Food, Cooking Health Health risk - FML

Health risk

SoupCanoe - 29/08/2011 08:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because, "It's chicken, not salmon." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

jazzterchic - 29/12/2016 15:03 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mom doesn't believe you can get food poisoning from food that is cooked. She gave us food that had sat out all day/night and then got angry when I said we could get sick. FML

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I'm just sick, really - 02/05/2015 00:33 - United States - Springfield

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

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Anonymous - 13/01/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

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Modern Family

Anonymous - 03/11/2020 23:01 - Australia

Today, my stupid drunk dad was yelling for food and since my mum needed to finish her taxes before midnight, I told him to STFU and passed him prawn fried rice, which he told me to shove up my ass. I threw it in the bin, since he's the only meat eater in the family. When she'd finished, she yelled at me instead of him. FML

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Tasty!

Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

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Uh oh…

Klingon - 04/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I woke up late and in a rush, I grabbed what I thought was a container of leftover spaghetti from the refrigerator to take to work. At lunch, I opened it to find it wasn't spaghetti, but raw marinated chicken my roommate had prepped for dinner. I ended up eating a vending machine sandwich that tasted like cardboard. FML

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Picky

Anonymous - 30/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML

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wtfseriously - 09/05/2011 17:22 - United States

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

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Am I really the asshole here?

What did she expect? - 07/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML

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stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

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evaki1 12

Monday 29 August 2011 15:50

You should have said 'I meant chicken pox!'

Michyxo 14

Monday 29 August 2011 15:50

Well, you probably should have cooked it again yourself rather than throw it away, but fyl, that's disgusting.

hurricanelea 1

Saturday 3 September 2011 1:17

Cook it yourself

SalsaDaddy 1

Saturday 3 September 2011 6:35

Don't you just love old fashioned moms?

misslyss1234 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 18:22

I think I need a fella

thejake1997 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 22:09

is your mom a gypsy?

punkrocker092 0

Monday 5 September 2011 4:49

I'm sorry you're being raised by a dumbass

hurray4jmk 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:56

Why didn't you just go recook it?

KnucklesDeep 5

Saturday 10 September 2011 2:05

Your mother is an idiot.

lifeisasillygame 2

Saturday 10 September 2011 2:38

lmao.. that's all i can say.

mileyfan17 8

Sunday 18 September 2011 14:21

Your moms an idiot

Burdie04_fml 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 19:15

I agree with everyone else, you should have cooked it yourself. You should be grateful you have food!!!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my roommate served me with a two-week’s notice to vacate the apartment, the day before I leave for 10 days of working in a completely different city 150 miles away. FML

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Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

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Today, I sent a guy an up-skirt shot, trying to be cute and flirty. He responded with a series of increasingly more mean emojis, including the laughing eyes, the green nausea face, and finally the poop emoji. FML

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Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

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Today, I made out with the guy I've had a huge crush on for the first time. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered softly into my ear, "I can't wait to bone you." FML

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