Sex, Smells Intimacy Turn me on

Turn me on

shmelly - 16/04/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

To each his own

Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

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Superfuzz Big Muff

miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

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Steamy

Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

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Observation

Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

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So sensual...

Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

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Crotch rot of the mouth

Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

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KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

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fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

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Bummed out

Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

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InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

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THC_Overdose 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:10

haha this made me laugh

karebear9 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:12

ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi

bennyboy111 7

Friday 16 April 2010 16:42

hmmmm is it man on man action or man lickin ****** ????? #35 win

johanestrella 0

Friday 16 April 2010 16:44

do girls really like it when guys go down on them I'm jw or how many find it creepy?

hassenpfeffermmm 0

Friday 16 April 2010 17:02

It must have stunk before. Wash before u have sex. Hey at least he was willing to eat it anyway! He's not a keeper, but good for getting nasty!

heFNhatesME 0

Friday 16 April 2010 17:03

that's your fault for being smelly

Sparkiee93 3

Friday 16 April 2010 17:22

OP keep your kitty clean, and no you can't just lick it clean.

patsova23 2

Friday 16 April 2010 17:31

holy crap that's funny but I hope it DIDN'T

dannyfont 5

Friday 16 April 2010 17:43

where I am from the stinkier the better. if you know your husband is coming from the mines you must have atleast five days not washing down there

ragsy 7

Friday 16 April 2010 18:07

Did you ever have that 'not so fresh' feeling?

ash907 1

Friday 16 April 2010 19:27

uh soap n water dude ur freaking gross n so is he for wanting to go dwn there when he knew u smell like that.

mileycyrusisgay 0

Friday 16 April 2010 19:38

lol that's funny

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out that a two-day job I helped my dad do for his old friend was actually a job for a real customer, who paid my dad £4500. All I got for my two days work was coffee and Co-op sandwiches for dinner. FML

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Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate I said, "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls." His response: "We don't." FML

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Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML

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Today, every time I go out with my friend, we get approached by girls. He’s taken, so he’s offered to be my wingman. Every time the girls find out he’s taken and I'm the single one, they tell us how they were only interested in him. I’m working my ass off trying to improve myself, and these are my results. FML

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Today, I thought my car had been stolen because I couldn’t for the life of me find it in the office car park. I panicked and called the cops, only to remember I had taken my bike to work. FML

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Today, I was at a store. I asked if I needed a key for their bathroom, and they said the door was open. I have to walk past them to go in and out of the bathroom. Thirty seconds later, they used the key and walked in on me. FML

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