Dramatic Entrance Fail By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28 It's not easy being cheesy... I agree, your life sucks 579 You deserved it 210 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML I agree, your life sucks 86 148 You deserved it 476 381
Today, according to my emotionally distant boyfriend, stopping by a whorehouse on his way home several nights a week for a quick blowjob isn’t cheating, because it involves cash and no intimacy afterwards. Dumped his ass real quick. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 968 You deserved it 207
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 498 You deserved it 6 863
Today, my boyfriend and I flew to another country to see a concert. He said he'd carry all the cash and tickets in his wallet, so I left my bag at the hotel. He got so drunk, five minutes into the show he took off leaving me stranded in a strange city with no means of getting back to the hotel. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 686 You deserved it 11 891
Today, I woke up feeling amazing. Upon looking at my phone, I saw a text from my boyfriend's ex, saying, "I'm sorry." Ten minutes later, I received a slew of angry text messages from my boyfriend, thanks to his ex. What an amazing day. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 702 You deserved it 272
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML I agree, your life sucks 792 You deserved it 1 159
Today, I learned that bunnies mark for territory. And when I say mark, they do a 360 no scope piss and spray everything all over the walls. The smell is horrendous. FML I agree, your life sucks 351 You deserved it 122
Today, I tried to find a cheap apartment to get away from my toxic parents. There seems to be only one that's in my budget and it has abysmal reviews. The job market is in the crapper, so the odds of getting a better-paying job anytime soon are slim to none. FML I agree, your life sucks 334 You deserved it 71
Thank god the garage door was in the way, mom might have been just another statistic from being run over.