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By Sonic - 29/03/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss left a lovely invitation to her wedding on my desk. I plan on resigning during our meeting later today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 689

You deserved it 2 032

By Grant Williams - 07/05/2019 17:37

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 828

By fishfloors - 21/04/2017 14:00

Today, I finally broke down and paid someone to clean my condo. Sometime after she finished, my cat threw up. Then my roomba went off, smearing regurgitated mackerel all over the freshly washed floors. There goes $150. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 381

You deserved it 909

By jeffnn - 24/12/2016 04:18 - United States - Melbourne

Today, while building a gingerbread house with my two kids, they thought it would be funny to pee on it while I wasn't looking. Nobody noticed until my wife ate one of the pee-covered gingerbread men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 291

You deserved it 1 000

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 429

You deserved it 43 249

Mixtapes are my love language

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, at college, the weird guy who stares at me every day came over, said, "I've made you a mixtape," then handed me an old, empty Queen's Greatest Hits CD case and scuttled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027

You deserved it 274

By itsplashedeverywhere - 27/10/2015 18:59 - United States - Boulder

Today, I was unfortunate enough to discover what happens when you vomit mid-drink at a water fountain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 810

You deserved it 2 223

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 342

You deserved it 7 543

By neuronerd - 16/12/2016 14:29

Today, I set the record for bringing in the most money for a charity event, and my boyfriend and I got back together. This would normally all be wonderful, but it was a bachelorette auction with the winner getting a date with me. My boyfriend didn't have the winning bid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 358

You deserved it 1 298

neuronerd tells us more.

neuronerd 29

Thursday 22 December 2016 0:06

I went to respond, but accidentally clicked on the next FML. But long story short, it's not a jealousy issue. It's that I know the guy who won, know he's interested in me, and was considering going out with him before I got back with my boyfriend. Now I feel bad that he's dropped a few hundred dollars for a date with me, when I know he was hoping for it to be a real date (no, not talking sex, just a potential to lead to more dates), but at least kids are getting to have a merry Christmas, because of his donation.

By cantfallbackasleep - 22/10/2015 14:05 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was called a ruthless bitch for not waking up early to search for my car keys, so my boyfriend could go get his pipe and get high before work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 796

You deserved it 5 382

Surprise!

By Idiot - 26/05/2019 02:00

Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 2 308

By Anonymous - 08/08/2014 21:05 - Israel

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 946

You deserved it 8 675

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 00:25 - United States

Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 137

You deserved it 9 215

Waste my time

By screwyoucompany - 19/05/2017 20:00

Today, I had a job interview. I was almost late due to road closure and being blocked in my street by the trash truck. The "interview" turned out to be a hiring fair, with lots of other people. I had to wait outside for 3 hours in the sun with no shade, water or food. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 563

You deserved it 379

By anon - 10/06/2012 21:14 - United Kingdom - Romsey

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 376

You deserved it 5 122

By tiredstudent - 18/11/2016 13:56 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, an older lady loudly accused me of masturbating on the public bus. I simply had my eyes closed and was twirling my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 247

You deserved it 789

tiredstudent tells us more.

tiredstudent 10

Sunday 20 November 2016 1:12

OP here- I had my eyes closed on the bus because I'm a student who works a full time job and babysits my sister's children at night. I was tired. I was twirling the hair on my HEAD because I had recently gotten the time to get my hair cut . My other hand was on my purse which was beside me no where near that area. The lady ended up yelling other horrible things to other people on the bus and got kicked off.

By loser4life - 30/07/2011 04:38 - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 452

You deserved it 79 696