Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 455 You deserved it 3 840 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 709 You deserved it 1 324
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 483 You deserved it 1 923
Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 677 You deserved it 4 129
Today, my husband decided it was time to tell me he had a 3 year old son. We have been married for 5 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 465 You deserved it 3 130
Today, my wife of 18 years and I went to a party. We arrived and left separately, and didn't even talk to one another while there. I miss her. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 170 You deserved it 245
Today, I’ve been texting a guy from my old college and we finally arranged a date. I told him it would have to fit my daughter's schedule and his interest in me vanished. Apparently I never mentioned having a kid and have wasted his time. I literally have text messages to him all about her. Prick. FML I agree, your life sucks 949 You deserved it 305
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?