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The all-time greatest FMLs

Treasure hunt

By Klarissa - 18/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 698

A new career beckons

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 20:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, I thought it was a great idea to join a work meeting while I was taking a shower. But thanks to Murphy's law, everything that could go wrong went wrong. I'd forgotten to turn off my webcam. Now my boss and my other 500 coworkers are asking me about my "OnlyFans account." FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 236

How to make it awkward for everyone

By Anonymous - 09/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 467

Not my best day

By Anonymous - 22/07/2024 12:00 - United States - Albion

Today, I went fishing and the game warden stopped and asked for my license, only to find out I'd let it expire. He told me if I went and got it renewed, I wouldn’t get a ticket. On the way to get a new fishing license, I got pulled over and given a ticket for expired inspection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 732

Spoilsport

By Don't you have better things to do? - 05/06/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I caught my boyfriend making my cat dance to Cotton Eye Joe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 360

Brainrot

By Susan01 - 08/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was in a serious meeting with my boss and a client when I remembered a dumb meme my friend sent me last night. I couldn’t stop myself from snorting. Everyone stopped and looked at me. My boss said, “Is something funny?” Nope. Not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 528

Hey big spender!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 22:00

Today, I received a food delivery. The bag was huge. I thought the restaurant had made a mistake and given me extra food. I checked the receipt; it said, “Special note: For our hungriest customer. Extra napkins!” They'd remembered me from last time I ordered a ton of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 327

Monday morning grind

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 15:00

Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 383

New fangled technology

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and tried to act like I belonged there. I used the wrong machine, adjusted something I shouldn’t have, and had to ask a teenager how to reset it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 286

Movie night

By Boo! - 14/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to sneak a burrito into a movie theater by hiding it in my jacket. Halfway through the trailers, the foil popped loudly, and the burrito slid out and rolled down the sloped aisle like a tiny log. The theater lights were still on, people turned to watch, so I pretended it wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 527

Romcom moment

By Anonymous - 06/03/2026 09:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I was tired of waiting for him to propose. It turns out he was going to propose and had the ring and everything, but I fucked it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 751

Nice try

By Anonymous - 14/09/2023 14:00

Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 933

Mucky

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that my body wash bottle's top came open last night without me realizing it. Space is limited in my bedroom so the only place I could put it (I live with my parents and they can be absentminded) was behind the TV. The good news is it didn't get on the TV; the bad news is it's all over the stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 375

Just take your food, lady

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 20:00

Today, my DoorDash account, which is my primary source of income, has been suspended. I got another ridiculous complaint from some overly sensitive Karen because she saw my three dogs in the car while I was delivering. It’s not like my babies were touching the food or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 050

Excellent

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my apartment after work, only be to greeted by an awful smell. I searched every inch of the place, convinced something had died. After an hour of searching around, I found the source: a single forgotten boiled egg in one of my backpack's pockets. I will never forget the smell of sulphur or whatever it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 471

Tense

By Lucia - 03/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out my husband and I are banned from family gatherings, all because he was my sister’s ex-husband. They need to come to terms with #1, that was 2 years ago; #2 we’re obviously a better fit for one another. If he was "the One", he’d still be hers; #3 you can’t force someone to love you when they don’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 2 230

The future looks bleak

By Anonymous - 29/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had an epic, two-hour conversation with a brilliant, beautiful future leader of our industry. She's an intern. I'm just some loser horndog of a senior manager in another department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 580

Messy

By TheNewDad - 26/02/2026 00:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 561

Gaming the system

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 09:00

Today, I indulged in some online gambling. I wisely only spent $100 and won, quite a bit; I even wisely withdrew 2/3rds of the money into my bank account. Thing is I'm on SSI, which requires me to keep a maximum amount of money in my bank; if it goes over I get cut off. Now I'm scrambling to spend my winnings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 413

Happy birthday!

By Broke girl - 31/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my friends that I’d cover dinner for my birthday. Five minutes later, my bank app hit me with a low-balance alert. Everyone had already picked their orders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 424

Bang bang BANG

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 08:00

Today, and for years, we've had an old rifle on the wall in my dad's office that his grandad brought back from WW2. Purely on a whim because I was bored I took it down, aimed it at random things making "bang bang" noises. It was still loaded and now my dad's university diploma has a big big hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 786

Merry Mystery Christmas!

By Santa - 24/12/2025 00:00

Today, I wrapped all my Christmas gifts at midnight. In my exhaustion, I forgot to label them. On Christmas morning, everyone will open presents while I try to remember who was supposed to get socks versus who was supposed to get a coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 383

Slick moves

By Frank - 30/12/2024 20:00 - Australia - Daylesford

Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 522

Chilling

By QuentinX - 11/01/2026 15:00

Today, I tried to casually lean against a counter during a conversation at a party and missed. I recovered by pretending I meant to crouch and check my shoelaces. No one bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 332

Not woke

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my phone alarm blaring at full volume. I grabbed it to hit snooze, but in my half-asleep state, I accidentally threw it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed in my fish tank. My fish is fine. My phone is not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 579

What did I do now?

By Friendless - 04/04/2026 20:00

Today, I connected two of my long time best friends. Upon chatting with each other, they discovered how toxic I was as a friend to both of them. They agreed that those traits don't exist anymore, but they are too hurt to continue their friendship with me. Fire away the YDI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 506

Plumbed out

By Jeff101 - 25/03/2025 20:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I tried to fix a leaking pipe under the sink. I watched a YouTube tutorial and was feeling confident that I could get the job done. Two hours later, half of the kitchen was practically flooded because I forgot to cut the water off, and scrambled to actually find the main valve, then I had to call an emergency plumber, who showed up, laughed, and fixed it in five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 588

What was I thinking?

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 16:00 - United States - Okemos

Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 830

Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 12:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, I told my family that I’m pregnant. My sister is upset and refuses to accept she’ll have to help with the baby. I’m a single mom going to college and living at home, and will need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 2 383

It's a set up!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 10:00 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 322

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 11 959

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 629

You deserved it 3 902

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 367

You deserved it 49 764

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 401

You deserved it 6 736

Today, I went to the osteopath because I've been having knee pain. The verdict: I have arthritis. Last month, my hairdresser told me I was already starting to have white hairs too. I'm celebrating my 16th birthday in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 529

You deserved it 309

Today, my friends and I walked to Dairy Queen after school, and I caught my mom in the Walgreens parking lot right next to Dairy Queen stalking/spying on us. My friends noticed too and made fun of me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 105