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The all-time greatest FMLs

Ego boost

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 12:00

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I took my girlfriend to meet my friends, and they made her play a drinking game. A question she had to answer was about me and how she liked my hygiene, because her ex had terrible hygiene and never wiped his ass. Today she dumped me for him, so now to my friends I'm the guy who is lower than the skidmarks guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 77

Recruitment hell

By Unemployedloser - 08/06/2026 00:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I had a job interview and the interviewer assumed that since I'm short, I wouldn't be able to take the garbage out. Yesterday I had another interviewer call me a loser for being a stay-at-home mom. I'm gonna be unemployed forever it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 75

Oh hi!

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was at a theme park with an old friend. We were standing in line when she reached into my shorts and pulled my thong so high it was almost to my shoulders. It would’ve been fine if I didn’t see my boss behind us in line who saw the whole thing. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 123

FOMO

By Brian - 18/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Prospect

Today, it's Fathers Day. Both of my adult daughters called me… from their stepfather's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 173

Craving it

By Anonymous - 16/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, after discussing all the things our 4 year-old does for attention, I asked my partner what I could do to get some attention from him His response? “You get enough attention from the baby.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 121

Toxic AF

By Anonymous - 16/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, my coworker/landlady drunkenly told me in front of her kids that she’s my mom. I’ve never felt like she treated me as her daughter - more like an assistant while she’s the boss. I can’t tell if she said it to make her kids jealous or for another reason, but now I’m just mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 73

Valid concerns

By Gutted - 02/03/2026 00:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted he didn't want to marry me, not because he doesn't want to spend his life with me, but because he'd seen two friends get ruined by divorce settlements, and he "doesn't want my hooks in him." I love him with all my heart and would never dream of pulling a marriage con. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 119

Never engage with the enemy

By Anonymous - 23/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Henderson

Today, I was at a grocery store when I saw a kid waving enthusiastically at me. Thinking he was adorable, I waved back with a big smile. The kid looked horrified and ran to his mom, screaming, "Stranger danger!" Everyone in the store aisle turned to stare at me like I was some sort of creep. FM

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 111

Gimme my money

By PrettyGirlCrookedMouth - 27/03/2026 09:00

Today, someone was sent to our house to fix our broken garage door. Mom asked me to pay for it, telling me she'd pay me back this weekend. It was supposed to be about $300 and some change. The door was so broken, it ended up costing $1000, cleaning out my whole savings account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 64

Leave a workaround in the comments!

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I am sat in a house with a husband and three teenage boys who are all grumpy and pretending it’s not because the government just stopped them from watching porn without showing their ID first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 109

Focus!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I cooked dinner, my girlfriend told me how much she missed me and how she wanted to spend more sexy time together. We climbed into bed and, right in the midst of getting frisky, her ADHD kicked in big time, so her mind went astray and then she just fell asleep. Perhaps some Adderall? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 137

Broken promises

By Perky_p!nk - 19/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got a message from a woman who reached out to me to let me know that my boyfriend is going behind my back and getting on dating sites and apps, begging women, or at least her, for sex, and to meet up with him in our fucking apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 81

Jaded

By Anonymous - 27/05/2025 00:00

Today, after my son got his first girlfriend at 19, a nice girl as well, he broke up with her after 3 days because women are "too much effort", too "expensive", and keep trying to make him "do things." Unbelievable. Three days with a woman turned him into a cynical 65 year-old who's been married for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 183

Two wheels not so good

By Dana O'Neil - 24/04/2021 00:30

Today, it's been 4 days of recovering from a motorcycle accident. Which happened 5 hours after it was delivered. I went face-first through a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 967

A lot going on

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 00:00

Today, it was the seventh anniversary of my grandfather's passing. It was also my cousin's funeral (suicide). Brad Arnold's death was also announced. At the end of an exhausting day, I got dumped. Fuck February 8th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 67

Fidgeting

By Anonymous - 17/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 93

Good riddance

By Anonymous - 11/03/2024 00:00 - Norway - Honefoss

Today, my ex-best friend reached out just to be a dick. We all had tickets to a concert and she decided that she didn't want to go. She said that I could find someone to sell her ticket to, and I did, but then she sold it to someone that I'm not friends with anymore, and told me that she "can do whatever she wants :)". FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 147

By sunboy52 - 05/05/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 244

Teach what you know

By E…… - 25/11/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 784

The babysitter's handbook

By ACHOOOOOOO - 15/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I am babysitting my niece for the first time. After getting her to go to sleep, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze. My sneezes are loud as hell. Attempts to dampen the sound were unsuccessful. My colossal sneeze scared the bejesus out of her, waking her up again, and now she's afraid of me. What do I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 187

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 12:00 - Belgium - Herentals

Today, because my lawyer made a mistake in 2013, I have to pay a fine of over 500.000 euros. I don't have that kind of money. The lawyer is of course completely of the hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 63

Irritation

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I have family over and even though they can see I'm stepping away to go take a shower, instead of interacting with my child who they supposedly love, they ignore her to the point where she comes crying to the bathroom door. So now I gotta move quicker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 197

Tapped out

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I fitted a new shower hose and head, and it went perfectly, until it sprang a leak in the middle of the night, which completely missed the bath and went right onto the floor. We were asleep, so it went for hours, half the house is now soaking wet, and will need redecorating and new carpets FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 108

Vicious circle

By Anonymous - 19/06/2024 14:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I'm pissed about the fact that I've been fighting off the same cold for the last two weeks. At this rate, I'll still be sick when I need my next injection of the medicine that kills my immune system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 78

Poop chute

By Anonymous - 04/01/2026 03:00

Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 167

Scary!

By Heather - 03/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 82

Read the room

By Anonymous - 04/06/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I took my two kids to a restaurant with a graffiti-themed wall and took some lovely pictures that I promptly posted to family on social media. I didn't notice until a couple of hours later it said "ANAL?" in huge writing behind my dear child's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 919

Jealousy

By Karine - 05/12/2023 00:00 - France - Bordeaux

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do. He has more playdates scheduled than I have actual human plans this month. I'm officially my dog's social secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 229

My brain hates me

By This is a nightmare - 17/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my anxiety decided to play a new trick: When I'm trying to go to sleep, I get anxious about having nightmares. It sure does wonders for my insomnia, which I've otherwise completely controlled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 103

Off the clock, off the record

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 16:00

Today, I was talking to a worker in Asda when an alarm went off on her watch and she took her vest off. Apparently, the alarm was the end of her shift, and removing the vest was so she could call me "a time-wasting tit" in a manner so I couldn’t report to her boss, since she was now on her own time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 869

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The Top

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 243

You deserved it 8 200

Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 376

You deserved it 28 046

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 490

You deserved it 32 223

Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 945

You deserved it 6 460

Today, where I live in Germany, you're supposed to be quiet between noon and 3 p.m., so people have a chance to take a nap or just eat lunch in peace, but 3 of my 4 neighbors seem to consider this the ideal time for any project that involves lawn-mowers and power tools. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 244

Today. I realized my dad is a little bit too rock n roll when he got into a pushing and shoving match with a married couple, who was making comments about how my dad’s leather jacket and ripped jeans weren’t “appropriate.” To be fair, they started it, but this was a parent night at a high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 99