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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (2082)

On 02/26/2015 at 11:11pm - misc - by LocallyBrewed (man) - United States

LocallyBrewed's comment about their FML

I guess I was always afraid of what I would discover, and that's what took me as long as it did to muster the courage to go through with this. I fought back tears all the way home. If there is any positive, at least I can say I got a sense of closure out of this. The last words I said to those people were "I don't owe you anything."

I just hate the fact that I look exactly like the man who gave up his 2 month old baby.

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Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

#21363653
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25605) - you deserved it (5341)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by frediqqq - Australia (New South Wales)

frediqqq's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here, yes it was The Enmore, and it was a great show. I actually went to see Apocalyptica, Manson was just an extra. I really don't know how it got in my crack, I was wearing clothes (a tight dress AND stockings). I was on the barrier, and right in front of the cannon. I was shaking it out of my hair all the way home, and thought I had gotten the most of it out. Unfortunately when I got undressed I found it had gotten into my clothes too, under my bra, all over my back. There was just so much of the stuff, the floor was thick with it! Needless to say I avoided Manson at Soundwave yesterday. I did see a bunch of glitter on the ground though when I went to the stage after for a different band!

Haha herpes of the craft world - love it!

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Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

#21363220
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28723) - you deserved it (2672)

On 02/25/2015 at 9:18am - work - by mags89 - United States

mags89's comment about their FML

He's divorced and has three kids. All grown. He set it that way himself. He was a pretty good sport though and everyone laughed about it.

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Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

#21363098
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (2026)

On 02/25/2015 at 1:31am - work - by ruthlessrobin - United States (Texas)

ruthlessrobin's comment about their FML

I went to the store manager who said "what do you expect? You don't make 22 cakes a day."
That level is for mass production
I am put on specialty orders 90% of the time.
He didn't care

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

#21363083
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (2184)

On 02/25/2015 at 12:57am - misc - by Spike2013 (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Spike2013's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here. I was on the road, the other driver was exiting the parking lot and pulled out directly in front of me. I hit the drivers side front fender and door on her car. I had no time to stop. Fortunately for her, I was well under the speed limit otherwise it would have been a lot worse. The police said she was 100% at fault because she didn't make sure it was safe to proceed.

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Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (1782)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:43pm - health - by Sheldon76 -

Sheldon76's comment about their FML

Well once she felt the resistance she stopped and deflated it fully. But unfortunately it had traveled some down the urethra before she realized. So I had to wait while she grabbed another syringe unfortunately.

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Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

#21361498
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (2876)

On 02/23/2015 at 1:49am - intimacy - by sam882 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

sam882's comment about their FML

I was completely shocked and at the same time embarrassed. I had to just walk away, completely speechless. It took a moment to register with me that i actually heard that. haha

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Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

#21360733
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (5652)

On 02/21/2015 at 11:34pm - health - by denaeb123 - United States (Wisconsin)

denaeb123's comment about their FML

Hey, Im the OP. It is extremely important that you take the pills in order and you CANNOT skip a pill! If you do your hormones can get all wacky and if youre sexually active, you can get pregnant. You only have a set amount of pills in the pack and they dont give any extras.

See all the comments including 12 other original poster's reactions

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (3876)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

poncho55's comment about their FML

No worries, he's okay now. :) Later on in the day, he laughed about it and thought it was pretty hilarious, which is good because I felt pretty bad about biting him.

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Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

#21360376
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29943) - you deserved it (2186)

On 02/21/2015 at 1:00pm - health - by bradix1186 - Philippines (North Cotabato)

bradix1186's comment about their FML

Hello everyone. I never thought it would get published. I sort of just powered up my computer and felt I had to vent here after it happened. But it's okay though. I'm used to the bickering comments I receive. But I refuse to concede to the negative effects that come with it; I'm a happy person. To those who are sympathetic to what I have, I'm forever grateful while I also am but all sympathetic to those who are not.

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Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

#21360115
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28927) - you deserved it (1912)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:17pm - work - by besosforme - United States (California)

besosforme's comment about their FML

Actually... It was!
I'm thinking about breaking the contract with this company (after they pick up the finger- and the rest of the waste, of course). They've been nothing but unreliable and difficult to work with.

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Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

#21359736
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29536) - you deserved it (2814)

On 02/20/2015 at 9:39am - love - by annie_xox (woman) - United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot)

annie_xox's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here! Believe me now, I gave him the dirtiest look and ended things there and then. He can have his "gorgeous" ex if he wants her so badly, just don't come crawling back to me, you dick!

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