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As soon as I said it I realised the implications and just had to laugh. We both got a good chuckle out of it. I thought it would do the same for all of you so I thought I would share.

OP here. I just wanna clear things up. I work third shift and go to college full time, so yes, I do take naps every now and then before work (usually right after classes), and the two dogs I own are a Pomeranian and a chihuahua terroir, both of which are two very small breeds of dogs. So for those saying that dogs are meant for protection, yeah, not these. Pomeranians are very defensive of their territory, so no matter who or what my Pom sees or hears outside, she'll bark like crazy. The chihuahua usually does the same thing; they bark even when they hear me open the garage door. No, I never heard the intruder break in and yes, I have trained the dogs both to silence the barking but only on command. So since they were in a different room than me, I went and commanded them to silence, and yes I didn't think there was a burglar in the house because like I said earlier, these dogs bark at EVERYTHING. Being distracted by the dogs, I did get KO'd but it wasn't for too long. I woke up only minutes after, called police and managed to catch the thief, so it's all good now. I hope this clears things up and that y'all have a fantastic day!

So, the second half of the story: Cousin got the bunny away from the cats before it was completely dead, and when I couldn’t fix her “new pet” she wanted to sit and watch it die. And take it to another relative’s house and bury it in *their* yard. Took a while to convince her to leave it in a “safe place” (bushes where my cats like to hang out, so they could finish the job). Hey, saves me money on cat food.

OP here. Wow, wasn't expecting so many comments! I feel I should probably clarify a few things here: First of all, I have a very vivid imagination and tend to have involuntary daydreams where various scenarios to a situation play out. This was one such case, and doesn't mean I'm violent or am actually contemplating shooting people or anything like that, my mind just rollercoasters through various things happening and I'm just sort of along for the ride. I found this one amusing enough to post on FML. My wife and I are currently looking into fertility tests to find out exactly what the problem is, and will of course consider adoption/fostering if it turns out that natural conception isn't on the cards. Don't worry, I'm not going to abduct anyone's kids or go on a murder spree. :P