Cats, Dating Love No one disturbs the masters - FML

No one disturbs the masters

Anonymous - 01/08/2015 04:10 - United States - Erie

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

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Where are you?

Anonymous - 05/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML

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Differences

Alone - 21/05/2014 11:05 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

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hopelesss88 - 17/06/2010 12:42 - Australia

Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later, his Twitter account said otherwise. FML

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nightxxtime - 10/01/2017 14:39

Today, the guy I'm dating was supposed to come over. He would have if I hadn't fell asleep while he was waiting for me to open the door. FML

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Bad date #3764

Greenpuppy416 - 04/07/2020 05:02

Today, I had a date at a formal restaurant I'm well known at. My date showed up two and a half hours late with a jogging suit on, and then got mad at me for ordering, eating, and paying without him. FML

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Running late

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML

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great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

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Lilly - 02/10/2013 12:43 - United States - Conway

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

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kill the audience - 10/11/2016 17:51 - United States - Lewes

Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML

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Overenthusiastic

Sash - 06/04/2012 21:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

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Koalax3 18

Sunday 2 August 2015 0:38

I would've honestly asked him if i could go over so I could play with the cat.. But that's just me

booze_n_bitches 37

Sunday 2 August 2015 0:40

"Pleading cat" - a genuine excuse in my household to excuse oneself from any activity. I'm with him on this one.

AletheDefender 15

Sunday 2 August 2015 1:10

Can we really blame him? Can we?

Miss_Whipped 43

Wednesday 5 August 2015 6:14

Yes. Yes we can.

1dvs_bstd 41

Saturday 8 August 2015 1:40

-Obama

puppies4life 10

Sunday 2 August 2015 1:14

well either way he got some puss on his lap!

RageWolf16 31

Sunday 2 August 2015 1:38

He's a keeper

Model_Type_Chick 6

Sunday 2 August 2015 1:50

Either he's lying or a cat lover. But I bet he is lying....

karcummings 19

Sunday 2 August 2015 2:02

if he doesn't want to wake his sleeping feline chances are he won't wake you if you sleep on his lap.

sarahfret 6

Sunday 2 August 2015 2:09

Marry him.

fmlsams 27

Sunday 2 August 2015 2:11

Send me this man's number. I'll marry him.

thenielsens 12

Sunday 2 August 2015 2:30

You might of just dodged a gay bullet there. Find someone who knows how to manage their priorities lol.

happypenguins 24

Sunday 2 August 2015 2:46

That is a very legit reason don't worry

trey600rr 22

Sunday 2 August 2015 2:47

**** blocked by pussy

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

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Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML

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Today, I went to school with a bad haircut. I got about 50 cancer jokes so far. FML

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Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "Hell". FML

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Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

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Today, yet again, I got into an argument with my dad. I have a PhD in the subject. But he's "entitled to his opinion", for, as he said, he's read a summary of the history of the country in a tourist guidebook, and the general view doesn't have to be based on more detailed information. He also corrects me when I speak the language, which he doesn't know. FML

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