Ninjas are everywhere By Nancy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone had cut off half of my ponytail. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 638 You deserved it 4 598 Share Tweet Share
Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 660 You deserved it 1 779
Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML I agree, your life sucks 26 733 You deserved it 3 142
Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML I agree, your life sucks 28 817 You deserved it 5 477
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled away and said, "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or get another Simon!" FML I agree, your life sucks 33 178 You deserved it 3 795
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML I agree, your life sucks 954 You deserved it 99
Today, I wondered who ever came up with the idea that women are elegant and refined. Mine farts like a horse, belches like a bullfrog, eats like a pig, and she's proud of it. Like something out of Shrek. FML I agree, your life sucks 145 You deserved it 481
I find it funnier that no one else noticed or said something...friends much?
hahaha find out who that was and have retribution!