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Boozehound

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 152

Mixed messages

By Barry - 19/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I learned that my wife lets our son play video games while I'm at work to "keep him out of her hair." We had agreed that he was forbidden from gaming until his grades came up, but apparently she can't be bothered to actually parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 59

It's never too late

By Ghosted - 21/08/2026 03:00 - Mexico - Tlalpan

Today, a friend replied to my invitation to watch the Silent Hill movie. The invitation was from January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 51

GET UP

By Late again - 29/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I set an alarm labeled "DO NOT BE LATE." When it went off, I turned it off, congratulated myself for being responsible, and promptly went back to sleep. I woke up two hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 454

You swap what?

By Anonymous - 30/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me in on a little family secret. His brothers often swap girlfriends and wives. They insist it’s not weird because the siblings themselves aren’t doing anything together, just the in-laws. It’s still too close for comfort and too weird to ignore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 68

Out of time

By STRESSED OUT - 01/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I set ten alarms for an important appointment and still woke up convinced I’d missed it. I spent the morning panicking for no reason and showed up looking exactly how I felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 222

Room service

By Anonymous - 05/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I spent at least 10 minutes trying to get into my hotel room because my key card wouldn't work. I finally went to the front desk, where they came along with me, then politely informed me I was trying to open the room next door to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 377

You did what?

By Now we both get punished! - 06/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm so strapped for cash, I had to send my daughter to play with my neighbor's daughter, both are 5, because she gets fed there. She suddenly came home saying they're not friends anymore, bragging how she hit her and she bled while crying. Why? She bought 2 new toys and gave her one, so they have the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 124

Not so glam now

By Fuck off - 10/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I shelled out the big bucks to stay at a luxurious glamping site in the mountains for some much-needed R&R. It was great… or would have been, were it not for the party animals in the other unit. Despite being fifty yards away, I could make out every word of the shit rap they blasted for 12 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 86

Roadside blues

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 00:00 - France - Marseille

Today, I locked myself out of my car while the engine was running. I called roadside assistance, waited 40 minutes, then watched a stranger walk past, point at the unlocked passenger door, and open it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 389

Time to push

By Caden - 15/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I left the house to DoorDash and remembered that I forgot to get gas last night. I had just enough gasoline to make it to Costco for better prices. It wasn’t until I pulled in that I realized I'd left my wallet at home. I have approximately two miles of gas left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 320

It's not me, it's you

By Anonymous - 19/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Suffolk

Today, after I tried to break up with my boyfriend, he said he won't give up on us and asked me to go to therapy. According to him, “You might need medication for how you feel.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 69

What is this?

By Not my dog - 23/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I paid extra for priority shipping because I desperately needed my package before the weekend. It arrived on time. It was the wrong package. I'm now the proud owner of a dog raincoat. As in a raincoat for dogs. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 75

Things we shoulda talked about

By Sad girl - 25/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Newport News

Today, I told my fiancé that my parents and sister would need to move into our house once we got married. He got really mad and started a huge fight. He doesn't understand that once we get married, we'll be family, and in my culture, family sticks together no matter what. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 1 216

Bad seed

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 27/07/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my youngest daughter failed kindergarten. After 3 years of petit section, junior and senior kindergarten, she still doesn't recognize the teacher's authority. For example, when the teachers are trying to line the children up to come in after recess, she's pulling the kids out of the line and yelling, "Run away!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 395

Slapstick never gets old

By Anonymous - 29/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, I slipped on a banana and hit my head. I woke up in the ER and thought it was a dream. Turns out it wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 58

Father figure

By Anonymous - 30/07/2026 22:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I met a truck driver at my job and he gave me some fatherly advice. The whole time I was listening, I was also thinking like, why didn't my dad stay and want to be in my life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 62

I'll play chicken in my sleep

By Maya - 07/08/2026 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I’m the latest learner of the lesson that, however desperate one is for relief from both, it is wrong to take sleeping pills (for insomnia) and laxatives (for constipation) on the same night. I'd have been fine alone. The catch is a night of pooping as I slept taught my guy that I’m bad to sleep with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 404

Platform B

By running late - 08/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I was running late for a train and bought a ticket in a hurry. I got on the wrong train, sat there for twenty minutes, and only realised my mistake when the scenery looked nothing like my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 247

Stans

By Not really a fan - 10/08/2026 15:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, at the mall, my 89 year-old Grandma went, "Look dear! Aren't they the singing and dancing Chinese girls you like so much?" and "They ARE girls, right?" I had to pull her away fast from the group of die-hard fangirls who were looking at her with murderous intent. She was looking at a BTS standee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 86

Stuck

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my parents canceled our trip to Greece because my siblings were being brats. When I tried to point out that I wasn't doing anything, they just shrugged and said, "Sorry honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 68

Don't drink and Amazon

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I found a package outside my door and assumed that I'd drunk-ordered shit on Amazon. I opened it before checking the label, which I should've done because it was addressed to my neighbor, and contained 6 pounds of live crickets for someone's pet lizard. I have never closed a box faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 357

Happy birthday, dear…

By Anonymous - 15/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Rockford

Today, while singing "Happy Birthday", my boyfriend's mom said his ex's name instead of mine. Almost everyone at the party got it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 56

Shifting the blame

By Anonymous - 19/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, I gave ice cream to a kid and apple pie to his dad. The kid decided to grab a literal handful of the dad’s pie which was steaming hot. Cue the kid screaming and the dad yelling at me for not telling his kid that the dessert, that WASN'T HIS, was hot and he shouldn’t touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 44

Busted

By Anonymous - 21/08/2026 09:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, at 6 a.m., the cops burst into our home. My husband was slammed to the ground and I had a gun pointed at me. I was naked and eight months pregnant. We had moved in the day before, they were coming to arrest the previous tenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 38

Time comes for everyone

By So old - 22/07/2026 03:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my favorite band from my teenage years was played on an oldies station on the car radio. To make matters worse, my sixteen year-old niece who was in the car, had never heard of them. I’m only 31, but damn, I feel old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 136

I think you should leave

By Anonymous - 31/07/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I warned my new boyfriend not to approach my ferret, as he is still quite young and bites when he plays. He ignored me completely because “animals love him”, and when my ferret latched onto his finger, he threw him across the room. Now I can’t find him anywhere in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 92

Thanks!

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 20:00 - Germany

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 69

Showtime

By dumbass - 03/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I spent 5 minutes trying to get into my car because the key fob wouldn't work. It wasn't my car. Same model, same colour, same parking spot, just wrong floor. The actual owner was watching me struggle from the Aldi trolley station the whole time, clearly amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 272

Lost in film

By bad movie - 05/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I got to the movie theater early to avoid missing the previews. I sat through 20 minutes of trailers before realizing I was in the wrong auditorium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 358

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The Top

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 138

You deserved it 4 701

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 131

You deserved it 4 700

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 9 543

Today, I told my dad that failing to kill yourself must be really awful, because you think you’ve failed your life and then you even fail your death. My dad who, as I recalled when he shot me a sour look, tried to commit suicide during his youth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 2 536

Today, I was hitting it off pretty well with a girl I met through a dating app. However, she's never going to speak to me again because I also happened to "match" with her friend. How was I supposed to know they knew each other? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 283

Today, I woke up, like every other day, with no girlfriend, no family, no friends, and having to go to my second job. I haven't gotten a day off in months and somehow barely can afford rent. I spend within my means and budget appropriately, but there's always some shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 142