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hanrostre

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17

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1501

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Somewhere in the middle of the ocean., USA
28
Friday 04 April 1997

Hanrostre

My name is Hannah. I'm 20 and a gamer, violinist, artist, and makeup enthusiast.

Hanrostre -

Hanrostre -

Hanrostre

lovers5201

newbiemale...

AndreaHoff...

sexymomo12...

xxselenaxx

Danyrodg

Hasan Same...

vaas90

Paavo360

nix1993

pickle682

MasterTron

croquant77

MasterTron

sandman676

tin_cup

Hanrostre

Hanrostre

Barrel - 05/02/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

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Surprise!

AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

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pleasedontyellatme - 20/10/2016 15:19

Today, my parents finally took me driving after months of me having my permit. I got yelled at for asking questions. I only needed to know which way they wanted me to turn on the next street after they told me to turn, but not which way. FML

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Kids these days

Anonymous - - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my toddler son walked up to my older daughter and kissed her chest, then said, "I kissed the boob." I have no idea where he learned that word. FML

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Mortifying

whatashame - - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

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