Intimacy Peek a boo

Peek a boo

Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Scarred for life

Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

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Can't catch a break

Anonymous - 22/04/2023 18:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML

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Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

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Parenting is exhausting

ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - 28/12/2015 05:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML

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Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

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Not now

Anonymous - 25/09/2021 23:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML

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Time for some DIY

Anonymous - 20/05/2022 22:00

Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML

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anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

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Boundaries

Alock - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML

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Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

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foxwasalamb 24

Thursday 8 May 2014 12:03

a lock on your door would have cum in handy ;) gotta love kids tho

bromeister 6

Thursday 8 May 2014 12:02

Time for birds and bees

withasmile 3

Thursday 8 May 2014 18:39

Get a lock

sythe511 28

Thursday 8 May 2014 19:02

Doors (are supposed to) lock. Use that feature. Bathrooms and parents rooms should have locks.

rec_chem 22

Thursday 8 May 2014 19:14

That's why doors have locks on them.

Antivist 13

Thursday 8 May 2014 19:41

Woah ;o xDDDD

carls2018 9

Thursday 8 May 2014 19:46

Ever heard of locking the door?

mikaellikestacos 14

Thursday 8 May 2014 20:04

Should have locked your door

kwojahn 3

Thursday 8 May 2014 20:11

lock the dam door.

DanielleinDC 33

Thursday 8 May 2014 20:26

Next time, lock the damn door.

aeldredge70 7

Thursday 8 May 2014 20:43

been there only my son popped up from the end of the bed and said "are you done yet?" my hubby put a lock on our door the next day

erikahall21 9

Thursday 8 May 2014 21:08

Oh been there done that lol

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

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Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

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Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML

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Today, my parents asked me if my girlfriend of two years and I wanted to go see a musical with them. I haven't told them that she broke up with me the day after she met them. FML

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Today, I was finally forced to accept that after an almost 16 year relationship and 14 year marriage, it's pretty much over. After begging and pleading with her for the last few years to show any love and affection, she still refuses entirely. I'm only here for the kids now. FML

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Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like each other. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says, "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

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