By Anonymous - 08/11/2017 21:57 - Belgium - Wilsele
The Top
feytensn tells us more.
By SexxiKitty - 19/12/2015 22:45 - United States - San Francisco
SexxiKitty tells us more.
Hey everyone! OP here hoping to give you all some clarity! First off, I wasn't high but I was tired and I wasn't wearing my glasses. I live on a farm in the middle of bumble-**** nowhere and we have a small tree, about 5'6" tall, a little ways off our back porch. It was about 2:00 a.m. and my young daughter had gotten sick on her sheets so I was running to put them in the washing machine (which is in the barn) so that they wouldn't stain. I heard a rustling sound and I thought I saw a person moving out of the corner of my eye. Without my glasses and the fact that it was really dark mixed with my overall anxiety because my husband wasn't home caused me to drop the sheets and run back into the house to protect my kids. I know it's stupid and really horrible that I wasted precious resources on something so trivial but I was terrified. My husband is the head of a very small drug task force and even though we live in a pretty sleepy town, he still gets threats now and again. Furthermore we recently moved from Sacramento because I was almost kidnapped about 2 years ago while I was walking home from the park with my kids and I didn't want to take ANY chances. I was treated with respect by the great officers who came out and my husband was immediately notified. He wasn't able to come home right away but one of his off duty officers came by and stayed on the couch the rest of the night. Thank you all for the well wishes and I appreciate all the great puns!! :)
Tipsy
By Anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville
By jimmy - 30/11/2015 21:27 - Canada - Orangeville
By Dying Son - 05/04/2019 12:00
By Secret Isis supporter - 19/11/2015 00:52 - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 08/11/2015 06:15 - Canada - Gatineau
Something smells fishy.
By Anonymous - 19/04/2017 22:00
By college student - 23/04/2017 10:00 - United States - College Park
By kiwibadja - 09/12/2016 15:54 - New Zealand - Auckland
By Anonymous - 12/06/2019 02:10
By INside - 02/08/2011 04:52 - United States
So similar
By StillLoveMyDogs - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco
By smart move there - 16/05/2012 16:10 - Ireland - Naas
By AgentKoos_99 - 11/10/2016 07:52 - South Africa - Johannesburg
By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill
Busted
By douchetard - 26/03/2009 07:37 - United States
By Bg2466 - 15/08/2016 03:17 - United States - Pittsburgh
Carded B.
By Anonymous - 20/09/2019 12:00
Busted
By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States
By Ouch - 28/10/2017 14:00 - United Kingdom
Loyalty card
By fuck you sis - 12/10/2019 16:00
By fuckit - 23/07/2016 06:52 - United States - American Fork
By ApplePie1994 - 18/07/2016 17:55 - Ireland
ApplePie1994 tells us more.
OP, here. It was his stomach that didn't fit, you nasty. The dressing gown was pink, with butterflies embroidered on the breast. He looked absolutely fabulous, darlings.
By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 21:22
By Damn_her - 05/03/2009 00:04 - Canada
By sickofthisshit - 02/07/2016 16:43 - United States - Oceanside
By Angsty_Armadillo - 28/06/2016 09:36 - United States - Essex
Angsty_Armadillo tells us more.
Holy crow after 7 years I finally get posted! Even though it was on an email I never use.. But I thought I would share a little somethin somethin with you guys. I have tried ear plugs but they cause blockage in my ears. Also to the people who say I shouldn't let the dog sleep with us. Have you tried keeping a 1 year old pit with seperation anxiety in a kennel or simply out of the room? You can pick up the tattered remains of my living room. It's just one of those things you gotta deal with when you have a SO and a dog that snorts loud even when awake. PS I snore loud as **** too my boyfriend is just a heavier sleeper! :D
By dancingqueef - 22/06/2016 02:39 - United States - Kingston
By Anonymous - 14/06/2016 02:39 - United States - Los Angeles
Keywords
OP here! I did follow store policy. People could not go to our restroom. That’s because the restroom is inside the stock, next to our safe. We could not keep an eye on them, so it is possible that they could steal from us. Althought we would never refuse a child or a pregnant woman. This lady took of her pants and underpants. When she left the fitting room, she acted like nothing happend. We did give her something to clean it up.