Jailbird By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 09:00 - United States Today, I asked my foster parents to adopt me. They said no because my dad's getting out of prison soon. FML I agree, your life sucks 470 You deserved it 51 Share Tweet Share
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML I agree, your life sucks 23 408 You deserved it 3 023
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML I agree, your life sucks 117 458 You deserved it 9 303
Today, on our way home, my cousin, step dad and I noticed a man trying to kidnap a young girl. As good citizens, we called the police so they could catch the man. Nine police cars showed up at my house because dispatch told them we were the kidnappers. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 040 You deserved it 157
Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 462 You deserved it 127
Today, my mom has fibromyalgia and the absolute worst case of arthritis that at least four different doctors have ever seen, I have dyspraxia, my dad has been diagnosed with arthritis, and my older brother is also showing signs of arthritis. Physical ailments run rampant in my family, in case you didn't notice. FML I agree, your life sucks 768 You deserved it 108
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML I agree, your life sucks 141 You deserved it 311