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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

#21522108
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12408) - you deserved it (20943)

On 02/02/2016 at 1:37pm - work - by HBSLICE (man) - United States

HBSLICE's comment about their FML

all I did was make a joke about his policy and he blew the fuck up. he is the kind of guy that gives you 3 days of detention if your phone vibrates in your pocket. real nazi.

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Today, after years of lonesome birthdays overseas, I am finally able to celebrate the occasion at home. My best friend of 10 years will not be attending because her boyfriend of two months is having his party the same night. FML

#21522048
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21545) - you deserved it (1761)

On 02/02/2016 at 8:32am - misc - by chessu (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

chessu's comment about their FML

I wasn't sure if maybe I was being too harsh or petty, so all your comments make me feel a bit lesser of a lousy friend myself. Anyway some extra details and answers to your questions:

I've lived abroad for a few years now, but due to constant moving around, I haven't been able to really form a decent group of friends. One of my last birthdays no one I invited showed up as I happened to be sharing the date with two other people from the same groups, but whom I was not good enough friends with to hold a joint party with, and all my guests split between the two. One of the next ones I only told a select few, who I then considered to be my friends and promised me 'a nice lunch at least', and then bailed. My BFF knew all about this, and knew how big of a deal it was for me to finally maybe be able to have a nice day. Of course, I understand that life goes on and I can't except people to just turn up when I want them to, which is why I tried to plan this a month in advance, the date being in talks for ages now. When the discussion came up, his date was still being decided on. And, yes - it is his birthday party as well, not just a party. However, he is celebrating his over two days, and could pick a different weekend as well (which was in cards, apparently), but chose not to. I, however, am restricted to that one day due to only having a couple of holiday days. And no, I don't think 'just two months' means that the relationship isn't serious, but I do feel that under the circumstances I should have priority. She made it clear it wasn't a difficult decision, which is, perhaps, what upsets me the most.

Yes, we are all adults. No, the date wasn't sprung on her out of nowhere and no plans were set in stone. I only get to see her a couple of days a year (we talk more often, of course!) and they get to see each other if not daily then at least weekly. I don't take her to be a person who normally just bails or forgets her friends, I just think she's new to this whole situation and I don't think this necessarily needs to mean the end of our friendship, but I can't help but feel really hurt by this whole situation. I just never saw this ever being an option with her.

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Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

#21521953
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18731) - you deserved it (1413)

On 02/01/2016 at 11:17pm - misc - by cassie0216 - United States (California)

cassie0216's comment about their FML

The fact is, my wife was in the front yard with my dog when this happened. She apologized that my dog was in the way and the mailman still refused to give her the mail. I totally understand the position of the mailman. And I did actually move my mailbox last night. I'm just upset with the way he handled the situation because we try our best to keep the dogs in our back yard around the time the mail is going to be delivered. It just happened that my dog really had to pee!

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Today, I confronted my husband about a pair of panties I found in his office. They're his. He put them on to show me that they fit. FML

#21521298
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21067) - you deserved it (2701)

On 01/30/2016 at 10:44pm - intimacy - by Xandriajoy10 - Australia (New South Wales)

Xandriajoy10's comment about their FML

Hey OP here.
For those that have given support or made a joke, it's much appreciated. It's really helped to see the brighter side of the situation.
For a little more back story; I was in his office originally looking for an envelope and found the underwear in the back of one of his drawers.
We discussed it at length, I tried to make sure he felt accepted and not judged.
It has helped our relationship more than I could have thought. I always wondered if he was holding something back, it's relieving to have everything out in the open.
I did a little research and have found that it is common among men. As for only finding one, he showed me his 'stash' of bras and lingerie that he had hidden in his shed. Hopefully he'll be more open and honest with me about what he likes and what I can do to please him.

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Today, when I went to see my therapist, she handed me a tube of tooth paste and said, "Please use it". FML

#21521108
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17128) - you deserved it (8020)

On 01/30/2016 at 10:57am - health - by gingerlover01 (woman) - United States

gingerlover01's comment about their FML

I love how politely that was put but I do brush my teeth I just drink to much coffee and tea apparently

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Today, I finally scrounged up enough change to do laundry, so I loaded up my car, swung by the bank to take out my rent money, and stopped at a gas station to get a drink. When I came outside, my car was gone, along with all my clothes and rent money. FML

#21520970
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (2584)

On 01/29/2016 at 9:34pm - misc - by CaptainKidd - United States (Arkansas)

CaptainKidd's comment about their FML

No, I didn't leave the car running. I do leave an extra set I keep hidden in the car so in the two minutes I was gone, I guess they got lucky. To clear up some confusion, I'm a college student and have to live paycheck to paycheck. I don't get paid nearly enough at my job, and as soon as I get paid, that money goes to rent, leaving just enough for food. For laundry, I save up the change I get from work until I have enough to do a load.

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Today, my whack job of a father told my 8-year-old son that his cat deserves a bullet to the head for being so damn stupid. FML

#21520889
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (1621)

On 01/29/2016 at 5:52pm - kids - by whydadwhy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

whydadwhy's comment about their FML

Hey, OP here. Anyways, for those who are saying I should take it as a joke--he was fully serious when he said it. He's not the best human being. He's done this before, and I don't know why he specifically attacks my son's kitten. He's threatened to let the cat outside so it can get hit by a car, has said he hopes it runs away and never comes back, and I even caught him trying to kick and/or chuck it out of a room.

He repeated what he said to my husband, but claimed that my son couldn't take a joke and refused to apologize. My son was speechless when he said it and went to his room because he didn't want to be seen crying. He's only 8; he doesn't need to hear that his grandfather wants to kill his cat.

My husband did the responsible thing and told my father that he thinks he shouldn't be involved with my son that much anymore.

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Today, I got call from the manager for a company I applied for. Turns out, he mixed up my friend's phone number with mine, since we applied on the same day, so the manager accidentally hired her instead of me. He said the position is still mine if I want it, but they will have to let her go. FML

#21520642
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22106) - you deserved it (1440)

On 01/29/2016 at 1:03am - work - by speaknoevil1 (woman) - United States (Florida)

speaknoevil1's comment about their FML

Hey guys! OP here. So let me explain what happened a little more. My friend and I are studying the same thing and the job is related to our field. I told her that I was applying there because I thought she would do the same thing if she would've found out about the opportunity. She only likes to take initiative when she thinks I'm going to be doing something that furthers my career and takes it like a competition. Anyway, she applied almost immediately after i told her and got an interview on the same day as I did. The mix up was due to a new intern mixing up our resumes since we came in at about the same time and we have similar backgrounds. The manager called and said he would handle it if I wanted to and I was about to say yes (because I was agitated on how unfair it was) and something stopped me. I didn't want to lose a friend over a job and she is quite grudgeful so I don't need that in my life. As fate would have it, I was offered an even better paid internship in Europe working along really great people and I couldn't be happier. Wow this is long but, anyway, thanks for everyone's advice!

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Today, after weeks of debating with myself, I finally got the courage to ask out my best friend of 9 years. She turned me down, saying that dating me would be like adopting a puppy, and she doesn't want that kind of responsibility. FML

#21520537
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (2394)

On 01/28/2016 at 8:17pm - love - by adoptablepuppy - United States (New York)

adoptablepuppy's comment about their FML

OP, here. Soooo.. I'm not a guy. And my friend is bisexual. But I thought it was great that you all thought I was a male, that and (most) of your comments actually made me feel better. For the other comments.. I know I deserved it, but it did suck, especially since I really didn't want to ask, but I thought "why not??".. Yeahhh.. I think I found out why not.

ANYWAYS! For starters, we met when we were in middle school, I didn't have those kind of feelings for her back then. They've really just developed over the past few years. I haven't been in love with her for 9 years, that's just how long we've been friends.

Okay, so this actually happened over a span of two days. The day I asked her out, she kind of freaked out, but she said it wasn't in a "bad" way. She mentioned that she had thought about a relationship with me in the past, and she was shocked that I was finally asking after so long, BUT that she needed time to think. I assumed that meant no, and I was assuming she would say no from the start. I asked her to just say no if she didn't want to, that I'm fine with it. She didn't answer when I said it, and she waited until the next day to answer.. with the puppy analogy. At first, she just drew "two girls = a girl with a dog" and gave me the drawing. I didn't know what that meant, so then she actually said what she meant it out loud. I was a bit annoyed that she didn't say no, she chose to choose an analogy. Honestly, a no would have been better (and less confusing.) I'm sure she didn't mean it in a bad way, she's not the greatest with words, but it hurt. I felt like it was a double smack in the face.

We're still friends and I have no intentions of changing that.

Anyhoo, thanks for the sweet comments. Hopefully some day I'll find "The One" and they won't think I'm a puppy. :*

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Today, my dad told my girlfriend that she's the son he never had. FML

#21519673
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (2025)

On 01/26/2016 at 1:20pm - misc - by jimmy_morton - United States

jimmy_morton's comment about their FML

Hey it's the op,
My dad loves to embarrass me and challenge my manhood because I'm his only son of 6 kids. He's done this all my life. He used to yell at me on the field during my football games calling me a pussy. He even told my senior drill instructor at my basic combat training graduation ceremony that he hoped my drill sergeant put hit foot up my ass every day that I was there. No I'm not gay. My dad just likes to mess with me. I've gotten used to it and I actually find it funny now.

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Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

#21519547
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19596) - you deserved it (3581)

On 01/26/2016 at 1:35am - intimacy - by VisceralWolf (man) - United States (Ohio)

VisceralWolf's comment about their FML

OP here, I made an account just to respond.
To explain, my girlfriend is very rarely on top, and she was in the kind of pain wanting 'mood' that she didn't notice the contact and I certainly wasn't aware of it. I already knew that she said this could happen and avoided it at all costs. Well, turns out the angle and her weight pushing down caused us to reach the limit and well... I was on the bottom. Simple as that.

I in no way did this on purpose. She knows it too.

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Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks like. FML

#21519538
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18739) - you deserved it (1363)

On 01/26/2016 at 1:02am - health - by soni_miller (woman) - United States (Virginia)

soni_miller's comment about their FML

Hey guys! I'm OP, I just didn't log in to give the FML. At the end of October, my iPad accidentally fell on my big toe, affecting my nail and the skin around it. It still didn't heal and yesterday it started chipping and peeling off. It actually didn't hurt when it did. But DO NOT EVER DROP YOUR IPAD ON YOUR TOE BECAUSE IT WILL HURT SO BAD.

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Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

#21519272
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18854) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/25/2016 at 1:21pm - misc - by miss_strauss - United States (Texas)

miss_strauss's comment about their FML

OP here. I had cooked a dinner in a sort of celebration of our first night living together, and he offered to do the dishes afterwards. I happily agreed and asked him to leave the skillet for me because it requires extra TLC. When I woke up and found it this morning, I went to work making sure there wasn't too much damage done, and he was horrified when realized what he did. I couldn't be mad at him, because he was only trying to help.

Also, for those wondering about why I've kept a skillet for this long. I'm only 23, but it was my grandmothers and then my dad inherited it when she passed away. He passed it on to me when I went to college and got my own apartment. Cast iron, if maintained and loved properly, can be the best tool of a good kitchen and can last forever. It's really not strange to small town southerners to have cast iron pans that are older than them:P

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