Intimacy: Today, I got drunk and had sex with a cute coworker. Afterwards,... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By PossiblyPregnant - 25/12/2016 03:25 - United States - Yuma

Today, I got drunk and had sex with a cute coworker. Afterwards, I realized we hadn't used protection and he said "don't worry, you can't get pregnant, I have a low sperm count". FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 70

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

sohigh10 34

Sunday 25 December 2016 22:37

Aside from getting pregnant, if he's that casual about it, get tested for STD's soon. Some things are asymptomatic so you won't know you have it until you've infected others and that's not a nice Christmas gift.

interstellar2017 6

Sunday 1 January 2017 6:05

Just because he has a low sperm count doesn't mean you cannot get pregnant

Comments

Sparkieemae 14

Sunday 25 December 2016 19:07

Well, it does make it harder to get pregnant with a low sperm count. But it won't hurt to use PlanB. $50 is still cheaper than 18 years of raising someone.

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Monday 26 December 2016 22:38

Or $200-$1500 for an abortion depending on where OP lives.

sohigh10 34

Sunday 25 December 2016 22:37

Aside from getting pregnant, if he's that casual about it, get tested for STD's soon. Some things are asymptomatic so you won't know you have it until you've infected others and that's not a nice Christmas gift.

interstellar2017 6

Sunday 1 January 2017 6:05

Just because he has a low sperm count doesn't mean you cannot get pregnant

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration Intimacy NSFW Sex Growing old Fire Love Awkward Customers Kids Annoying Work Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Health Ecology Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Animals Cats Neighbours Technology Geek Weird

The Top

The Top

Today, I set my beer on the windowsill while I made space for it on the table. Suddenly, the wind knocked the window open. Into my beer. Into a box of expensive electronics. It was the last beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 308

You deserved it 3 245

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 222

You deserved it 3 767

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 532

You deserved it 4 665

Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 991

You deserved it 469

Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 657

You deserved it 845

Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 100