normally DO cover my mouth when yawning. The wasp just beat me to the punch.

At least I'm not allergic, and it's definitely something I've been chuckling about most of the day. Luckily, my boyfriend was able to get me to see the bright side of this event. :)

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Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

#21391174
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23363) - you deserved it (8939)

On 04/10/2015 at 8:29am - work - by yuckduck - Canada (Manitoba)

yuckduck's comment about their FML

Ok guys, figured I'd give a quick update. Thanks to all of you who realized it was a mistake anyone could make! Lately I've been looking for a job, so I have a lot of interviews to keep straight. I had this interview, and another one tomorrow and they are both in the same town, I thought the interview tomorrow was the phone interview, and the one today was in person. Unfortunately I made a mistake, but I've learned to definitely keep my things more organized. The interviewer also completely understood and let me do it in person anyways. Hopefully you all learn from my mistake

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Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

#21390735
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (2035)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:57pm - money - by TabbyCat87 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TabbyCat87's comment about their FML

OP here. My insurance was liability only and I'm having trouble tracking down who lost the beam. Might have to eat the cost myself. Not fun but thankfully no one was injured!

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Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

#21390441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (2348)

On 04/09/2015 at 2:25am - misc - by ifeelsoloved (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

ifeelsoloved's comment about their FML

I didn't have enough room to tell the full story, but yeah... I'm pretty shy :/ I can talk to strangers and people fine and introduce myself to people, and I like to think I'm a nice person to be around, but I hate "inconvieniencing people" so I was scared to go over and ask if I could come too cause I thought my presence would make things awkward and ruin it for everyone... yeah.
My parents got mad at me too when I told them, but I'm just really socially awkward so that happens a lot. Also, they're just a really close group of friends with all the same classes, etc and I'm just sort of that weird outlier lol. Most of the people in the group were acquiantances who I talked to occasionally but weren't very close to, though there were a couple of friends I was closer with a couple years ago when neither of us really had friends then I am now.
And honestly, those "friends" definitely use me and take more than they give; they come to me for a shoulder to cry on and a secret-keeper to rant to but don't really talk to me otherwise... I'm the last resort :( I definitely recognize that they aren't he healthiest relationships, and I would disassociate myself from them altogether, but I honestly don't have anyone else ;-; Better to have half-friends than no one, reputation wise...
Plus, I'm transferring to a new school this year so yay for fresh starts! I'm just staying optimistic that I'll find some... more faithful friends I guess. Thank you to the people who posted nice messages, I honestly needed that :)

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Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

#21389898
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27248) - you deserved it (3572)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:00am - animals - by Darbstar101 - Australia (Queensland)

Darbstar101's comment about their FML

OP here, yes the girl was fine and laughing when I ran up to her to see if she was okay. My dogs just a very large, very excitable english mastiff puppy and the girl loves dogs so it worked out fine after I bought her another ice-cream. And my puppy wasn't on a leash because we were at a dog park playing with other dogs and she was very fired up. The little girls parent saw what happened and were very understanding :)

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