Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 452 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML I agree, your life sucks 68 906 You deserved it 53 410
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML I agree, your life sucks 40 929 You deserved it 19 907
Today, I helped this guy get into his truck after he'd locked his keys in it, and he said thank you and went on his way. Ten minutes later, a woman came out of the grocery store and freaked out, saying someone stole her truck. I helped a guy steal a truck. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 514 You deserved it 813
Today, I finally got a Christmas gift, a calligraphy set, for my father that I have been looking for for a month. My dad came home happily with the same calligraphy set today, saying that he surprised himself for Christmas. He got it cheaper than me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 164 You deserved it 242
Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 154 You deserved it 13 544
Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 086 You deserved it 4 690
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?