Miscellaneous: Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's...

I am envisioning OP's mom got 4 boxes of pasta on sale and thought oh, that'll last me all year. Until OP plowed through them. One family's year supply may be different than another's.

TheBrochure 22

Friday 26 July 2013 13:05

Allons-y, Alonso!

irishmaiden78 23

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:19

Shh, spoilers!

slap_u_much 6

Friday 26 July 2013 13:07

Who wouldn't

fakedsincerity 32

Friday 26 July 2013 13:18

Well that sounds healthy...

beclaurela 18

Friday 26 July 2013 13:29

My life.

Ruuku 11

Friday 26 July 2013 13:33

I took down 4 fudge cakes in an hour and all I got was diarrhea.

MidnaLink 33

Friday 26 July 2013 13:40

How the hell'd you do that?!?!

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The Top

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 087

You deserved it 31 070

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 796

You deserved it 2 870

Random

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 183

You deserved it 13 443

Today, my girlfriend of three months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 019

You deserved it 2 546

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 764

You deserved it 37 753

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 046

You deserved it 5 218

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 261

You deserved it 8 148

Today, my brother came up with what he thought was a genius idea for how to make money. I then had to explain to him that insurance fraud is illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 182