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    Great advice

    Toxic masculinity - 03/09/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

    Today, my son told me he liked a girl at school. I told him to be extra sweet to her, carry her bag, and make every day brighter for her. My husband snorted and said, "That's simp shit. Don't do any of that. Act like a man, and if she's not into you, shrug and move on." FML
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    Hang in there, Mom

    Anonymous - 12/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I realized that the root of my depression is that I hate being a mom. l love my two boys but I barely function taking care of myself due to years of abuse. My 6 year-old and 8 month-old have me constantly overstimulated to the point I enjoy nothing anymore. FML
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    You made me realise

    Anonymous - 03/12/2025 15:00

    Today, my boyfriend and I were together for 10 months when he told me I’m the only person he’s ever been with who’s made him feel safe and able to be vulnerable and open up for the first time… and made him realise he has trauma to work through. He then dumped me on the spot so he could work through it. FML
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    I blame the parents

    Anonymous - 15/09/2025 22:00

    Today, my tired son and I were riding a shuttle bus. An old lady got on, and I told him we needed to get up so she could have the seat. He started crying and screamed, "WHY? She's old, she's gonna die soon!" I wanted to melt into the ground. FML
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    Living the meme

    OliviaOlive - 24/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Boston

    Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML
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    BFF

    Ash - 07/09/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, my best friend, who I speak to pretty much all day, every single day, started dating someone and blocked and ghosted me. I guess my only close friend wasn't such a good friend after all. FML
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    Been there, done that

    Anonymous - 21/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

    Today, after a year and a half of being with who I thought was the love of my life, we broke up. It was mutual, and even though they emotionally cheated in the beginning, hiding messages, and lying to me about things, I feel like a failure for not making it work. FML
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    Roomies

    Werebothwomen - 19/08/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I found out that my roommate of over 8 years assumed “the rag” I keep “above the toilet” was meant for wiping, and “the rag” on the separate towel rack was for washing your face. I have used the hand towel “above the toilet” to dry my hands after washing for a decade. FML
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    Cozy

    Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

    Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
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    Chancer

    Anonymous - 18/10/2025 22:00

    Today, on day one of opening my first restaurant, a customer complained his chicken fried steak contained only steak and no chicken. I thought he was taking the piss but no, he was just that dumb, and he refused to leave until he got a refund despite having eaten it all. I had to call the police. FML
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    Evening out

    Pissed and broke - 30/03/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, I finally got a raise after years of hard work! Excited, I went on a shopping spree, but as I checked the latest prices, it turns out that my extra income barely covers the increase in my grocery bill. Thanks, inflation. FML
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    Not your fault

    Anonymous - 12/08/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, our family cat died. He had a disease (forget the name). My sister brought home a bunny, and I thought nothing of it until I tried to make the cat and the bunny friends. Sadly, it triggered his illness from stress, and he tragically passed away 4 days later. I still believe it's my fault; everyone says otherwise. FML
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    All mine

    Happy NOT Father's Day to me? - 17/06/2025 15:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

    Today, I met my ex, whom I have not seen in years, in the airport. She was with a 3 year-old girl who ran to me with open arms, happily saying, "Papa!" Overjoyed, I picked her up, hugging her back, and kissed her. My ex then condescendingly said, "She's NOT yours!" When I asked why, she said, "She calls ALL MEN 'Papa'!" FML
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    We believe in you

    No life (apparently) - 06/02/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, after months of playing chess as a hobby, I'm actually starting to get kind of good. Excited at my results, I decided to share this with a friend. Her response: "Don't quit your day job. You're not becoming a professional." First of all, I'm not trying to be THAT good, nor do I expect to. Secondly, ouch. FML
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    Stolen valor

    Anonymous - 21/06/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I got a text from my mom that said, “I’m so proud of you!” I immediately replied, “Thanks, Mom!” Then I realized it was meant for my sister, and my mom had accidentally texted me instead of her. FML
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    Pure evil

    Not even a believer - 30/01/2025 19:00 - Philippines - Makati City

    Today, for the Lunar New Year, my mom ordered me to put 8 horses in a specific location in the house. I used my limited edition My Little Pony figures. She got furious, had them destroyed, and cussed me out for bringing misfortune. How? Four of them had horns, whereas "4" means "death", and the horn represents evil. FML
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    Nag nag nag

    Anonymous - 06/03/2025 18:00 - Canada - Toronto

    Today, my girlfriend complained about our recent dry spell. I've been under a lot of stress at work, but I told her some things she could do to help. She decided a better idea was to scream that I don't care about her needs, and that I should never "burden her" with my problems. FML
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    Concerning

    Debbbbbbie - 28/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Gary

    Today, I showed up to a party. People kept offering me water, asking if I was OK. I didn’t even realize what was happening until I overheard someone say, “Look at that girl; she’s totally wasted!” The truth? I had stayed up late the night before doing laundry, and I was just really tired. FML
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    Brave

    Only sad - 25/04/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I finally gathered the courage to confess my feelings to my best friend. As I was about to tell him, he interrupted me and said, “Oh hey, by the way, I met a guy and we’re going on our first date tonight.” I awkwardly said, “Congrats,” and then I went home to eat an entire pint of ice cream by myself. FML
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    Don't call us, we'll call you

    Despair - 27/04/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

    Today, I was at a job interview and, just as I was about to answer a question, I suddenly got the worst case of hiccups. I tried to hold them in but ended up hiccuping in rhythm, making me sound like a malfunctioning robot. I spent the rest of the interview with a red face and no idea how to get my dignity back. FML
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    Sibling rivalry

    Mayo baby - 19/10/2025 09:00

    Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML
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    Quaint and grounded

    Anonymous - 16/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I broke the cheap-ass bed in a holiday cottage. All I did was lay down on the bastard, I wasn’t having sex on it and I’m not overweight, but all the supports under the mattress snapped. The owner says I need to pay, and now I don’t have a bed for the rest of my holiday. FML
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    Thanks, I guess

    Anonymous - 09/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Lancaster

    Today, my best friend got married. I had introduced her to her now husband, and ever since she has basically acted like I don't exist. FML
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    Nervous nelly

    Anonymous - 05/08/2025 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

    Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
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    Bad week

    poopface82 - 07/06/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, my week started off with cleaning up a literal dumpster fire. Since then, I’ve been falsely accused of stealing someone’s welcome mat, had my water shut off, and had to miss three days of work in order to correct my child care voucher. FML
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    Red flag

    Anonymous - 01/07/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I kissed my crush for the first time and immediately started sneezing uncontrollably. It turns out that I’m allergic to his perfume. He laughed while I tried to blow my nose without looking insane. FML
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    Everyone's an expert

    Anonymous - 08/01/2026 03:00

    Today, and for this past week, I've had multiple people tell me all I needed to do to cure my incredibly rare chronic illnesses was some essential oils. Putting those 'medications' aren’t going to do anything. They then proceeded to give me more advice on how to treat a kidney transplant. FML
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    When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail

    Anonymous - 30/12/2025 12:00

    Today, my dad insists he knows best when it comes to DIY, since he is a big mathematics professor, while I am a mere labourer with dozens of City and Guilds qualifications. He owns one hammer, an unopened screwdriver set, and a wood saw with a broken handle, but sure, he knows better than me. FML
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    Leave me alone

    Chandler - 15/10/2025 15:00

    Today, at my local pub, I discovered that three equally toxic women were having a contest to see who could take me home first. I'm an emotional (and not very attractive) person who spent the year dealing with a tragic breakup and I don't do hookups. These women know this and STILL waste my time trying to gaslight me. FML
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    Double whammy

    Anonymous - 24/02/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I had to go to my parents' house and interrupt their "private time" to tell them that grandpa is in the emergency room. For those of you who are wondering if it gets any less traumatizing and/or awkward as an adult: it doesn't. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
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    Today, I finally figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life. Too bad my tattoos will prevent me from ever getting hired. Guess you were right, Mom. FML
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    Today, it seems that I can't enjoy one fucking weekend without my mom finding work for me to do to take up my time, and I'm sick of it! FML
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    Today, I got a call from the bank, telling me my mom's company is going broke. She's been on holiday for a month, and I had been appointed to manage it. FML
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    Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
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    Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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