The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Noname - 25/02/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 366

You deserved it 40 187

Spill the T

By Seasonal Suck - 28/09/2022 16:30 - United States

Today, seasonal allergies are whooping my ass again. The last time this happened was… only two weeks ago. Even more unfortunately, today also marks the day I discovered that while hot tea does help soothe my poor, inflamed throat, if I drink too much of it without a break, I throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 216

By Niquesha - 23/04/2011 23:56 - United States

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 955

You deserved it 34 669

Huge fan of his work

By laf@me - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home, so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes, I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years, until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 4 430

Noob

By Anonymous - 09/05/2010 16:29 - United Kingdom

Today, if it wasn't already embarrassing enough to tell my boyfriend I was on my period, I had to explain what a period is in the first place, how it works, and why it means nothing can happen during that time of the month. He's twenty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 597

You deserved it 6 864

Gullible's travels

By Rebecca197 - 21/09/2022 13:30

Today, without trying, I convinced my 24 year-old daughter that Stop signs with a white border around it were optional. Her car is now totaled and she’s in the emergency room with whiplash. I didn’t think she’d be that gullible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 2 734

Sweet talker

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 13:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 395

You deserved it 12 940

By Z88 - 21/04/2010 20:29 - South Africa

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 889

You deserved it 43 251

Genetics

By lordoftheweird - 23/01/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 911

You deserved it 2 809

By Jukka - 19/04/2011 00:48

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 8 462

Cleanliness is next to someone else

By Anonymous - 10/03/2020 15:00

Today, we got new seats in my English class; I was seated next to a boy that I don't know very well. When I sat down, he informed me that he is "opposed" to brushing his teeth. I thought he was kidding. Then he started breathing with his mouth open. These are our seats for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 115

By random - 14/02/2012 18:05 - United States

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 3 386

Money Money Money

By Anonymous - 12/03/2020 08:00

Today, as I was coming out of McDonald's, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn't until I got home later that I realized I'd accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 1 694

Judgemental

By still on the wagon - 19/07/2021 00:01 - United States

Today, I got a ton of angry and disappointed messages. My boyfriend posted a picture of us out at a restaurant, and I was holding a brown bottle. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and I was drinking a fancy root beer. No one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 116

Supportive

By Anonymous - 28/09/2022 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 136

Miscommunication

By embarrassed - 21/07/2021 10:59 - United States

Today, I saw a really cute guy in the grocery store. We made eye contact a few times and I was trying to work up the nerve to start a conversation. Instead, he screamed, "Yes, I know I’m fat, bitch. You don’t have to stare!” I got so many dirty looks I left immediately. I didn’t think he was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 138

By ciararow - 14/04/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 26 222

Like tears in rain

By anabanannailoveu - 17/07/2021 07:59

Today, while I was on a walk, I saw my boyfriend; since it was raining, I thought it would be romantic to run up to him and kiss him. I ended up breaking his arm because I knocked him over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 435

Happy something

By Zebracat - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to wish my boyfriend a happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after I'd sent it, I realized that the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 478

You deserved it 56 940

You absolute melt

By hkkilla - 16/03/2010 17:40 - United States

Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 10 547

Panic buying? What panic buying?

By Paul Rushing - 19/03/2020 15:00

Today, at the supermarket where I work, we had at least 40 people waiting outside for us to open our doors at 7:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 316

By Kendra_Nine - 16/01/2013 18:28 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 733

You deserved it 31 108

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 12:14 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 746

You deserved it 5 332

By Anonymous - 10/04/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 326

You deserved it 4 527

Suspect

By Anonymous - 12/02/2024 15:00

Today, I had to explain to yet another HR manager that no, my bruises, scratches, and scars do not mean I’m lying about being in an abusive marriage, it just means I’m a Muay Thai fighter who owns a cat who is a moody, scratchy little bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 145

Confined

By Anonymous - 11/10/2022 04:00 - United States - Highland Lakes

Today, I got my first positive Covid test. It's also the first day of a week-long vacation that included two things I'd been planning for weeks that I haven't done in years, and a trip somewhere I've been looking forward to for months. All shot to hell right before it began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 157

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter asked me if I could have the kids overnight, even though I’d babysat all day, all because she just got home and was too tired to make the drive to pick them up. She only lives two minutes away. I can see her house from my bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 156

By MahSquito - 06/02/2012 02:14 - United States

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 531

You deserved it 6 386

First class

By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, I brought my own thermos of coffee on the train with me, the kind that flips open to uncover the mouth part. I took a few swigs and notices a cute boy nervously smiling at me. Suddenly, I felt something drip down my nose. The flip part was leaving drops of coffee all over my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 816

You deserved it 6 304

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Technology Money Work Animals Relationships Horses Jealousy Birds Embarrassing Relatable Transportation Cars Miscellaneous Photography Mysterious Neighbours Cute I need your advice Clothes Family Love Cops Kids Abuse Intimacy NSFW Sex Mental health Ironic Haircut

The Top

Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 240

You deserved it 1 320

Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 561

You deserved it 29 549

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 776

You deserved it 23 911

Today, I shit the bed. Like, full on shit. I had to go ahead and throw my clothes away. It made it all the way to the mattress. The worst part, it didn’t even wake me up, my alarm did, so I have no idea how long I was sleeping in my own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 348

Today, my mother went on a misogynistic tirade about how girls are backstabbing bitches, and nothing but trouble. She continued saying how she wishes my sister and I would make more guy friends, and stop being so damn girly all the time. Umm… has she forgotten who she gave birth to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 175

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 94