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Living his best life

By shotdown - 02/12/2015 20:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 842

You deserved it 2 427

By Rainbow_Rhinos - 28/11/2015 07:17 - Australia

Today, I realised there's a reason that no one talks to the weird guy from choir practice. I was nice to him a couple weeks ago and now he won't stop following me around the school and watching my group at lunch from behind a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 476

You deserved it 2 053

Rainbow_Rhinos tells us more.

Rainbow_Rhinos 23

Sunday 29 November 2015 14:11

OP here. My friends and I checked him out and he has a history of doing the same thing to girls in his own grade (he's a year below me). He bugs them online and invites himself into their lunch group, as well as watching from behind poles. He isn't very physically threatening, so no one sees him as a threat, but more of an annoyance. And very creepy. I'm not rude to him, but I don't want to encourage the behaviour so I just ignore it. When he comes over to our group we start talking loudly about bras or tampons and he wanders away soon enough.

Ham-fisted attempt

By HamHanded - 10/03/2017 09:17

Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 690

You deserved it 731

By gas money - 22/11/2015 04:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 877

You deserved it 3 506

Shiver and shake

By Loserman67 - 01/04/2017 12:00

Today, I spent several hours in freezing drizzle sampling and testing diesel fuel from an above ground, 10,000 gallon tank. Soaked to the bone and shivering like mad, I gave the manager the results. He said thank you and then told me I was at the wrong location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 568

You deserved it 744

By sirttocs - 14/05/2019 00:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I remembered what I did in my sleep last night. Turns out, in my sleep, I grabbed her crotch and said, “Just making sure you’re not Shae.” Shae is her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 302

You deserved it 530

By Christine - 24/12/2016 17:56

Today I woke up with an extremely bad flu and severe nausea. As I rolled around wanting to die I remembered that 4 days prior, I had hoped to get a cold to skip a compulsary carol service for my Catholic school. Now, on Christmas Eve, I just want to say, be careful what you wish for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 342

You deserved it 1 753

By Casuallydying - 28/04/2017 04:00

Today, I went into my boss's office to confront her about not consulting me before switching my shifts with someone else. I left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 039

You deserved it 597

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 243

You deserved it 344

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 949

You deserved it 23 829

By -_- - 07/10/2015 11:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 983

You deserved it 32 502

By Anonymous - 20/05/2017 16:00

Today, I found out that the electricity company can just show up unannounced and cut off my power, but cannot find the meter for a whole 10 days to switch it on again. It's currently dark and 7°C in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 035

You deserved it 473

By No Job - 01/10/2015 01:42 - United States - Prairieville

Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor's appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn't be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 378

You deserved it 30 698

The joys of public transportation

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 04:56

Today, I was on the subway and there was a guy yelling, "Regret your sins and devote yourself to God right now." Another man got up from his seat and told him, "I work 12 hours a day and all I want is to go home and rest, you shut the fuck up or I'll make you meet God personally." FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 246

By crazymentalblond - 17/11/2016 11:47 - United States - Havertown

Today, my class and I were discussing our country's relationship with other countries. One person stated that the French have never done anything for us. A classmate took that moment to chime in and ask, "I thought the French gave us that giant statue of the Mona Lisa?" He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 745

You deserved it 974

crazymentalblond tells us more.

crazymentalblond 25

Friday 18 November 2016 3:21

OP here, when the second classmate made his announcement, everyone went silent (I swear crickets were chirping). He went into a ramble that sounded oddly like "the statue we got it in 1962." It took us all a few minutes to stifle our laughter to correct him. After that, yes someone did inform the first guy he was indeed wrong and told him several reasons why. At least it was a good way to kick off a what was slowly becoming a boring day. And yes I focused on the second guy a little bit more because I myself suck at history so I couldn't judge the first classmate too much. Especially when my previous schools skimmed over a lot of American history. If it wasn't for the books my mom showed me that she had on American history I wouldn't know much other than the basics. The education system I'm in really sucks.