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By duckwater - 01/03/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 855

You deserved it 4 142

By Dr. Jack - 04/02/2009 13:54 - United States

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 276

You deserved it 2 220

By idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - 18/12/2012 21:44 - United States - Mesa

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 426

You deserved it 4 227

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 13:19 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 025

You deserved it 3 240

Level up

By danny - 25/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out who my ex-girlfriend left me for. He is more successful than I am, and comes from a supportive and unconditionally loving family. He is bigger, taller, and 4 years younger than me. To add insult, I’m only 25 but this rich kid is in a band and plays guitar better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 207

By 751920 - 03/02/2009 08:49 - Canada

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 137

You deserved it 3 342

Racketeering

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 04:01

Today, my car was damaged in an accident. At the garage, I happened to find out that if some big insurance company is paying for the repairs, they only charge half the hourly rate they charge people who have to pay from their own meager salaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 05:49 - United States

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 660

You deserved it 8 520

All in the family

By jerry Jerry Jerry - 15/05/2020 17:00

Today, I found out the truth about my parents’ divorce and why our family is so distant. Turns out my dad had an affair with not one, but two of my mom’s sisters. And that my youngest cousin is also my half-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 415

You deserved it 160

Welcome back!

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 14:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I came back home from a 3-month trip to see my boyfriend and his family. Leaving them was obviously very emotional, and to top it off as soon as I got home, I realized I'd left my antidepressants behind, and I now have the flu as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 156

By koolkidx3 - 24/02/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 351

You deserved it 3 077

Swindling

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 08:00

Today, I got dumped, but not before he swindled me out of my savings. This done by my sweetheart from 16 years ago, whom I reunited with when he called me 7 months ago. I had no reason not to trust him, his brother has been one of my BFFs for 20 years. Now I'm not only broke, but heartbroken, and have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 230

The blame game

By Shattered - 23/11/2022 02:00

Today, my brother got mad at me for breaking the screen on his phone. He'd already dropped it so many times that the whole screen was cracked to the point that you couldn't see anything on it, but for some reason, I am fully responsible for its destruction because I accidentally delivered the finishing blow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 199

Strange verbiage

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to compliment a woman’s scarf by saying, “That’s a nice wrap!” She misheard me and thought I said, “Nice rack!” She glared at me and loudly said, “Excuse me?!” in front of about twenty people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 122

First impressions

By medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 006

You deserved it 8 234

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 356

You deserved it 7 447

Driving force

By Anonymous - 09/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Ontario

Today, my boyfriend has been unemployed for over six months. He has applied EVERYWHERE with no luck, but he also has the opportunity to start his own business. Instead, he just spends his time sitting in front of the TV all day long. I'm starting to believe he is not a driven man, and I hate that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 286

The chills

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 14:00 - Germany

Today, despite living healthy and being only 40, I have such pathologically cold feet that I can only ever be comfortable while either having them on a hot water bottle or taking a vigorous walk. Everything else feels about as cosy as standing in ice water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 87

Beware what you wish for

By germified - 08/09/2021 17:01

Today, my kids and I have been ecstatic about them being back in school. After a year on Zoom, they couldn’t wait to get back into the classroom because every day they bring home something new and interesting. This time, they brought home a cold so bad it’s knocked me flat on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 172

Selecta blues

By Not my day - 29/11/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get something out of a vending machine. It got stuck. I tried getting something else to knock it down. That got stuck too. I tried a third time… take a wild guess. One massive tirade later, someone came and tried to help me out. Stuck. Four times in a row. How is that even possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 176

To each their own emergency

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 83

Thank you for your service

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 00:00 - South Africa

Today, I discovered that more than half my family has disowned me on both my mother's and father's sides, and whilst I was having my mental breakdown about this, I tried to call my boyfriend to tell him what had happened, He fell asleep and didn't call me back for 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 280

Major red flag

By Z…… - 15/04/2024 12:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after he asked to hit it raw three days into talking, shit got a little messy, so he said he needed time to decide how he felt about me. So, he's ready to be a high school baby daddy before trying to be my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 693

Lost

By directionally challenged - 18/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, the employee entrance to my workplace was moved. Not only will no one tell me where it is, they all insist it wasn’t moved. There’s literally a sign on the door that says the entrance has been moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 110

By Chuffy - 01/12/2012 06:01 - United States - Loveland

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 065

You deserved it 43 106

I was right all along

By 3peeps - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 830

You deserved it 4 069

Memories that hurt

By ruinedmoment - 24/02/2011 06:20 - United States

Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and me on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know." Thanks Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 599

You deserved it 8 238

Whoops

By Teen - 24/01/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 153

You deserved it 3 023

By FUSheldon - 28/11/2012 05:15 - United States - Millstadt

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 894

You deserved it 4 912

By Giggity - 21/02/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 388

You deserved it 6 522

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The Top

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 002

You deserved it 1 961

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 437

You deserved it 6 663

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 440

You deserved it 5 328

Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 598

You deserved it 2 716

Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee of the store to have a key to open. After I took off one dress to go to another, an employee quickly opens my door, to give the stall to someone else. The entire store could see me in my granny panties and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 077

You deserved it 6 554

Today, for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 208

You deserved it 18 685