Love, Pregnancy Surprise So… good news, or…? - FML

So… good news, or…?

daddy-o - - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

35 102

21 195

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Cold open

AbsentMindedBoy - 03/03/2009 04:09 - Canada

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

45 656

15 783

themarrowguy - 23/08/2013 10:06 - United States

Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML

49 191

4 364

Anonymous - 25/01/2011 07:19 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

27 106

3 526

Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

42 920

8 520

captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

20 131

1 294

Blockages

jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

1 734

386

DaChief - 31/05/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

13 397

1 113

Admit defeat

Ugh his ego - 01/02/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, after months of health problems and my boyfriend offering unsolicited advice that mostly boiled down to "eat meat, take vitamins", I finally followed his suggestions to prove that he was wrong. It's a week later and I feel better than I have in years. He's never going to let this go. FML

87

785

Bad sign

ITalkGood - 28/12/2009 00:37 - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

27 801

10 026

Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

27 821

2 200

brokenangelexy 13

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:09

Don't be silly wrap your willy!

tencentsakiss 19

Wednesday 14 March 2012 16:11

I want to know if this is just your cute way of writing, or if she's really too dumb to realize that she's pregnant.

KRiddle 15

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:13

Well, congrats! Even though you don't seem to thrilled...

aeisha26 12

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:21

congratulations stud!!!!!

Jewlz1162 5

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:23

Wrap it before you tap it :)

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:27

You're not dating her for brains are you?

babygirl83150 8

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:29

Congratulations Proud Papa!

urbangiraffe 3

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:32

Please abort that poor child....and get her tubes tied while your at it, we don't need anymore stupid in this world

Senseless_487 29

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:43

Really? I never said "oh shit" when I found out. I was ecstatic, as a matter of fact. In my opinion, the ones who panic when they find out, and bitch about it, are too immature to have kids, and shouldn't be having sex without taking some measures.

soldier249 5

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:51

You play you pay

daitan 3

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:56

Congratulations, daddy! ;-)

flyingfox408 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 21:58

You're a miracle worker!!

6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I spent more time driving to my vacation spot than actually vacationing. FML

23 439

4 198

Today, in my excitement to make some new cards for the postcard exchange I take part in, I apparently spilled my bottle of glue directly into the bag that contains my entire postcard collection. I didn't notice until several hours later. FML

3 679

617

Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML

24 525

3 326

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

32 199

3 266

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

53 930

12 680

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for refusing to give a found credit card to a woman it didn't belong to. FML

11 092

773