Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML
Today, I got a call from a telemarketer who asked, "Is this the crazy cat lady?" I only own one cat, but apparently, that’s all it takes to earn a reputation. FML
Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML
Today, my hearing aids got wet because i was caught in the middle of a thunderstorm. So they stopped working. I didn’t hear this morning's alarm because I can’t hear the alarm without my hearing aids. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle at work doing a cartwheel. I was doing the cartwheel to prove to one of my students that adults can do cartwheels too. FML
Today, I was in the check out line at a store when I thought I recognized the guy behind me from high school. I turned and said, “Oh my God, Mark?” He said, “No.” To make it worse, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Are you sure?” FML
Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML
that bee was PISSED!
Why the hell would you aim at something other than the toilet in a port-a-john...I'm surprised you didn't piss all over yourself.