That's more than I asked for By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 619 You deserved it 4 829 Share Tweet Share
Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 189 You deserved it 10 244
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 479 You deserved it 3 794
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 186 You deserved it 10 760
Today, I moved in with my in-laws and don't yet have money to pay rent, so I'm keeping to myself and staying out of trouble. While trying to write a thank you card, I spilled black ink all over the new rug and it bled through to the carpet. I might need to find a new place to live. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 212 You deserved it 656
Today, after I confessed my feelings towards my long time crush two weeks ago and was rejected, he messaged me asking for a quick fuck, with no strings attached. I guess that’s all I am good for now. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 538 You deserved it 236
Today, my son got the last of his furniture delivered and finally moved into his first house. This boy has exactly one chair, a massive armchair pointed at the TV. When I asked him where the hell visitors are supposed to sit, he said that visitors generally won’t be welcome, even me. FML I agree, your life sucks 181 You deserved it 454
well he didnt reach and grab it did he?
use it to tape your cleavage shut