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    Prank off

    I may also need a Tetanus shot - 08/07/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML
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    I'm always right

    Anonymous - 13/02/2025 05:00 - United States - Crestview

    Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML
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    Black Mirror type shit

    Kareen - 04/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Austin

    Today, out of desperation, I tried a new AI therapist app. Mid-session, it paused and asked, “Before we continue, would you like to upgrade to Premium for $9.99?” My mental breakdown was not included in the free trial. FML
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    Not helping

    Missy - 23/09/2025 20:00

    Today, after feeling down due to another negative pregnancy test after my hubby and I have been trying for over a year, my mom insisted I come to a BBQ to "cheer me up." I get there and what do I see? Blue and pink balloons. My sister was announcing her pregnancy. My mom got pissed at me when I walked out. FML
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    Don't shoot the messenger

    Anonymous - 18/06/2025 08:00 - Australia

    Today, I took my best friend to see her dad in hospital. While they were talking in another room about his care, he took his last lucid words before his death. I was the only one there and I'd never even met him before. FML
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    Message in a virtual bottle

    Anonymous - 26/06/2025 16:00 - United States - Fayetteville

    Today, I was feeling extremely depressed and worthless, so I decided to use the crisis chat. I told them I felt lonely and worthless, and had nobody to talk to. They never responded. FML
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    Comma etiquette

    Anonymous - 05/08/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I was accused of using AI to write something, all because I used the Oxford Comma ; I use it all the time, and always will. The internet has become such a total shitshow. FML
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    Mixed signals

    Anonymous - 11/07/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Creil

    Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
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    Troublemakers

    Heyho bilbo - 25/06/2025 13:00 - United States - Riverside

    Today, I worked all year hand making a costume, just to get kicked out of the Renaissance Faire in an hour. The people next to me got so drunk, they started puking, and just the sight of it makes me puke too. Security wouldn’t listen when I tried to tell them I hadn’t had a single drink. FML
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    Stinky

    Anonymous - 20/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

    Today, after wearing high heels all day, I took them off in the car, and sat cross-legged. My husband immediately threw a fit beside me, claiming my feet were disgusting and "smelled bad." He pulled into a parking lot and threatened to leave me there unless I put them back on. FML
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    Valid argument

    Anonymous - 27/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my fiancé actually tried to skip my mum’s birthday by claiming the cat was asleep on him, and he didn’t want to move, then he yelled at me when I moved the cat for him. Guess he forgot it’s a surprise party and we’re the ones supposed to be driving my mum there. FML
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    Stir crazy

    Anonymous - 03/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Anaheim

    Today, even if I clean the whole house, my husband refuses to wash dishes if I cook, as I “use too many”, because when he cooks he only uses one pot. His “cooking” is dumping all the week's leftovers into a pot and calling it “stir fry.” It’s disgusting and he’s the only one that eats it. FML
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    Reverse Uno card

    Anonymous - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I made a small mistake, I admit, but my boss screamed at me that I’m completely useless and that if my uncle weren’t senior manager he’d fire me. I think he’s mistaken me for someone else, since I don’t have any uncles, but if I tell him that now, I actually believe he will fire me. FML
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    The truth is out there

    Anonymous - 14/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML
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    The sensual sounds of Derek Bailey

    Anonymous - 22/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I decided to try jazz music on YouTube. I’d only listened to a few songs when my dad came running in with a baseball bat, demanding to know where “he” was hiding. Apparently, everybody knows jazz is “sex music” so he thought I had a man in my room. I’m 24, I could have men in my room if I wanted. FML
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    You played yourself

    Anonymous - 17/09/2025 00:00

    Today, my idiot daughter is sat next to me crying because she took her ex to court for child support, convinced she was gonna get paid, even though her kids live with their dad full time. Now she's paying HIM child support and can’t afford her flat anymore, so she wants to move in with me. FML
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    Small world after all

    Anonymous - 15/09/2025 20:00

    Today, I am now living a nightmare. The house on my left side was just bought by my cheating ex from years ago who I never wanted to see again, and the house on my right side has just had an offer put on it by my boss, whom I despise for being a lazy, entitled rich mama's boy. FML
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    Am I the only one?

    Anonymous - 22/02/2025 22:00 - Netherlands - Utrecht

    Today, all my coworkers are incompetent and I'm constantly fixing their mistakes. I've tried to help them to make fewer mistakes. They don't care. I've tried talking to their supervisors. They don't care either. I've been escalating matters step by step. I finally talked to the CEO about it. He doesn't care either. FML
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    Parenting is sharing

    Stephanie - 12/03/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML
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    Tough luck

    - 23/10/2025 12:00

    Today, as if it wasn’t bad enough my dumbass daughter would seduce and hookup with my boyfriends throughout her teenage years, she’s now ruined her own marriage by sleeping with married men, and wants to move back in with me. FML
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    Isn't she lovely?

    Anonymous - 14/12/2025 12:00

    Today, my wife shouted at me for never doing anything for her, which is a brave claim to make while her unemployed ass sits in the house I pay for, enjoying the Netflix I pay for, and the car I pay for so she can drive to Starbucks and use my money to buy £8 coffees for six friends at once. FML
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    How can I make everything about me?

    Anonymous - 16/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
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    Thanks, I hate it!

    LinkyMan - 14/03/2025 14:00 - United States

    Today, I found out my long distance girlfriend gave me chlamydia, after I spent $1k to fly her out for a week. I paid for an STD delivery. FML
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    Overreaction?

    - 20/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML
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    Pet peeve

    MY CHIPS - 14/04/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

    Today, I got home from work to see that not only had my wife opened my bag of potato chips, she'd ripped it all down the side and left it open all day without a clip. Now my chips are stale. She has a whole bag of her favorite flavor, unopened, right next to it. FML
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    New addition

    Anonymous - 03/08/2025 18:00 - United States - Yuba City

    Today, it's my 35th birthday. I’m a single father of 3 (14, 13, 12). I’m also a disabled combat veteran and have been alone for a while now. I just got news this morning that the mother of my children (who hasn’t been present in their lives at all for over 10 years and is a meth addict) is pregnant. FML
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    Nice, awful, try

    Get a job you bum! - 20/10/2025 22:00

    Today, my desperate cousin "visited" my house demanding that I pay him back his mom's flatbed scanner I broke, in the tune of $3000, which should cover for "interest." Yes, I remember: Our aunt bought it for $29.95 on Black Friday. My sister is the one who broke it, and then blamed it on me. All of this happened back in 1998. FML
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    Overbearing

    Anonymous - 28/09/2025 22:00

    Today, my mom got in my house while I was on vacation and “cleaned it” AKA moved everything around. Now every time I ask her, “Mom, where's my unpaid bill?” or “Mom, where’s my blue suit?” or “Mom, where’s my work ID?” all I get from her is, “Oh it must be somewhere; where did you see it last?” AAAAAAAARGH FML
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    Misophonia

    Phyllis - 30/01/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, it's almost a week since our intern started. We have an open plan office, so I can't help but hear her talk excitedly. This wouldn't be a bad thing if she didn't stop saying "it's giving…" and "like" every ten words. Our company doesn't allow headphones, so I'm stuck in hell, which, like, is giving, like, you know, pain. FML
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    Watch out!

    Why am I still in this relationship? - 14/02/2025 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

    Today, we had an ice storm. My fiancée went out to look at the damage and yelled at me when I warned her to be safe. As she was walking around, she almost got nailed by a falling branch. Now she's mad at me. I don't know why either. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML
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    Today, I went to a cook out and sat on a flimsy plastic chair. Halfway through my burger, the chair gave out, and I collapsed in front of everyone, still holding the burger. Someone shouted, “At least you saved the burger!” while everyone laughed. FML
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    Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
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    Today, I had to call the cops on my batshit crazy neighbor, who’s repeatedly threatened to steal my dog. I finally got her ass on camera. She swears that my dog is being abused because it prefers to sleep outside instead of being in the house. Imagine that, an animal that likes being outside. FML
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    Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
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    Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML
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