The Top

well all the other headphones that I have broke in like the first week and those ones had lasted 2 years so I wanted to keep them, plus, it's old superglue and I had let them dry for a couple of hours, although that doesn't mean I wasn't stupid to put them in my ears without checking. they didn't actually get stuck in there, it was just sticky and gross, the FML was that I was dumb enough to stick them in my ears without checking. =P

By kimhinesvoinea - 07/04/2013 12:07 - United States

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 433

You deserved it 43 688

By pot, meet kettle - 05/04/2013 23:21 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 989

You deserved it 9 820

By Username - 23/06/2011 04:47 - United States

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 840

You deserved it 5 952

Fingers crossed

By NotASize0 - 04/04/2013 15:12 - Denmark

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 712

You deserved it 4 287

By Anonymous - 23/08/2010 23:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 264

You deserved it 3 137

By Anonymous - 07/05/2014 20:57 - India - Kundan

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 469

You deserved it 3 529

By fuck YOLO - 03/04/2013 05:20 - United States - Ramona

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 359

You deserved it 3 932

By Tequila - 20/06/2011 16:12 - Netherlands

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 609

You deserved it 3 219

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 550

You deserved it 5 157

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 04:59

Today, at a bar, I bumped into the hot blonde teacher I had the hots for all through high school, and she actually tried to seduce me. I was only in the bar drowning my sorrows because I recently had my cancerous prostate removed and I can’t get erections any more. Life isn’t fair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 409

You deserved it 154

By screwedwoman27 - 19/06/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 066

You deserved it 7 535

By becca - 21/08/2010 04:04 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 379

You deserved it 39 400

The Fear

By marie - 26/04/2021 22:59

Today, the kids in my 6 year-old daughter’s class were asked what they feared the most. My daughter’s worst fear is apparently not werewolves, sharks, monsters or clowns. Nope, it’s "Eating food I don’t like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 226

By yuuupyup - 18/04/2012 00:55 - United States - Somerset

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 451

You deserved it 2 054

By princev - 18/06/2011 10:32 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 593

You deserved it 112 948

By pleasestop - 01/05/2014 02:13 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 742

You deserved it 3 697

By ShellShocked - 30/03/2013 04:06 - United States

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 848

You deserved it 3 068

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 096

You deserved it 13 989

By willstaysingle - 29/04/2014 14:18

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 323

You deserved it 5 884

willstaysingle tells us more.

willstaysingle 4

Wednesday 30 April 2014 17:58

I am the Original Poster. I'm only replying because so many of you requested a follow-up and so many of you are misconceptualizing the context. From the beginning I discussed my interest in a serious relationship and expressed my eventual wish to be with her. I did not explicitly say I wanted to marry her. In common logic, there is no need for that. It is to be expected. For the ones asking about age. I am 30 years old, she is 25 years old. That was clearly not the problem. I am not seeking attention in all of this. But I will let you people know I emigrated for this girl. I made entire reservations for the family members I wished to see. I sacrificed a lot for her. I adapted to her needs. Some of you people say just because there is effort, she doesn't need to accept. While I agree, at some point, when you realize how much sacrifice is made, you are bound to love. There is no love whatsoever without sacrifice. I told her from the beginning that I am not wasting my time. If you are not sure what to do with the rope I gave you, let go early before we get to high grounds, so you could spare me a killer downfall. To all the people who felt sympathetic and gave me a "chin-up". Thank you. A lesson learned that I will teach every single one of you here. Be selfish. I have filled my heart with hate. Love and cherish. Just do not sacrifice so much that you find your life so strained you realize that you wasted years of hard work, effort and emotion. Mind your mental health.