Miscellaneous: Today, I got a fresh coconut for the first time in years. Excited,... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Lepisma - 10/05/2016 09:24 - United States - Saint Albans

Today, I got a fresh coconut for the first time in years. Excited, I cracked it as soon as I got home from the store. It smelled a little different than I expected, but since it had been so long I chalked it up to a gap in memory until I took a taste. I got a mouthful of fungus. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 38

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

givethisguyahug 7

Wednesday 11 May 2016 0:27

Your life must be pretty great if you get excited over a fresh coconut. It's a shame this one didn't live up to the expectation. But don't give up, keep searching for that perfect coconut. Keep up the good fight

Mauskau 35

Tuesday 10 May 2016 23:55

Not so fresh then.

Comments

Mauskau 35

Tuesday 10 May 2016 23:55

Not so fresh then.

givethisguyahug 7

Wednesday 11 May 2016 0:27

Your life must be pretty great if you get excited over a fresh coconut. It's a shame this one didn't live up to the expectation. But don't give up, keep searching for that perfect coconut. Keep up the good fight

Lepisma 38

Tuesday 17 May 2016 10:23

Lol. Coconuts are one of my favorites but I don't ever get fresh ones, so it was supposed to be a treat for myself. Alas, it was not to be.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration NSFW Sex Growing old Intimacy Fire Love Awkward Customers Annoying Work Kids Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Health Ecology Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Cats Neighbours Animals Technology Geek Weird

The Top

The Top

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 168

You deserved it 7 316

Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 093

You deserved it 3 956

Today, I visited a friend and her new baby. The baby had a tight constrictive headband and a clearly wet cloth nappy on. I tried to give some friendly advice on why this was bad, but she shot me down, saying what would I know, I don't have a kid. She's 17 and I'm a 26-year-old practicing midwife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 172

Today, I found out that my crush had a girlfriend. The way I found it out? He hugged me from behind, calling her name and saying darling, etc. When I turned around in shock, he quickly backed away and said, "Sorry , I thought you were someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 114

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 162

Today, and forever, I've never had a woman try to hit on me, so when my barista asked if I’d like to come to her place after her shift, I didn’t immediately realise she meant sex, so I actually stupidly said, “What for?” She got embarrassed and people glared at me like I was scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 550