Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML

#21306608
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21215) - you deserved it (1935)

On 11/27/2014 at 2:12am - love - by nep012 - United States

nep012's comment about their FML

Can't believe I got published on my first submit!!! Made an account just to comment back haha. First of all, wow, thanks for all the support :) and no, there will be no second date! Also yes, I am a girl lol, and dragging him out wasn't really that hard.

See all the comments

Today, my mother requested that I return the $500 she had previously given me to help me pay for college. Her reasoning? "You work three jobs, you can afford it." I work three jobs because she decided buying herself a car was more important than my schooling. FML

#21306308
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21516) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/26/2014 at 4:43pm - money - by theaaxis (woman) - United States

theaaxis's comment about their FML

Wow, this got published! To give a little background, my mom had been telling me for years that she would pay for my first two years of college, though she's a fickle woman, so I kept a backup plan. When she withdrew the offer, I accepted the situation gracefully, and am now taking a gap year, working 77 hours a week, so I won't have to depend on her. Any resentment over the money is over the week's notice I was given, which even still makes me worry about her financial situation more so than my own. That she wants even the gift back does bother me a little, but I by no means expected her to pay my way through life, and am very much financially independent. Thanks much to the many of you who understood!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

#21302926
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (2600)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:27pm - love - by CCrew42 (man) - United States (Washington)

CCrew42's comment about their FML

I want to give some credit to the girl, it wasn't really her fault. I had gone to a river with some of my friends, and one of them tried to hook me up with her (I guess because we went to the same school?), which lead to this response from her. I was also more than 50 ft away, and not looking at anyone in particular, so I wouldn't think it was she/my friend was reading body language.

See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

#21301244
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28044) - you deserved it (6916)

On 11/18/2014 at 4:26am - misc - by _RaeRae (woman) - United States (Texas)

_RaeRae's comment about their FML

I didn't have enough room to elaborate on my post. it was spur of the moment on my part too. boyfriend is in the oilfield and they needed him up and moved ASAP. so she new a week after I knew. I just needed a week for it to set in.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27904) - you deserved it (2862)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:29am - misc - by UnchainedGaruda (man) - United States (Florida)

UnchainedGaruda's comment about their FML

Hey guys! OP here to shed light on the situation. Homecoming is this weekend and my girlfriend, mother and I were out getting the final vest and tie to finish off my attire, so I can match my girlfriend's dress. Then my mom said that. She isn't ignorant, a bigot, or anything of the sort. She was joking around and said it proudly. She went on to say that "if you're in the store buying face cream to stay smooth or whatever it is, he's right there with you to look good too" Which has an element of truth in it. I try to look good and keep myself hygienic and it pays off. It's also a bit of curiosity to be honest too! There's so many things for girls!! Anyway, my girlfriend laughed with her, and yes that's probably one of the reasons she's with me. Hope you all enjoyed!

See all the comments

Today, after visiting friends for the weekend, I took the wrong train home. It was going in completely the opposite direction. I've now missed the last train back, will miss work tomorrow and have just been asked to vacate the train station. I'm 120 miles from home. FML

#21300232
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26827) - you deserved it (4906)

On 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by Quackadoodledoo (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Quackadoodledoo's comment about their FML

I was watching a tv series on my tablet...after one episode (45 minutes) I looked on Google maps to see how far I had got and that's when I realised! It was a cross country train and the next station was 60 miles from where I got on the train. A place called Darlington. If I had stayed on the train all the way I would have ended up on Edinburgh!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

#21299716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (5099)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Slow_Walker (woman) - Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni)

Slow_Walker's comment about their FML

Yeah for me too... my reaction was taking the biggest kitchen knife, locking the door and looking for that bastard... for the moment i thought i was capable of killing someone... it scares me.. didn't know i was capable of even thinking like this :0

See all the comments including 10 other original poster's reactions

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

#21299712
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (5447)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:58pm - work - by UH60 (woman) - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

UH60's comment about their FML

Yep, didn't cramp and so dropped two minutes off my run.

See all the comments including 7 other original poster's reactions

Today, I lost all hope on making my project high quality because of my partner's incompetence. My partner, AKA the company president. FML

#21297112
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27235) - you deserved it (2078)

On 11/11/2014 at 4:57pm - work - by Tyrez (man) - United States

Tyrez's comment about their FML

The project we are working on is a video. So far it looks like something we would have done in high school. He thinks that a screenshot means taking a picture of the screen. I should probably take your advice and do most of it on my own but make sure he feels like he contributed ;)

See all the comments

Today, my cat tunneled her way under the covers to sleep beside me. It was really cute until she panicked in the middle of the night and practically skinned me alive trying to find her way out. FML

#21296756
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (3440)

On 11/11/2014 at 3:03am - animals - by LittleRed79 - Canada

LittleRed79's comment about their FML

Umm...yeah, so she wasn't suffocating at all, this is just her own particular brand of crazy. She's a rescue and she's terrified of EVERYTHING. There was a loud noise next door that spooked her so evidently she decided that she needed to hide...as though she wasn't hidden enough already. The best part for me was when she tried to tunnel her way back in about 5 minutes later. Couldn't help laughing!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

#21296590
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28431) - you deserved it (4328)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:07pm - misc - by Ltsdragons - United States (Idaho)

Ltsdragons's comment about their FML

OP here, I do turn the TV on too sometimes just for the noise and to pretend that there's a miniature party going on in the room next to me and I just can't see the people or whatever. It's actually not that bad. My parents are very busy people so they aren't home most of the time, and my girlfriend generally is volunteering at all these places. So I have a lot of time to be alone and do nothing xD

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML

#21294951
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31455) - you deserved it (2519)

On 11/08/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by Ergon_Talfo - Canada (Ontario)

Ergon_Talfo's comment about their FML

I knocked on the door again and she yelled for me to go away saying she didn't want to buy anything. At this point I understood what was going on. As it turns out, for the past couple days she's been getting salesmen knock on her door and try to sell her something. We talked it out and is clarified that I was actually her new neighbour an not someone trying to sell her something. In the end everything turned out alright and she actually brought me fresh baked cookies later on. They were good. Anyways just wanted to clear up that it was a misunderstanding and she didn't mean any harm.

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: