Thief Miscellaneous Get a move on!

Get a move on!

Anonymous - 09/06/2011 02:00 - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

The definition of irony

Rastaa_Reyes - 16/05/2019 23:52

Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML

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anonymous - 10/08/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

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Cart Narcs

xXglycerinXx - 18/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML

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Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

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SwimSquid - 15/04/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

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disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

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Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

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Lost

Sam - 17/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML

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anonynomi - 19/11/2015 17:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

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me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

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abceasyas123abc 12

Thursday 9 June 2011 8:47

All for one and one for all..?!

cynthiaFTW 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 8:49

is it bad that i laughed REALLY hard at this?

amadan 0

Friday 10 June 2011 2:54

If you didn't run at all why/how would you have gotten to the car at all? either way that sucks

cheezter 15

Friday 10 June 2011 3:07

op shoulda walked home, snitches get stitches

specialized_fml 0

Friday 10 June 2011 3:08

ha ha sucker

taw6969 0

Friday 10 June 2011 3:20

moms is a g.. lol freaking hilarious

THEgirlNEXTdoor0_fml 8

Friday 10 June 2011 3:38

i dont get it wallmart is like cheap and allways on sale that like the last store were i will ever shoplift at !

heyred 11

Friday 10 June 2011 4:35

How proud you must be.

Chrispayne 4

Friday 10 June 2011 4:52

Wow. Security gave u a ride home. Sucks to be then they are so fired

sweeetooth 4

Friday 10 June 2011 5:18

hahahahhaahhahahahahahahahhahahhah I'm sorry but that is just too funny! ur mother is bad ass!

beckham_732 3

Friday 10 June 2011 5:20

that's just straight out bad parenting!!! kinda feel bad.

Laura_Sophia 0

Friday 10 June 2011 5:29

i wish my mom was like that lmao

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after a great night of sexual ecstacy, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year-old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night, he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

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Today, the underwire in my bra snapped as my 9-hour workday started. FML

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Today, what I thought was food poisoning is actually a baby. FML

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Today, I found out my boyfriend of almost 10 years was/is a Sugar Daddy to a girl I know, for the past 7 months or so. I found out through a mutual friend.. FML

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Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

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Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML

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