The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Lost in translation

By ThatLove - 28/05/2023 00:02

Today, my boyfriend lamented that I do not profess my love for him as often and poetically as he does his for me. I try my best, but he's Italian and I am German, and this is not a level playing field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 169

Because I'm worth it

By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 02:01

Today, I discovered a cat turd in a bath towel from most recent batch of laundry. I was wondering why my facemasks for the whole work week smelled so strange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 195

Brain fog

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 20:01

Today, I was at the dentist and got laughing gas to lessen the anxiety I get from the numbing shots. When I was good and "relaxed", an assistant leaned real close and said, "Open wide." I just stared back at her and widened my eyes. She had to clarify she was talking about my mouth. Duh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 271

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 2 134

Mopping mad

By samdog37 - 01/12/2020 14:06

Today, my brand-obsessed sister bought $200 shorts. She was cutting the tag off of them in the kitchen and left them on the counter. I went into the kitchen, poured me some coke, and spilled it all over the counter. I thought the shorts were a rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 379

Worried?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 14:00

Today, my grandmother gave me a long speech detailing how she was worried about my well-being, and told me that I could tell her anything. I tried to open up to her about my mental health issues, to which she responded, "Stop, I don't care, I'm not your therapist." I'm so confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 125

Silver linings and all that

By JadedAsHell - 23/05/2023 06:00

Today, my fiancé of 5 years left me for classmate of his. He says he feels more chemistry and a deeper connection with her, and if he moved forward with the wedding (most of which is non-refundable), he’d be marrying the wrong person, and it “wouldn’t be fair” to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 153

Asshat clients

By Anonymous - 14/08/2022 10:00 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, an angry client emailed me at 6 a.m. about equipment for his house that's back ordered from the manufacturer until 2023. He knows we can't do anything about it and he won't let us change brands. For the next 3 hours, he sent emails, texts & voice mails, all increasingly angry since I'm "ignoring" him. It's Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 93

Coming through!

By Fender bender - 10/09/2022 11:30 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 251

That's kinda sweet

By rond9 - 06/06/2021 04:01

Today, after spending the night with my girlfriend for the first time, I discovered why she would always want to rush home after dinner dates. Her stomach gurgles so loudly after eating, I can hear it in the next room over, with the TV on. This apparently happens no matter what she eats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 157

Manipulation

By Anonymous - 02/05/2022 02:00

Today, I realized the only way I can get hard is if my partner rubs my back and hamstrings for an unreasonable amount of time. My boyfriend thinks I’m being manipulative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 398

Frustration

By Anonymous - 15/06/2021 18:01 - United States - Aldie

Today, I found out I need surgery for a hernia that blew up after working out. I’ve been working out constantly to keep my mind off of my ex, who was the right person at the wrong time, and now I can’t even do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 142

My body hates me

By Fibrogyl - 12/05/2023 03:00

Today, I was dumped once again, all because I had to cancel a date due to a fibromyalgia flare up that confined me to bed for a few days. This happens with every guy I get close to. I think I need to come to terms with the fact that I shouldn’t even bother dating, and that I’ll be alone with my cats forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 176

Can't win

By Billie - 03/02/2021 23:01 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend was tidying up around the room. I asked him if he'd like me to help, to which he responded, "No, I don't need any help," then added, "Wish you weren't so lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 246

Currency

By PizzaBwaaay - 03/05/2022 22:00

Today, I was delivering pizzas and hit up a dude’s house who ordered two boxes of extra large. He gave me the exact change. I asked him, “What about the tip?” He paused for a minute, let out this loud rancid fart and said, “There’s your tip bub, now piss off!” and shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 1 511

…and a Happy New Year!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2022 15:00 - Canada

Today, for the first time in years, my period is early. I woke up at 5 a.m. with the worst cramps I've ever had in my life. Medicine isn't helping. It's literally so bad I feel like I want to throw up. It's fucking Christmas but hey, it wouldn't be 2022 if my garbage pile of a body wasn't ruining something for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 175

Salute

By Raven - 09/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the amazing, funny guy who introduced me to FML, and who would laugh in band with me every day at FMLs, has died. In his honor, FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 97

Some dream…

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 17:00

Today, I'm a full-time Investment Portfolio Analyst at one of the largest groups. It has been my dream job and I worked my ass off. I'm one of the best analysts there and people like me. Also, I haven't slept properly for 3 months, without a single day off. I'm about to get mentally sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 500

Treacherous smileys

By Steven - 29/08/2021 20:01 - Canada

Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 309

Just say no

By Anonymous - 08/09/2022 22:30

Today, I woke up to my stomach being torn up from the inside. Barely made it to the bathroom, but of course, it wasn’t the one in my room, where I could easily change my clothes after a quick shower. After running down all my new meds, I realized it had to be my new sleep aid. It was helping too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 147

My life is average

By Kohsukeff - 07/12/2020 17:02 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, as a single, 24-year old college graduate working temp jobs outside his field, the only thing I look forward to in my day is what I get to eat for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 133

Valentine's truth

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, I got my husband his favorite candy and wine for Valentine's Day. He got mad and accused me of doing it to "bribe" him into bed, since he hasn't been wanting sex lately. When I asked how he could say something so cruel, he admitted that he's been cheating on me, and my gift made him feel guilty about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 108

**** this pandemic

By Anonymous - 07/02/2021 17:01 - Canada - Mirabel

Today, working from home and to escape my own toddler, I moved my work area into the bedroom. Perfect timing for the neighbor's toddler to scream at the top of his lungs. All day long, underneath my bedroom. I just wanted some peace and quiet to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 137

Revenge will be sweet

By Kitty at my foot - 20/09/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 453

Always have a spare wheel in your car

By Wheel be right back - 30/09/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, my dad got a flat tire on the way to work. I got a replacement and texted him, "I have the wheel." For some reason, it got autocorrected to, "I have the weed." My dad then said, "I think we need to talk." I know he's joking and that he knows it was autocorrect trying to ruin my life, but damn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 212

Sometimes, the fears are correct

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 06:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, after stressing all week about important phone calls, they all went as horrible as possible. My anxiety was right all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 178

No plus ones

By Partypoooped - 23/09/2021 01:59

Today, I invited my best friend of 15 years to my birthday party. He wants to bring his girlfriend of a year along, because she feels "threatened" by our friendship, and thinks "He’ll cheat." I'd already put the deposit for the venue and it costs $50 per additional guest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 338

Soap opera drama

By Anonymous - 26/05/2022 06:00

Today, my wife has gotten into the habit of commenting on how much more attractive men in Latin soap operas are than me. When I suggested that an older character on the show looked like her mom, she started crying, and yelling about how hard the actress's life has been. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 108

Energy crisis

By tired mama blues - 23/11/2021 10:58 - United States

Today, I used to think all those exhausted mom memes and jokes were just exaggerated bullshit. That was until I found myself struggling to stay awake during my morning poop and still drinking Red Bull on the toilet. The kids need to get ready for school, and I’m a straight up zombie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 330

By Caro38 - 07/05/2014 05:10 - China - Wuhan

Today, as I'm a blonde expat in China, I'm used to people taking pictures of me in the street. Nevertheless, I was surprised when someone climbed over the toilets in a mall to take a picture of me as I was changing my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 65

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Work Money Divorce Education Health Miscellaneous Relatable Sports Love Abuse Kids Annoying Hospital Wanker Addiction Intimacy Management Language DIY Mysterious Awkward Cars Cooking Coworkers Anniversary Transportation Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old

The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 697

You deserved it 11 632

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 056

You deserved it 12 780

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 2 760

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 657

You deserved it 2 663

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 854

You deserved it 3 069

Today, I asked my 10 year-old guitar student why Good Friday is a holiday. He answered, "We remember Jesus Christ's crucifixion. Isn't it sad to kind of celebrate someone's death? Well, I don't care, I just enjoy the free holiday and I don't believe in magic anyway!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 574