The Top

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Outcast

By Coolkid. - 14/06/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I was accidentally tagged in a photo of a group of people by a 'friend' on Facebook. She later corrected it, apparently everyone had already seen the tag and decided that the comment box below was a great opportunity to discuss how none of them would ever be caught dead hanging out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 714

You deserved it 3 926

Been there before

By OopsieDoopsie - 03/04/2023 10:00 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 204

Ice age

By Drew - 16/01/2022 16:59

Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 166

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 02:00

Today, my husband walked in on our daughter naked in the bathroom, which was awkward enough for both of them, but it also meant he discovered her nipple piercings and thigh tattoo. She’s only 15 years-old. The shouting hasn’t started yet, but it's coming soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 541

First day

By Henry - 29/03/2026 20:00

Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 352

By riddick0846 - 12/12/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 835

You deserved it 13 199

Furry family

By crazy dog lady - 02/11/2020 11:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got evicted for having too many dogs. She expects me to let her and all 5 dogs live in my one-bedroom apartment. When I told her no, that I’d get evicted too, she said that should be a sacrifice I’m willing to make for “our family” if I really loved her. They aren’t even my dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 264

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 171

High flying old bird

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 04:00

Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 113

Caught short

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 18:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 980

You deserved it 3 404

The good son

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 20:00

Today, my husband and I sat our 8 year-old son down and gently explained to him that I had a miscarriage and he won't be having a little brother or sister after all. He responded by dancing around the room and celebrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 109

Coherence dude, do you have it?

By Anonymous - 05/11/2020 02:03 - United States - Herndon

Today, I learned that my best friend has been cheating on his girlfriend for 2 months. This is the same person who, 2 months ago, wanted to break our friendship off because he thought we "got too close" and felt like he was cheating on his girlfriend by spending too much time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 101

You deserved it 280

It's fine, I'll wait outside

By I tried - 12/04/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, because the policy "no shirt, no shoes, no service" doesn't mention pants, my friends got the hilarious idea to walk into a store with no pants on. I tried to be reasonable and say they would get arrested, but they called me a "chicken" and did it anyway. Take a wild guess what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 225

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 112

You've got mail

By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a write up from HR because the new boss says we have to check our e-mail everyday, and I missed checking my e-mail for one single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 372

Anerrhíphthō kýbos

By AllGreekToMe - 02/02/2022 20:01 - United States - Bloomington

Today, when I selected my classes last semester, I could have taken my required-to-graduate foreign language classes on something doable like Spanish. Instead, not knowing what I was getting into, I selected Classical Greek. It's too late to change my language and my uninformed choice is going to cost me my degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 404

Mammy's boy

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 22:00

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 176

Let's get it on

By None of that means consent to sex - 08/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 1 430

Not very romantic

By whyyyyy - 10/04/2026 20:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, my husband read my texts and discovered that I get a laugh out of making him beg for sex. He handed me a printout of the texts and coldly said, "Either we're going down the list of everything you've said no to, or I find a side piece. Make a choice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 971

Young love

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 02:00

Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 125

Making a scene

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 18:00

Today, a guy I been seeing went to work and left me in his house. As I made a bagel, it burned, the smoke alarm went off. This activated a call to the fire department but I didn’t know. The fire truck showed up. Little did I know, the guy’s family was outside too, just to see what had happened, thinking I'd broken in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 247

By .... - 08/06/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 873

You deserved it 3 282

Litter

By MrSlav - 12/11/2020 16:57 - Lithuania - Siauliai

Today, I rubbed my heel raw with a new shoe, so I put a bandaid on and went to the pool. A few minutes later, I noticed the bandaid floating close to me. I'm not an ass so I quickly fished it out and put in the pocket of my swimming trunks. Later, I went to shower and noticed that my bandaid was still on my heel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 194

Can it

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 15:59 - United States - Verona

Today, I had to hear yet another round of complaints about relatives or things from decades past from my broken record of a mother, who doesn't respect my need to quietly work from home. I'm about ready to smash my own head against the wall to get some peace and quiet, but I have to get this report done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 136

Hobby lobby

By I can't think of a name - 14/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my parents complained to me that I never talk to them about my hobbies and interests, or what I do in general. Well, maybe if you at least pretended to show any sort of interest when I do, instead of just replying dismissively to everything I say until I leave, I might talk about them more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 109

Thirty demons

By Tech BS - 15/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I’m a high school teacher and I finally learned how to use the smartboard properly. I connected my laptop to demonstrate a lesson… and projected the last thing I had open: a half-written email complaining about how loud this exact class is. Thirty teenagers read it in silence. One kid raised his hand and said, “Fair.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 428

By Muffinhater - 24/12/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 370

You deserved it 2 440

Heiress

By Anonymous - 19/02/2022 06:00

Today, my now ex-husband admitted in open court that the only thing he misses about me is the income from the chain restaurants my parents willed to me. I raised his kids for thirteen years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 126

What?

By Fuck you dad - 16/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, whenever my dad says something and I (genuinely) don't hear him, he repeats it in an extremely slow and condescending manner. My family says I should "get a sense of humor" because I'm rightfully pissed about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 172

Dynasty

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my grandparents are demanding that I come live with them because my stepmom is pregnant. They're convinced that she and my dad are going to throw me aside once the baby is born, even though I know that's not going to happen. They're even making threats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 60

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The Top

Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 385

You deserved it 1 882

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 586

You deserved it 4 593

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 478

You deserved it 4 668

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 3 180

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 876

You deserved it 31 188

Today, my dad said he hates gay people. My parents don't know I'm gay. I'm a high school senior. I wish I could just have someone to love and to love me, I just feel so lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 2 176