Kids, Phone calls, Relatable Parents My way or the highway

My way or the highway

Why are you still my father anyway? - 03/11/2021 06:00 - Mexico - Chalco

Today, whenever I call my father on the phone he never answers, but if I ever ignore his calls he wishes me dead. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 29/06/2016 14:42 - United States - Pardeeville

Today, my dad might be dead. I'm basing this solely on the fact that he hasn't called recently to verbally abuse me as he often does. He constantly beat me as a child, yet now I'm kind of worried for the piece of shit. FML

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Anonymous - 09/12/2012 06:43 - United States

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

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Anonymous - 09/04/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

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Thanks for reminding me

Anonymous - 02/04/2022 18:00

Today, my son's school called and made a comment about only calling me because my wife didn’t answer her phone. My wife is dead. It’s in his record that his mom is dead, and yet they still tried to call her before me, because I suppose dads aren’t real parents like moms are. FML

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Anonymous - 20/10/2010 22:22 - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

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Quality family time

Anonymous - 21/11/2015 13:47 - United States - Kenosha

Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML

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thanks - 02/05/2014 18:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

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Angry man

Anonymous - 26/06/2022 00:00 - United States - Camden Wyoming

Today, I learned that now that my mom is dead, and my dad doesn't need my emotional support during her illness anymore, he's going to go back to insulting me every time he talks to me. FML

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Bigmouth Strikes Again

Anonymous - 29/10/2019 04:03

Today, I was involved in an intense argument with my dad. Just as I yelled, "You haven't done one thing for me", my phone rang. The same phone that, as of today, my dad no longer pays the bill for. FML

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Close to me

Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 November 2021 14:39

He probably always wishes you dead. When he sees your number come up, he puts on his Ray Parker, Jr. voice and says, "I ain't talkin' to no ghost."

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 November 2021 14:39

He probably always wishes you dead. When he sees your number come up, he puts on his Ray Parker, Jr. voice and says, "I ain't talkin' to no ghost."

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement, to the whole family. FML

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Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

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Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

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Today, the handle on our front door broke, leaving us unable to open it. We got a guy to come to sort it out, but all he succeeded in doing was completely wrecking the door. He says he can come back next week. We have no other way out of the house. FML

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Today, at work, I did my morning constitutional and the automatic toilet died and wouldn't flush. I had to tell my boss, since there's only two toilets in the ladies' bathroom. So it's pretty obvious who dropped the duce. FML

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Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

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