Kids Intimacy Hygiene police

Hygiene police

Anonymous - 07/12/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

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noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

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Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

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girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

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shh - 09/10/2015 07:06 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

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docwinters - 27/05/2013 12:39 - Australia - Bathurst

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

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It's not what you think

shway - - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

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Prankster

longlostkid556 - - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

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Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

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kittykat033 - 08/03/2014 17:19 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML

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petite_amber150 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 9:03

gross. wash much?

batman8 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 9:09

price check on vagiclean, I repeat, price check on vagiclean

makennaj 0

Monday 14 March 2011 22:55

damn. take a bath and wash that.

jjbbygrl 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 16:41

Honey u need to wash that iz gross

twtyb821 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 7:45

Eewww clean your cooter

Bayfreshshorty 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:53

disgusting, you should either shower or get that check out... or just do both!

sexycookies 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 22:24

nasty.....

helen29 4

Saturday 25 June 2011 6:33

omg shower dirty girl

marlarooNaps 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 21:01

ew. shower?

harryduck7 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:04

Smells like fish Taste like chicken Plug your nose and Keep on licking

hillaryd19 1

Friday 10 February 2012 5:07

Vagins smell even if you take showers. I'm guessing everyone who says 'take a shower' or 'vagiclean' are male. Please learn about the female body before you insult it.