Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML
Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me. The reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s family, whom I’ve known since I was in elementary school, now completely hate and blame me for "ruining their precious baby boy’s life." I'd called the police and reported him after finding out he cheated on me with not one, but several high school girls. We’re in our 30s. FML
Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML
Today, I came home from a one-year Army deployment, only for my wife to tell me she feels claustrophobic with me in the bed. She then asked for a divorce. FML
Today, what I thought was going to be a lunch date turned into a life insurance sales pitch. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl who told me, “Sunny weather makes me depressed.” I’d hate to see what’s she’s like when it rains. FML
Please share with us what you said and we can all use it!!!!
I once spoke to a telemarketer, and the whole time I just kept going "choo choo choo", until he asked me if I was ok. I then proceeded to cry and called him a bad man for making fun of me. lol