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By ladams94 - 17/07/2016 18:39

Today, I have a Bachelors of Science at a top university and got denied by Chipotle for a part-time job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 055

You deserved it 1 262

ladams94 tells us more.

ladams94 12

Monday 18 July 2016 12:44

It wasn't a science degree... Just called a Bachelors of Science. I have food cooking experience as well as customer service experience but thanks for your input. Bye.

Help yourself

By RedHotRoses - 20/12/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into my office and found my ex-roommate going through my desk. Apparently, despite not wanting to be friends or even speak anymore, he has no qualms about "borrowing" my Master's thesis so he can compare and write his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 369

You deserved it 296

Uncanny

By ToobyFrank - 06/03/2009 17:51 - United States

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 184

You deserved it 68 889

Excitation morning

By Anonymous - 14/11/2019 05:00

Today, while I was in bed, my cat licked my nipple. It turned me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 711

Stank ass

By girlsgottagotoo - 26/06/2016 20:52 - United States - Covina

Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 634

You deserved it 1 531

By AHHH_REPTAR - 23/06/2016 04:54 - United States - Spearfish

Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 649

You deserved it 1 405

By chase - 25/01/2013 00:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 236

You deserved it 53 298

You just don't understand art

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 23:16

Today, I walked in on my roommate with his pants down at his ankles, taking a picture of his poop. This would've been less disgusting if we'd been in the bathroom, not the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 124

They'll go at night

By jesuschrist - 22/03/2020 00:30

Today, my daughter asked me why NASA hasn't gone to the sun yet. She's seventeen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 473

By RoseRodent - 03/06/2016 17:58 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I dropped my daughter off at a concert where she was performing and went to look for parking. I got caught in freak traffic and it took me an hour to get back there. I missed her act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 777

You deserved it 1 540

I guess that's a no, then?

By Lazyuser2849 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Arlington

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. To this, she said, "You need to meet more people."FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 588

You deserved it 1 093

Headfucked

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 17:00

Today, after two weeks of migraines, my doctor informed me that bowel movements are one my triggers. This means every time I shit, I will have a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 110

Assumptions

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry, it gets better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 890

You deserved it 3 102

By kingdomgirl94 - 17/05/2016 00:02 - Canada - Peterborough

Today, my new upstairs neighbours sent away a package, telling the delivery guy that the person doesn't live there anymore. The package is a birthday present from my mother in-law, and it's been sent back twice now, even after talking to them and leaving a letter for them with my name on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 043

You deserved it 867

kingdomgirl94 tells us more.

kingdomgirl94 29

Tuesday 17 May 2016 15:44

Hey everyone, Op here. I live in the basement apartment, with a side door entrance. The problem is that my side door opens directly into an alley, so all packages and mail are brought to the front door. If I knew who was delivering it, it wouldn't be an issue, but it's direct order from build-a-bear (I was finally told what it was after the second time it got sent back) and we don't know who they're using to deliver. I wish that it was going back to my mother in law, but what's even worse is that it keeps getting sent back to the build-a-bear thing in Ohio (I'm in Ontario). The delivery company, thinking that the recipient has moved, doesn't even hold the package or leave a note for pickup, they immediately send it back. I don't think the new neighbours are even doing it to be malicious, I think they're just dumb. It's like six guys just out of residence (this is a university town, I'm a student too) and everytime I've spoken to them I get a deer-in-headlights look. Either way it's super annoying. I really like the suggestion of leaving a note telling the delivery guy that the upstairs neighbours are idiots and that I do in fact live there. Really made me laugh! Here's hoping I get it soon!

Glamorous...

By KlutzyFarmGirl - 12/06/2018 20:30 - United States

Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 383

You deserved it 375

By jackroarrr - 12/05/2016 17:47 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to work expecting praise for working overtime last night after taking a client to the hospital. Instead, I got suspended without pay for working unapproved overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 225

You deserved it 1 429

jackroarrr tells us more.

jackroarrr 25

Friday 13 May 2016 3:20

I work at a group home ... As my shift ended and my coworkers told me they needed to go home I volunteered to take the youth to the hospital and followed procedure filled out the paper work and was at work on time for my next shift I feel like a good job or thanks for not waking me up at 1130 at night and dragging me out of bed from my boss would be appropriate. Entitled no but a thanks instead of a suspension would have been nice.

By iFail - 29/01/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 795

You deserved it 9 027