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The all-time greatest FMLs

I never asked!

By No interest in one - 08/06/2026 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, while on vacation, I met up with a friend I have been playing with online for years in person. She took me to her place and introduced me to her family. Her mom gave me a judging look, and her first and only words to me were, "You ain't getting your green card from her!" as she condescendingly walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 77

Puberty sucks

By Anonymous - 19/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, and for the past week, I practiced my speech for the school debate team. Right as I started, my 14 year-old voice cracked so hard that the first sentence came out sounding like a startled goat. The judge tried not to laugh, but I spent the rest of the round fighting octave changes in my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 55

For the full marathon, it's a cantaloupe

By Lisa - 22/06/2026 12:00 - Canada

Today, after months of training, I ran my first half marathon. Everything was going according to plan until I crossed the finish line and raised my arms for the official photo. At that exact second, a volunteer handed me a banana, which smacked directly into my face. The event photographer captured every frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 67

Bad grandma

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 128

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 20:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 294

Dress code

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 03:00

Today, I attended my half-sister's wedding but no one had told me the venue was a converted barn with temporary outdoor gazebos on the fields of a working farm, so while everyone else, including the bride, attended in jeans and wellies, I rocked up in three inch heels, and yes I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 132

Rough night

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 00:00

Today, I went to bed early, proud of myself for being responsible. However, I lay there wide awake replaying every awkward moment from the past ten years, including things no one else can possibly remember. I checked the clock at 3:47 AM and had to wake up at 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 100

Hypercontrolling

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I was thrown from a horse. Thankfully, there was a trainer there to break my fall and prevent serious injury. Instead of being concerned for my safety or even grateful, my boyfriend flew into a rage that the trainer’s hands had brushed my breasts while saving me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 55

Big swinger

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my penis isn't so small that I pee on my balls. It's so small that it fits between the toilet and toilet seat, causing me to pee all over the floor full stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 140

Happy pride month?

By CuckedByIncognito - 13/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Harker Heights

Today, I realized my husband’s true “ride or die” is his dick. He’s posted it online, cammed with strangers, and fantasized about men, while I raised our kids, did IVF alone, and stayed loyal through deployments. He says he loves me. I’m not the gender of his fantasies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 119

Mixed up

By Evy - 03/07/2024 14:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, I received an email from the secretary of my university. Even though I only have half a year left before I graduate, I'm still required to attend all the lessons for the entire year. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 89

Body heat management

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, a bit of self-explanatory wisdom: When it’s 35°C out and you need a hot water bottle for your lower half, while needing a fan for your upper half, then something in your body’s self-regulatory system does not work as it should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 93

Walk it off

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 03:00

Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 66

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 764

Don't knock until you try it

By Anonymous - 29/01/2022 05:01

Today, my boyfriend asked me to use a sex toy on him. Am I in the wrong relationship? FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 2 092

Rookie mistake

By Anonymous - 29/01/2021 05:01

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend. Two weeks before Valentine's day. She expects me to buy her a present because we've known each other for a while, and apparently thinks it's more than a drunk hookup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 1 932

Knackered

By Anonymous - 01/03/2026 20:00

Today, I realized I'm so tired of cleaning houses all day to come home to a dirty house that I don't have the energy to clean. I need to hire my own cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 62

Make it a double feature

By Anonymous - 27/05/2026 12:00 - United States - San Bernardino

Today, my husband declared that since our youngest son happened to be born on our anniversary, we no longer needed to celebrate. He reasoned that it would be “wrong” to make his special day about us. Truth is he’s just a cheap unromantic sod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 107

Intrusive thoughts

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 15:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I’m trying to avoid yet another psych ward admission, but my anxiety is so bad that I’m constantly on the verge of a panic attack, and my depression is to the point where I’m tempted to stab myself in the neck with every sharp object I see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 134

Work sucks, I know

By Anonymous - 01/01/2023 22:00 - Malaysia

Today, it's my second week of internship, I have like 8 more weeks to go and I'm dreading it. It's an office internship and I HATE being in office environments. The sounds of the phone ringing, doorbell dinging, loud typing, and fluorescent lights? Argh, I want to end myself! FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 947

Private everything, always!

By Unemployed - 31/08/2021 16:01

Today, I received an e-mail telling me the job offer I got last week was rescinded. Apparently, the memes I share on my Instagram page are "tasteless" and don’t fit the company’s values. I forgot my profile is public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 1 950

Date night to remember

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I'd planned a low key date night with my partner for tonight. I told them about it last night. When they got home, they asked why I was dressed up. When I mentioned the date night, they just shrugged and said "Oh, OK" then made a joke about my lipstick. They didn’t change out of their grubby clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 168

Make it happen (RIP)

By Dyne mk.III - 02/11/2025 00:00

Today, I visited my Grandma to hang out, help with her chores, and read her novels to her. Her friends, who are all around her age were there today too. One of them knew I'm a voice actor, and was requested two things: To read a certain book, 50 Shades of Gray, and to do it in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 103

Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 118

Awww, cute!

By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask out the girl I like. After nervously fumbling through my words, I asked, "Want to grab a cup of water sometime?" She looked at me confused, then asked if I meant coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 141

The biohazard downstairs

By Anonymous - 09/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I’ve lived in my apartment for more than five years and never had more than the occasional housefly. Three months after I got new downstairs neighbors I’ve been hit with a massive roach infestation, and they decided to bring their lovely ant friends with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 59

Tripped wires

By Anonymous - 18/01/2025 00:00 - Denmark

Today, I joined what I thought was my company’s morning meeting. It took 15 minutes of listening to strangers talk about organic farming before I realized I was in the wrong Zoom. I still don't know how the link I was sent got me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 140

Reasonable

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend said, "I won't marry you, but I want to spend my life with you." When I told him that upset me, he said, "My ex completely changed once we got married, and I like you as you are now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 158

White light

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 12:00

Today, my brain hates me and refuses to let me sleep. No matter how physically exhausted I am, my mind just keeps racing. I just wanna get some sleep! FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 65

Sometimes negativity is good

By Not again!!! - 11/11/2024 03:00 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 107

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The Top

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 208

You deserved it 2 933

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 404

You deserved it 17 294

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 067

You deserved it 245 623

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 202

You deserved it 53 492

Today, I learnt through others that my crush will be emigrating to the US in a month's time. We've known each other for almost three years but I'm too afraid to say it. But then we will never cross paths again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 368

Today, I stopped at a café before work and ordered a cappuccino. They called out, “Cathy?” I assumed it was mine, grabbed it, and left. Turns out Cathy likes her coffee with four espresso shots. By 10 a.m., I was vibrating and sending emails that read like manifestos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 551