The Top

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What's it about?

By k…… - 02/04/2021 02:01

Today, I've had the exact same dream every night for a month. I'm sick of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 112

It's easy if you try

By Notalent - 24/05/2022 06:00

Today, I did a tribute to Ukraine at my school’s end of the year talent show by singing “Imagine.” by John Lennon. I thought I did well, until a group of guys in the audience began roaring with laughter and pointing. Then more people followed. I didn’t finish the song and left the stage bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 538

You deserved it 355

By Anonymous - 21/04/2013 05:07 - United States

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 703

You deserved it 7 367

Side effected

By AMDKilla - 18/09/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I was diagnosed with a chest infection and given antibiotics to take. One of the side effects of the antibiotics is diarrhea. I haven't coughed once throughout the infection, but I sneezed just as I was ready to go out to the shops and now I need fresh underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 103

Middle ground

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, after my wife and mother in law criticized me for being glued to my phone, I set out to prove them wrong by being away from it. When I finally opened it, my family was upset because my grandma died and they had been trying to reach me for several hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 122

Happy Birthday, I guess…

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 14:00

Today, my family decided it'd be a great idea to berate me for not being excited enough for my brother and his wife's baby news. They told us on my birthday, adding that if I wasn't so fat I'd have one too. I have insulin-resistant PCOS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 125

Dinner date

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Halfway through dinner, I noticed my mascara was smudging, so I tried to discreetly wipe it off with my napkin. As I looked up, my date was staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently, I had smeared it all over my face and I looked like a raccoon. He didn’t even offer to help me fix it, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 224

Wingnuts

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 10:00

Today, thanks to an electric shock, I technically died for about 50 seconds until my coworker managed to restart my heart. Now my deeply religious aunt and uncle pester me constantly, demanding to know if I met God or saw a white light, or the fires of hell. They’re absolutely fucking relentless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 935

We're playing those mind games together

By Anonymous - 21/09/2023 08:00

Today, I'm now at the point in my marriage where I’ve stopped caring, so when my wife says, “I’m fine” I’m going to treat her like she’s fine. I’ll maybe post an update with details of how long she goes from, “I’m fine” to screaming at me for not playing along with her mind games anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 05:51

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 847

You deserved it 36 801

By AnonymousUser - 05/05/2012 00:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 302

You deserved it 2 742

Careful

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 513

You deserved it 18 385

By Username - 04/09/2010 13:24 - France

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 188

You deserved it 3 295

Piece of shit car

By Anonymous - 15/08/2019 16:04

Today, I went to Auto Zone because my car was having trouble starting, and I thought it was the battery. The guy checked it with their reader, and confirmed it was dying. Right after he put the battery in, my starter died. I had to get my car towed to the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 130

By Username - 01/07/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I was so broke that I paid for a $0.28 candy bar with my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 309

You deserved it 12 796

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 631

You deserved it 31 383

You hear me?

By cuz803 - 10/04/2021 20:00

Today, due to the lack of social interaction because of COVID-19, I began talking and acting aggressively to myself almost every moment. It's grown so noticeable that my parents and sister mimic me as a way to mock me. Family bonding for the win, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 418

Furious

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 579

By offended - 07/04/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 51

Losing my mind

By Oh Gnooooo - 17/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 601

By cargaljen - 17/05/2014 21:34 - United States - Olathe

Today, a nice couple came in to buy a car. I offered to drive it out from the line of cars for them, since it was a tight squeeze. They then watched as I managed to back it straight into another car, causing a large amount of damage to both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 951

You deserved it 22 126

By paris78 - 18/10/2009 00:04 - Canada

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a Happy Meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 949

You deserved it 4 156

Surprise!

By Whyme - 30/06/2022 06:00

Today, I went on a date with my a man I’ve been seeing at a restaurant. I went to use the restroom. When I came back, he and my purse were gone. He won’t answer my phone calls or texts, and he blocked me on Instagram. I’ve been ghosted and robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 260

Couple of issues

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 20:00

Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 190

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 23/04/2021 17:01 - Germany

Today, I planned a busy day of errands: cycle 16 km, pick up a thing I bought online, go to the gas station, pharmacy and 3 different shops. I’m totally exhausted now. Maybe tomorrow I’ll find the energy to actually do all those things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 369

There was an attempt…

By Anonymous - 26/03/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I tried to flirt with a guy at the gym by commenting on his headphones, saying, “Nice headphones, you must be into music.” He stared at me blankly and said, “I’m not wearing any headphones, these are just my ears.” I swear I heard him laugh as I backed away, defeated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 501

By Paul Williams - 24/06/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 394

You deserved it 4 479

Some things aren't obvious

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 04:00

Today, my now ex-girlfriend accused me of wasting a year of her life when I told her I seriously don’t want kids. We’ve never discussed kids until today, but I’ve always known I never wanted them. Apparently she does want them, so she considers our whole relationship as a waste of a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 1 088

Love is…

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 935

You deserved it 5 159

Never going outside again

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got back home after I decided on a whim to embark on a solo adventure in the Australian Outback. My truck got stranded due to rising floodwaters, and I was stuck for days without communication. Rescue finally came, but now I'm reconsidering any solo further trips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 458

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The Top

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 030

You deserved it 1 640

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 504

You deserved it 5 030

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 817

You deserved it 2 739

Today, my fiancé told me that I need to get out of house and be with my friends. I have no friends here, and my own family doesn’t ever want to go do anything either. I guess I’m not a likable person if even my fiancé is trying to get me out of his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 214

Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 680

Today, as a joke, my husband filled my son's airtight water bottle with seltzer water before we went to kindergarten. The top blew off when he tried to drink, hitting him in the nose and spraying him with cold water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 146