Intimacy Think before you speak

Think before you speak

Takuma - 20/05/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 10/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

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She definitely heard

Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

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anonymous - 21/11/2009 08:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

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On the fritz

Slow brain day - 09/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML

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Classy

LAME - 23/02/2009 08:09 - United States

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, who I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her phone, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

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accidentalslut - 07/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

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Anonymous - 16/09/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML

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Friends?

idekwtfigo - 01/05/2022 06:00

Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML

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bg4545 - 24/03/2016 03:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

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dlova - 27/01/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

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brontide 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:05

It's your ex who should be posting here, not you.

Aelaena 6

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:06

Woo I detect some jealousy here.

Tom815Cat 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:06

lmao nice, I'm sure you feel vindicated.

posty92 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 21:00

YEAH! Show that douche of a new boyfriend. You are my hero, man.

Mira_Decency 0

Monday 13 July 2009 1:48

Aweh >.< you deservered to say that :)

impregnant 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 9:22

haha nice!!! you're me hero i loved that!!!

inface2b 0

Monday 10 August 2009 6:50

thts not an FML thts just win

cristineuhhx3 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 18:22

Not an FML, that's a winnn. That's funny. Although, a girl gives you her virginity, you don't take it.. But this isn't an FML :P

misslady3 0

Friday 28 August 2009 21:49

ya well i was standing with my current boyfriend of two years and my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend has been my first everything except kiss, and a first kiss is special to him, and i was his first kiss, and he always seems to complain about how he wasnt my first kiss, anyway i was standing with both of them and i had jelly beans and both of them asked for some and my boyfriend comes up with "i asked her first" so my ex comes back with "ya well i kissed her first" my boyfriend was pretty much in a bad mood for the rest of the day