The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 28/08/2010 23:40 - United States

Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 3 103

By atetoeate - 27/08/2010 06:49 - United States

Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 3 821

Eternity

By Anonymous - 06/04/2013 16:17 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 811

You deserved it 3 635

By Katie - 23/06/2011 16:39 - United States

Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 695

You deserved it 2 816

It's not working out (for us)

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 00:30

Today, I was fired from my job, due to my "performance going down". My performance went down because I can't see due to having a stroke, which management is well aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 101

Inspirational

By Not sick enough - 09/10/2023 12:30 - United States

Today, I called in sick to work. My boss told me there's no excuse for sick days, because she once came in to work while suffering from pneumonia. Apparently, that's supposed to be impressive and inspiring. I don't know about you, but bad medical decisions aren't very inspirational to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 109

By SoClose - 03/04/2013 16:57 - United States - Columbus

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 285

You deserved it 11 374

By yikes - 21/04/2012 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 186

You deserved it 3 788

Yellow

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 11:01

Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 98

Not for everyone

By Ugh - 07/04/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 195

By Anonymous - 18/06/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl has a crush on me. Too bad it's my co-worker's five year old granddaughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 232

You deserved it 4 332

No Time for Haters

By FML Approved - 09/09/2017 03:30

Duck, dodge, dive, and weave!

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 137

They grow up so fast these days…

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 06:00

Today, my 5 year-old and I walked in on a girl giving her boyfriend a blow job in the washroom at the playground. Last week we found a crack pipe on the picnic table. So many conversations I wish we could have waited for… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 30/03/2013 20:38 - Germany - Bad Windsheim

Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts for my kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, for having way too many items for the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 545

You deserved it 15 660

Get tested, people

By Bhrugu - 30/04/2021 00:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I found out that people in the apartment to the left, in the one to the right and in the one above mine all tested positive for Covid, a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 139

By nh-Amazon - 27/04/2014 23:01 - United States - Plano

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 348

You deserved it 7 318

Not a great idea

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I have reached that point in my life: my wisdom teeth have made their presence known. My mom says I don't need to see a dentist, because, "they'll come out by themselves." As it turns out, that can happen, but it's extremely rare. I'd rather not bet on a random, unlikely chance, but she insists. Help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 88

By Crampon - 27/03/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 859

You deserved it 25 034

Unhealthy relationship

By Lance from the Serfs is a snacc - 03/05/2021 00:30

Today, I had to admit that I'm polyamorous. Well, I'm in several relationships. Parasocial relationships. With YouTubers and Twitch streamers. I talk to them through the screen. I can't remember what it's like to have real-life friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 1 128

Sick burn

By HotMarshmallowHead - 18/07/2022 16:00

Today, I was out camping with my boyfriend and his friends. I asked my boyfriend to give me a roasted marshmallow, asking him if it was cooled down and he said yes. I put it in my mouth and it was piping hot. They all laughed to the point of tears, all while videoing me screaming and running in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 301

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 851

You deserved it 14 432

By Anonymous - 11/04/2012 03:49 - United States - Moreland

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 708

You deserved it 2 073

By Brandy_Dandy78 - 12/06/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 439

You deserved it 5 830

Asshole

By WetWalking - 21/03/2013 13:31 - United States - Tyler

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 222

You deserved it 3 767

By heycutie - 15/04/2014 04:24 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 972

You deserved it 7 286

By Amber C - 07/04/2012 03:41 - United States

Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 986

You deserved it 22 979

It's all fun and games until…

By this generation sucks! - 14/07/2022 22:00

Today, I've now had to fire three employees this month alone. Why? Two were caught making TikToks while on the clock, “joking” about stealing customers’ credit card info, and the third posted a video of herself in a street fight while wearing her uniform. It should hurt to be this damn stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 127

By S. Tucker - 07/06/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 864

You deserved it 3 621

Objects in the rear-view mirror

By DogStew - 25/09/2019 00:01

Today, my obsession with my mean ex-girlfriend returned. It ended 9 years ago. It happened when I started researching self-help. Now, I can’t stop thinking about that selfish piece of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 568

Naughty boy

By wisp - 18/05/2021 10:59

Today, my father called me cruel and heartless. Why? Because while I was at school, our dogs opened the door to my room and managed to shut themselves inside all day without food or water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 96

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Technology Money Work Animals Relationships Horses Jealousy Birds Embarrassing Relatable Transportation Cars Miscellaneous Photography Mysterious Neighbours Cute I need your advice Clothes Family Love Cops Kids Abuse Intimacy NSFW Sex Mental health Ironic Haircut

The Top

Today, I've had so many family members die in the past 4 years, I now think of which pictures would look good at people's funerals when I look through photo albums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 982

You deserved it 668

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 186

You deserved it 5 143

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 405

You deserved it 4 683

Today, before a blind date with a girl set up by my flatmate, I put some aftershave on. Then I realised I had forgotten my contact lenses. When I put them in it caused so much pain that in my attempt to reach the bathroom I walked into a wall. When I got there, she saw my swollen face and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 293

You deserved it 8 371

Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 994

You deserved it 47 676

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, says "It's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 799

You deserved it 8 005