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Hi op here, for all of you guys telling me to use flea medicines and all that, I have tried everything and they don't seem to come off and it really "bugs" me. It all happened after I got a dog so yea I'll keep on trying. On the bright side they are happy dreams.

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 18:47 - United States - Indiana

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 919

You deserved it 2 753

We hear ya

By Diana - 25/10/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that falling asleep with a bobby pin in your hair means waking up with one jammed in your ear drum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 407

Pampered

By Megsley - 20/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I went to the Walgreens by my house and bought 8 body wash soaps because my boyfriend needs that much for 3 days. I’ve done this so many times that the girls at the register know me, and my boyfriend, by name. They gave me a bunch of $5 off coupons because they felt so bad for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 179

Odd choice

By Anonymous - 22/08/2022 16:00

Today, I put "Jesus Christ" as a reference on an application, because all the fields needed to be filled in order for the submission to go through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 481

By anonymous - 18/06/2010 17:25 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 31

By Anonymous - 17/09/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 447

You deserved it 24 121

For all ages

By You Wish - 07/03/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year-old grandmother's bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen, it started vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 555

You deserved it 71 820

By selena5112 - 15/02/2013 18:50 - Norway - Troms?

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 190

You deserved it 2 327

By radiating - 09/03/2012 04:53

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 807

You deserved it 3 222

How nice of them.

By Anonymous - 30/10/2019 22:00

Today, I learned what my office nickname means. My nickname? Butterface. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 226

Little shit

By emmalou - 29/08/2022 06:00

Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 249

School project

By ninaaaa - 24/02/2014 00:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my sister finished a project about something she hates. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 823

You deserved it 4 024

By starcatch777 - 09/05/2011 20:30 - United States

Today, I blacked out going up a roller coaster. Instead of helping me, my friend took pictures of my face and posted them on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 329

You deserved it 7 420

Magnum P.I.

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 02:00

Today, I was in a slump for my private eye business. My idiot brother-in-law recently got engaged to a woman we don't know, and had a gut feeling about. Through my search, it turns out she is still legally married and only filed for divorce 3 weeks before the engagement. I don't know how to bring it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 231

Anything is food if you're brave enough

By sarahfromthesouth - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to see my 3 year-old daughter chewing on a used Band-Aid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 162

You deserved it 7 706

Juicer

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 18:00

Today, while I was gambling at a casino, my daughter call me. Then added her mother. And then added her dance teacher, my side piece. The call got so loud the Pit Boss had to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 3 072

By sofuckingembarassing. - 11/02/2013 19:19 - United States

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 216

You deserved it 8 003

Overreach

By VroomVroom - 04/03/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 139

You deserved it 3 512

Cultural appropriation

By Christinne - 26/06/2021 04:01

Today, I had to explain to my mom what an 'LGBT ally' is and that it is entirely possible for a straight cis girl to support the LGBT movement. She thought I was a lesbian because I have rainbow colored and LGBT memorabilia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 631

Nice try, Mom

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 03:00

Today, my mom lost an argument and tried to ground me. I’m 43 years-old and own my own house, so yes, she actually tried to tell me to stay grounded in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 75

By LittleArtist - 18/02/2014 01:01 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after three weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 5 301

Unwelcome visitor

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Barking

Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 268

Old man yells at cloud

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, it only took my dad 10 minutes after I'd arrived at my parents' house for him to say that the actor scheduled to be the new Doctor Who couldn't be Doctor Who because "He's black!" I did try pointing out that Doctor Who is an alien with two hearts but… I gave up after that. Merry Christmas, yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 203

Desperate times, desperate measures

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 047

You deserved it 30 021

By Vahootie - 03/03/2009 01:57 - United States

Today, my parents refused to visit me at college because "the flights are too expensive." They are currently shopping for a new car to replace my mother's two-year-old Porsche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 931

You deserved it 4 068

Accidentally?

By Anonymous - 24/06/2021 14:00

Today, my brother sprayed the entire kitchen, including all the dishes, with industrial strength spray adhesive, thinking it was disinfectant. I'm the one who got to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 81

FML on Facebook

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Today, I finished watching an entire movie after boarding the plane, before the plane even took off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 842

You deserved it 3 158

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 679

You deserved it 3 120

Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 757

You deserved it 440

Today, I caught my 29 year-old brother-in-law scratching his poison ivy with a handful of forks before putting them back in the drawer. I called him on it and he huffed, "You've never said anything before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 946

You deserved it 374

Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 1 036

Today, my manager said it was my choice to have surgery on my arm and that I shouldn't complain, everyone goes through pain. She's right, but I was born with a birth defect in my wrist. The surgery was going to happen sooner or later, I didn't want to be born this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 87