Love, Poopoo peepee, Weird Awkward Strange flex, but OK

Strange flex, but OK

Jpah - 24/06/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

49 940

3 920

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 10/01/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML

49 671

3 562

embarrassed4life - 25/06/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

51 149

15 726

Take a break

Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

472

123

Stinker

taman - - United States

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

46 429

5 479

noweddingforyou - 29/09/2013 19:21 - Canada - Guelph

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

46 510

7 684

Payte - 08/04/2011 05:31

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

16 642

44 329

Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

44 094

3 583

maximus - 20/01/2010 00:08 - United States

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

10 246

31 297

Industrial logs

wow - - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

19 693

37 324

Anonymous - 21/08/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

45 213

17 894

imsleepingbeauty 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 9:31

Sounds like she may be into some kinda kinky shit, literally.

av232 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 9:25

haha way to ruin the moment

amstillives 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 9:49

Go take a lap..

prettypride 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 9:50

lol ewwww.

judgeymcjudge 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 9:56

Now THAT is a conversation.

Austine19 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 10:03

lol poopypants

sayhello_fml 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 10:18

I don't think she was into you.

shortshan 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 15:30

That's what I was gonna say. If a girl does something like that, unless she's just plain weird, she's probably giving you a HUGE sign! Warning: Do not proceed. I would think that would turn most guys off. And rightly so.

Jezlovespink 5

Monday 14 May 2012 3:51

Thats wat I used to do if I did not like a guy and I knew he was into me, so I would say.wierd crap just so.he would leave me alone/not like me!!!

laurisshnazzy 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 10:19

She's a keeper.

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 24 June 2009 10:19

nuttin wrong with that. As long as she did a considerate flush halfway through. In a house that only has one bathroom this is sometimes a necessary evil. Though you can be mean about it if your that way inclined and wait til the other person is in the bath before you go have a shit. :P

Nightfallz 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 10:32

how is this a fml?? omg I was hanging out with a cute girl and she started to make conversation. you suck

musicismyplane 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 12:49

No. You suck.

phatdaddy 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 22:14

no. YOU suck!!!

greenmonxster 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 0:17

no you suck

diabetic_rage 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 10:58

Run away. Far away.

Darth_Taco 14

Wednesday 24 June 2009 10:59

At least you can't accuse her of being boring :D. My boyfriend loves to call or text me when he's pooping XP. We now have a code for it. Whenever he's pooping, he texts or calls me to tell me that he's cheating on me. At least I can say that he likes to involve me in everything xD. I love that weirdo. Anyway, gonna talk to her again? :D I also have to mention that I added this to my favorites!

Metronomy_fml 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 15:27

ever think maybe he's actually cheating on you?

nike1 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 17:47

why would he telel her that while he's takin' a sh*t?

phatdaddy 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 22:17

one of these days, he's going to text you that when he actually IS cheating on you, and when you find out, he's gonna be all like, "Dude, I told you that 2 months ago! Don't you remember? You seemed OK with it at the time..."

thecheekyone 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 22:49

LMAO that is classic, I wonder if I could use that line and get away with it. But seriously, why does he feel the need to tell you hes takening a shit? Or am I the only one thinking that is weird?