Food, Addiction Health Gotta have it

Gotta have it

kp. - - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Funyearahead - 08/08/2016 12:44 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

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YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

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dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

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Another resolution bites the dust

Anonymous - 30/09/2024 00:00 - Germany - Seevetal

Today, I was extremely tired, so when I decided I wanted a snack, I went to the corner of the kitchen where the chocolate is, opened the garbage bin, and reached inside. FML

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mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

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ChocoMilkManG - 03/07/2009 01:37 - United States

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

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Sneaky

Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

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foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

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Chip on your shoulder

Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59 - United States

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

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Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

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Freeze_fml 16

Monday 17 October 2011 8:25

That's disgusting and you should feel disgusting.

captainfalcon7 0

Monday 17 October 2011 8:27

I'm sorry this is just sad

narutou546 4

Monday 17 October 2011 20:47

You kind of people are the reason America has the highest obesity rate

Daralea 21

Monday 17 October 2011 21:10

Yea! Though OP is from Australia, (s)he is responsible for obesity rates in the US!

DoctorWhooves 6

Monday 17 October 2011 21:54

OP is from Australia, genius.

SmilyFaceGuy 7

Sunday 11 December 2011 7:14

Your the reason america has the higest dumbass rates

chelseaaababyyy 17

Monday 17 October 2011 20:53

are you insane ? just buy more chocolate !

sematariux 7

Monday 17 October 2011 20:59

Fatass

RKD 23

Monday 17 October 2011 21:31

Hasn't anybody ever heard of chocolate-covered ants?

Zoth 0

Monday 17 October 2011 21:32

Mmm chocolate covered ants! Good protien!

stephanyk2 7

Monday 17 October 2011 22:13

Gross dude.

Randalltk421 0

Monday 17 October 2011 22:16

You spelled fat wrong.

marit1997 4

Monday 17 October 2011 22:36

omg eew

badactor009 0

Monday 17 October 2011 22:57

Of course you wiped off the ants and ate the chocolate bar. Is there more to the story?

jimmyjim13 5

Monday 17 October 2011 23:30

Five buck say she fat

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

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Today, I'm in quarantine after testing positive for Covid. Two weeks after starting a new job. Two months after receiving the vaccine. FML

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Today, my mom went on a rant about how insulin and other diabetic medications are evil western poisons, and that she can control her condition naturally on her own. That would be great, if she actually ate right and exercised instead of just using meditation to “think” herself healthy. FML

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Today, a total Karen climbed into my passenger seat and told me she was going to give me a bad Uber review for being late. I ain’t no Uber driver, but she refused to believe me. I had to call the police to get her out of my car. They had to taser her to get her out. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

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Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

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