Today, I went to the movies. I was sat next to a woman who talked through the film and said, "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML
Today, I noticed how fucked up I am generally. When as I was at school, everyone thought I would be a scientist at some prestigious institute somewhere, but now I'm actually homeless in Moscow, I live off shoplifting, sleeping at Burger King Restaurants, on buses, and in parks. I never do drugs or drink. This sucks! FML
Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML
Today, I realised that I have been a teacher for far too long when I told a random stranger I saw at the mall to tie up their shoelaces. FML
Today, after a 16-hour day fixing the computer network at my workplace, I didn't even get a "Thank you". I did, however, get people whining about how, "That computer crap never works" and, "Why do we need IT anyway?" FML
Today, I was on a bus with my friend's older brother. He was kinda cute. I went to message my best friend, telling her how cute this guy was, how he was kinda packing downstairs, and how adorable he was. Two minutes later, he wordlessly turned his phone screen to me. It was the message. I sent it to him by mistake. FML
Today, my car broke down because it couldn't wait two more days for an oil change. Now it might be FUBAR. FML
Sometimes you just gotta smack a ho
The monkeys arnt even cute in that movie? Their creepy! And evil!