Love, Money Transportation He pulled a Carrie Underwood!

He pulled a Carrie Underwood!

Andy - 26/03/2018 01:30 - Germany - W?rselen

Today, I got laid for the first time in over a year. The girl then texted her location to her boyfriend, who I didn't know about. He smashed four cars, including mine, with a sledgehammer and ran off before the police arrived. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Monday 26 March 2018 1:43

I just want to know if she called him to tell him that she wants to break up, or did she need a ride after she rode you?

kirby1964 20

Monday 26 March 2018 2:03

So sue her and him, get him arrested. To get your car fixed. No more one night stands.

liltmac 7

Monday 4 June 2018 11:53

She sounds crazy, bet it was good sex

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

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Today, I made Christmas dinner. I live in a block of flats, and I was cooking for two hours. The smoke alarm went off after 10 minutes, but it's so high up that I couldn't reach it to turn it off, so I had to fan it off every five minutes, then five minutes later it would go off again, and so on. The neighbors complained. FML

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Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

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Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

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Today, I accidentally washed the jacket my mother bought me in the washing machine. I didn't know it was supposed to be dry cleaned. My mother ended up crying and screaming that I don't love her, and this would be the last time she ever buys me anything. FML

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Today, my admissions to my dream university was rescinded and no longer being considered for a $45,000 scholarship. Apparently, the content of my TikTok account does not align with the University’s values. I forgot I have a few videos of me twerking and lip syncing a few profanity-laced songs. FML

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