Miscellaneous Morning! - FML

Morning!

wellesleybanana - 17/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

foxbrat - 11/10/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

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jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

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Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

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My little friends

Annonymous - - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

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Fear factor

Anonymous - 04/05/2020 23:00

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

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tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

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no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

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mac - 27/01/2014 14:40 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

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Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

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Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

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designedlikedice 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:00

At least you weren't awake while the roach was crawling down your throat.

Sonalis 9

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:58

Ewwwwwwwww is all I can say. That must suck.

balanceMMX 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 21:16

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

3milyzabc 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:28

D:

rc15 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 22:49

why would the roach crawl down your throat and leave its leg behind ?

strike9 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 23:22

6, your retareded, submitter, sorry about that one :/ just remember that at least your stomach acid can burn through anything, so he's well gone.

HarborLights 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 2:09

I would probably have a mental breakdown if this happened to me.

Ignominy 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 3:08

Mmmm... protein.... ;)

crystalc0la 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 5:29

oh god that's nasty D:

lalosaa 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 6:58

nastyyy! ew ew ew ew ew ew! bad mental picture... thats so gross!! same here #39, same here.

pikachu_01 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 7:55

Ew, that's disgusting. Roaches are so diseased.

maniac1993 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 19:07

pml at #8 halarious! (pml= pissed myself laughting) thats epic

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was working out and doing box jumps. My friend thought it would be funny to kick the box aside as I tried to jump onto it. Now I have 2 broken teeth. FML

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Today, like every other day, if you are sick before or during work, you immediately get sent to get COVID tested. I don’t think my sickening pregnancy hormones need COVID testing, just fresh air away from my coworker who has sulfur running through his ass. FML

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Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

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Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

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Today, at work as a manager at pizza place, I got yelled by a customer because they got one fewer paper plates than they asked for. FML

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Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML

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